\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/isa1187
Review Requests: OFF
7 Public Reviews Given
9 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of The Sleeping Aid  Open in new Window.
Review by Isa Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
This was absolutely hilarious. The only suggestion I have is very nitpicky and entirely subjective - I found that the lines "Twixt the pro and con / she rambled on" didn't flow quite as well as the rest of the poem. That said, the poem as a whole flows well, rhymes well, and is imaginative, interesting, and amusing.

Please, keep on writing.
-Isa
2
2
Review by Isa Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
On the whole I love this poem. I've never heard of an abcedarius poem before, and I like the structure. It seems like a good choice for a lyrical poem that's halfway to becoming a story. The poem has a strict structure, and it's very impressive how natural you made most of the lines sound.

My favorite lines were
"Quiet speaks volumes to
responsive ears, telling
secrets to those who listen."



There were a few places where your syllable count was slightly off.
The third line in the third verse
"Knowing spring was hiding."
is six syllables, where it ought to be seven.

The last line in verse four
"peace on land forever loved."
is seven syllables but should be six.

The first line in verse 5
"Quiet speaks volumes to"
is six syllables to my ear, although depending on pronunciation I can see how it might be counted as seven.


Overall this poem flows very well, and you really have a gift for vivid imagery.
Keep on writing,
-Isa
2 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 1 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/isa1187