Well done, this piece is right on, you ask the most important question there is: What is my destiny?
The imagery is fantastic, it complements the seriousness of the situation. The language is very appropriate and well stated. Well done and write on!!!
I read this twice, I just had to. Technically, this peom is right on, the words used, the grammar. However, it is the way the words strung their chords, how their song sent me to that place in my mind that remembers her. This is what a good writer should do to his/her audience: make them feel what they are writing.
I like the play of words pointing to confusing, the unkown. I like that you have placed the character in a battle, a battle within her own spirit, soul. Yet, I would like to know more about her struggle, the reasons why she is so vexed. Is it love? Spirituality?
This piece has potential, I would like to see it grow.
This is the best poem I read on here yet. Technically, I cannot see any fault. So, that's that. Now let me say I really want to say. This is very a very powerful piece. It hits directly where one screams in agony, or shouts in joy. The right words describing the right emotion. My favorite line by far is, "Can absence make a heart grow out of its mind?" Wow. I've never seen the heart described like that. I could go on and on because there is so much there. So, I will simply say fantastic and write on!!!
You know, there is so many layers in this piece. I can definitely feel that this is so much more than just about a nail. You've almost made that nail a living entity. Excellent reflection skills and tranference of feeling and emotions too. Write on!!!
I will start by saying that you are indeed, a writer. I say this because I can imagin every good book or poem I have read; and the one characteristic that stands out: I was engulfed in the words or story. I truly felt every aspect of it, the emotions, the anger, the pain. I am angry at this story, I am angry because the character is broken. I am angry because she seems mean, but it is because of her experiences. I want to read this again, because the complexity of this character is astounding. "But if you cannot make me cry, you can never be my superman." Wow, yet, it mirrors life so well. I am a very sensitive man, a very emotional man, and I suppose that is why this story draws me in deep. And, I cannot but help hear the voice of someone I know. Well done, it is simply great.
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