This poem really made smile. One of the best poems I have ever read without doubt. I love all your rhymes (out of place rhyming tends to niggle at me even though I do it myself sometimes). It really is a beautiful poem and you can really feel the emotion coming from it, it's not like it was faked at all or you don't mean it. My personal favourite part is "In ashes we'll recline" it's a brilliant finish to both the poem and the flame metaphor. Well done on a great poem.
Great poem! It lacked a lot of structure which I don't really like for a poem this long but you still made it work so well done. I really related with the poem, I often get frustrated and think very similar things to what you have in here. Whenever i get writer's block I'm going to read this poem. A very good read
"Sword of Mana" was a good game, especially for gameboy advance. It took me half an hour of searching to find what it was called, I haven't played it in years. Old game or not though that's still plagiarism. the prison section is pretty much word for word the same as the game except you changed the 3rd person in the cell to a man. They fight a giant jackal just like in the game, escape the same way and get asked to become guards which is again in the game. Of course in "Sword of Mana" the hero (you called him Louis) escapes by jumping off a waterfall instead of dying. Please write original stories, as soon as I find out how I'm emailing a moderator about this.
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