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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/grandmapat
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48 Public Reviews Given
67 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review by grandmapat Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
What a lovely, simple, and exciting way to look at marriage. This should be read by all who seek an understanding of how marriage works best. How different from the common philosophy I often see demonstrated i.e., where spouses maintain a fear of losing their individuality, by using the too commom refrain: "if you loved me, you wouldn't..." etc.
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Review of Valkyrie  Open in new Window.
Review by grandmapat Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Well. Could you hear me laughing as I read this? If you thought it was thunder you heard, it wasn't, it was me.

First off, I laughed even as a suicide threatened; it was, however, funnily put. Then, well, I haven't heard "hubba, hubba" for years and that struck a giggly chord, too. Next, as I enjoyed the unfolding adventure, I laughed at the male chauvinist mind set/dream being expounded so well, then at the near fulfilling of hope. Last, I laughed at the terrific ending. Which was unexpected but perfect. Great story. Besides which, it also gives a the reader a pause for thought on the state of relationships -- whether intended or not. Kudos to you, GrandmaPat
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Review by grandmapat Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Man, I laughed aloud several times and smiled the remainder with just a few giggles interspersed. But, I do have a complaint: where's the rest of the story? After all, I want to meet Thumbthimble and Elwood and Randolph, too. I'll have to search your site to see if you did a continuation. If there were any errors, I didn't see them -- the tale was too engrossing and funny. Did I say funny? I meant LOL FUNNY funny. Your satire is spot on.
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Review of Sweet Unicorn  Open in new Window.
Review by grandmapat Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
some might quibble about punctuatiion or a few scan bumps. Who cares! This is REALLY COOL!
Imagine, please: I was empathizing with the narrator, assuming it was a teen-age girl!
Oh, this is delightful, a wonderful turn!

I don't see anything newer than last spring/summer. I do hope you are still writing!

GrandmaPat
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Review by grandmapat Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Now that I've read what, I hope, is only the first 3 chapters of your Convention 2004 report, when will the next few chapters come out?

I wasn't there, but, after reading your work, I could feel as if i were a part of it. Nice work.

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Review by grandmapat Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Technically, should there be a " ; " after "she knows" ?
I also think a period after "other swimmer" would be more effective because of timing when one reads aloud.

I like the story. I like the sound of it as I read it aloud (the best way to experience poetry, I think). And I enjoyed the surprise ending.
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Review by grandmapat Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
In the first paragraph, "the crocodile didn't get me this time..." should be "...get him..." as this is not told in first person. In the second paragraph, did you forget to put a comma after "...the door...", an opening phrase?

Those were the only 2 errors I noticed. As I got into the story, I was too busy reading it to see any.

A while back there was much discussion of "show v. tell" in writing, over which was better, etc. Well, here, you have a perfect balance. The dialogue is pretty darn good, too.

As for the story: I liked it! Each character was delineated with a minimium of fuss, but clearly understood. The action was lively. The ending just right. And I will never again fear the monster under my bed!

All in all, a good job. Thanks
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Review of Burned  Open in new Window.
Review by grandmapat Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Oh...my...G...! What a perfectly surprising and perfectly written story. You had my attention from the start with well-constructed sentences and terse descriptiions -- not a needless word. But the ending! WOW! And although it seemed to come from out of nowhere, it is perfectly logical. Worthy of any mystery magazine or short story collection. Thanks!
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Review of Couch Critters  Open in new Window.
Review by grandmapat Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
What to say? This is perfect. And I am glad that there's finally a good reason to not look closely when vacuuming the couch!

This lightened my day, Thanks!
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Review of Our star  Open in new Window.
Review by grandmapat Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
How fortunate you are to have a special someone give you a star! Do you know that song, "Somewhere (Out There)"?
Because wherever you and he go, that star will go with you. And if you are apart, you can still see it at the same time and surely your thoughts will connect. The song sort of says that. So does this poem; I looked behind the going away part and saw that.

I review for content and this poem leaves me with a feeling of hope and love.

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Review of Diane's Monologue  Open in new Window.
Review by grandmapat Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
A wee bit on the dour side. But don't give up or lower your standards because, from fifty on, it gets better and better!

I didn't give this a 5 because it's too short! The writing is such that I want to read more.
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Review by grandmapat Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I love the humor and I cannot imagine anyone thinking this is a costly site because of the many plans to choose from in various price ranges.

Having a list of the various sites and things to do with them is very handy, another free service!
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Review by grandmapat Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
An excellent report, I'm glad I came across it on the review page. You tell it very well, especially when comparing Mr.Boit with Mr.Daehlie. Sometimes we lose track of the adage: It's not whether you win or lose, it's how you play the game. That this principle is so lost in too many amateur sports is really sad.
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