I hope you don't mind a little criticism. THe story definately holds one's interest. Your opening paragrapth was great, it caught my attention and actually made me read on. Your story was imaginative and well written. Now come the proverbial But's.
Critism # 1
What was the present?
Critism # 2.
Explain in some way why such a decision is to e made at such an early age! Set the story in the future, like 2045 where inteligence peaks at an early age, currently this story concept would not be acceptable. In the near future, Yes.
I have no problem with the story, short, concise and well written. But, I know the proverbial but! The title of the story did not grab my attention, to obscure, no indication of anything meaningful to the to the average reader. How about something like "Only three more weeks", or "I will completre this course". Just a phrase the reader can identify with.
One other suggestion, strenghten the ending. Perhaps like "Three weeks left, are they going to loosen up or tighten up training?" Arouse the readers curiosity about the future of the cadet..
The title and the first line of the opening reached me, some how it was like reading Jean Shepherd again, stories reminiscent of youth. Very entertaining and the end was a complete suprise, Well written.
The only way I judge a story is not by Grammar, but, by the interest the story evokes. To me you have a winner in this story.
PS, You probably never heard of Jean Shepherd. He was a humorist back in the 1970's. Used to write for Playboy and car and Driver
Usually I would not read such material, not really in my realm of interest. Usually such treatises are incredibaly dull, however not your essay. I believe the opening paragrapth got me. I continuied on and found the essay very interesting and enlightning. I did however wonder about the"Marmite issue". I assume that means one either hates or loves the stuff! Kind of like Vegamite? (I'm a Yank by the way)
You took basicaly a dull (To most people) subject and made it interesting. A few items of interest, which may or not be true. I have heard that crows are aware of rifles (firearms) and rapidly dissapear upon spotting one. Another story I have heard is that crows have a limited sense of numbers, I mean like five men with rifles go into a leanto, the crows will not approach the area untill all five men leave. If any of these items are true I feel the addition of same to your essay would rather enhance man's views on these creatures. Good essay.
I stumbled upon your writing and was amazed that your writing struck a bell with me. With a limited number of words you managed to establish a character type, evoke emotional thoughts about her situation and the overwhelming desire of the woman to survive!
At first I was a little concerned that you left the reader hanging, did she survive or not. However, I think you did it the right way, it will leave the reader wondering, the outcome is up to their imagination.
I have only one minor complaint or critism, I don't understand where the title fits the story!
Otrher then that, as tony the tiger would say "Greattttt!
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