You must be a Scorpio, we often find we get the revenge we want eventually and it is intensely satisfying.
Often people don't understand our attack and reaction because for them and others their actions/words were long forgotten.
A well thought out poem, i liked it intensely and seemed to speak volumes in between the unwritten lines.
tenderness, feeling and emotion brought together in a lovely display of memory.
some tactile description good, especially with reference of oaf, delicate and sugar candy so brittle.
Brittle when sick as well, nice short introduction without making it pathetic when when considers anyone ill.
a feeling i think most of us feel at one time or another.
good reversal at the end.
one almost feels like also being dealt out, but then at the turn, quite easily convinced that we too want to be dealt in, and that there is meaning behind it all.
this is good and in the first part sets the mood of what you are talking about about, but in the end you almost convey the meaning you where trying to get, i presume innocence of a child, any child a homeless child that can find wonder in a impoverished life, but i wouldnt of mentioned the color of the child, because that denotes only certain children feel this and not all, but just my thoughts. one should write something that everyone can relate to, not a select few. because by mentioning his colour you excluded his happyness, if that makes sense in a roundabout way?
but good poem never the less.
Very good, wrote something like this a while back, but then i was going through a rough patch and needed a way to explain the insanity of my thoughts.. dont know what you where thinking when you wrote this though, but i enjoyed it. pieces like this dont always strike us imediately, but only later when things have calmed down and we read it again, do we wonder how we could of been so crazy.. keep up the good work!
Yes aint that so typical, when a person is down and out, there is always some person to take it one step further...when you think you're at the bottom, there is always someone to show you how much further down you can go!
Sounds like a home party, full of drink, smoking, merriment, but meaningless chatter besides the friendship that brought you together in the first place?
but you wonder to what end was the evening worth? the strengthing of bonds..is it always needed to have meanfull conversations? or just being together once in a while, is a meaningfull conversation in itself?
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