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Review by J.S. Arning Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
I really enjoy your war-riddled house imagery, though it slips at times. if you can maintain that sense of a house behind enemy lines that would strengthen your poem. I first picked up on a sense of a war theme but then you began talking to a child that had misbehaved and the fisherman and this other imagery threw me off. is there a way to tie these characters into the same imagery?

Just a small note, if you put in punctuation I think your readers would get a stronger sense of emotional investment in the piece. But that's a stylistic choice, and I do love hearing your voice in the piece!
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