Well all I have to say is wow! You hit all the spots of a good romance on this peace, then you twist and turn it to the direction that no one wants a good romance to go. How did you learn to write like that? Again Bravo, you have a lot of talent- and you make big words seem simple (I'm not very good with vocab but you made it, that I understood the whole time).
Hi, well I stumbled onto to this poem, but as I read it I'm just a little confused with it. Yes I know someone harmed this person, but why did this person allow it in. Examples to clear up the confusion of the story is by adding a few words like: is it from an abusive relationship to two people trying to understand each other, but it always ended badly? Just adding a little line to understand the story underneath this poem can help the reader understand why such anger blossomed from this character.
And to put my two last cents in to help the flow of the poem: "If where be measured," how does that involve someone's eyes.
Otherwise I see a lot of promise for this poem to grow.
I wish I could say more to this memory of a story, I would just say you hit the heart strings with this beautiful writing. You did more though, you made thinking happen giving my mind of what ifs. Memories that makes me not regret when I did step in.
In the writing stand point though, sometimes it isn't quite smooth- like I don't know what the women screamed at within those two minutes, it just isn't exactly make sense. But this is a story that a few people could forget.
Wow will that leaves me to my memories when I was little, I did realize how bad I had those thoughts when I was younger. But this poem tells the truth of how it feels, with your side of the story.
Just to help make this go a little smoother is by adding before "out of time" in the second to last paragraph. I just noticed that's all.
How you write this I get it the meaning behind it. It's beautiful in a somewhat somber way, truly though I wish there is more you have not added this poetry, like there isn't much background but then again that maybe your whole point.
Though to my main feeling and response to this poem is almost an on edge type feeling, wondering what is bugging me but its staring me in the face- if you have any idea what that means.
I thank you so much for this, since I did read just one of your flash fictions just for a fun read. I will keep this on my favorites, to help guide me when I'm stuck. Thanks :D
Wow I say, flash fiction has always astonished me of what people create but that was really good. It gives me ideas that I would of never took that prompt- but I guess that's one of the main points to flash fiction. But this reminds me of the first story I read from flash fiction (I read one of huntersmoon's flash fiction stories) All I have to say is you have talent (you probably already knew that), and did you continue this story?
Ha, I really liked this poem. Kind of reminds me how my parents looked at me when I'm on the computer (or when the computer breaks down). To me though, this poem isn't a smooth read all the way through, don't get me wrong the rhyming is very good. But "Reading's" could be changed to "Reading is", and I think "it is" could be formed into a "it's" or "its"- I'm not very sure though, since I'm no good at grammar. With those little changes I think the poem with be easier to read and enjoyed even more.
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/johnsonamj4
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.08 seconds at 6:47pm on Nov 25, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
