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Public Reviews
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In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello. J.A. Buxton, Summerwind here reviewing your short story by random review.

Title: The title is very enticing to the reader, it draws you in and you want to find out about the Christmas Past.

Overall Impression: Wow! You took me on a journey with you. I felt as if you and I hopped into an hourglass and turned it back reliving your Christmas Past. You told your story with vivid imagery and descriptive sentences. Such as, The room seemed filled with the pine smell of our tree standing over in the far corner. Days before, we had spent the evening trimming it with both fancy and homemade decoration. You made me think back to my childhood, when I spent Christmas with my girl friend's family because my family didn't believe in Christmas. You brought warm memories of my friend Donna and I decorating her tree, things I hardly think about anymore.

Summary: A beautiful childhood story , well written with warm memories of the author's Past Christmas!

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2
Review of One True Hope  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello bobxdarker, Summerwind here reviewing your writing.

 One True Hope Open in new Window. (E)
Dark secrets to goals and success
#2005332 by bobxdarker Author IconMail Icon


Title: I think title is open and it could apply to any subject.

Overall impression: After reading this, I had to go back and read it again. There are some real gold nuggets of truth in what you say about success. Success means different things to different people. To some it's a vow of poverty, and to others it all about money, and fame. I found your writing to be very profound with an important introspective message for all of us. For me, every thing I see is temporary and the things I don't see are eternal.

Summary: A very profound piece of writing, making us all think about our purpose of existence and how we think about life and success.

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3
3
Review of Frayed  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
Hello Nikola, Summerwind here reviewing your poetry by random pick.

 
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Frayed Open in new Window. (ASR)
A frayed life...
#1088862 by Nikola~Thankful Library Lady Author IconMail Icon


Title: The title Frayed could mean anything, so it leaves the reader wondering what frayed is.

Overall impression: It's difficult to write a metaphorical poem and I think you did a incredible job with comparing yourself to a rug. You take the reader through what you as a rug would suffer in being walked on, being constantly washed and losing the color and pattern through years of wear and tear. I especially like these lines.

Roll me up, I'am tired
worn, thin and dull
My usefulness long past

Summary: A well written metaphorical poem about the author comparing her life like living as a rug.

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4
4
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
James Harris, Summerwind here reviewing your Children's story by random.

 The Old Octopus  Open in new Window. (E)
Story for kids
#2005371 by A. James Harris Author IconMail Icon


Title: The title is spot on for a children's story.

Overall impression: I loved, loved this delightful children's story. I liked how you tell a magical story about the life of an Octopus. I enjoyed your vivid imagery you used in your story describing the Octopus and how he lived. Him finding a strange stone and encountering a fish that gives it to him to take home. Then, he dreams of being younger, wakes up and finds out when he looks in the mirror the stone has magical powers and he is young again.


What I liked: Your imagination to write this adorable children's story. I could seen the Octopus in my mind.

Favorite Lines: These four lines are well written to describe the Octopus in a children's story.

He wore a shiny suit

Made of fine blue scales.

He had a seahorse necktie

And a moustache as well.

Summary: A very well written adorable children's story about an old Octopus that regains his youth through a magical stone.


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5
5
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Prosperous Snow, Summerwind here reviewing your poem by random.

 Seeking and Finding Open in new Window. (E)
Searching for the light
#1856696 by Prosperous Snow celebrating Author IconMail Icon


Title: The title is very appropriate, it has a mystery to it. It doesn't give away the substance of the poem.

Over all impression: I find the poem to be structured in a creative way using a partial no rhyme and rhyme scheme. I enjoyed the inspiration of being in the dark and when you pray to God, His light calms everything.

What I liked: I liked the the religious theme of the poetry and the seeking and finding God, when it seems hopeless.

Favorite lines: These four lines say it all, seek and you shall find!

I intoned
God’s Most Great Name,
in that moment
dawn’s bright rays
warmed my trembling soul

Summary: A lovely, inspirational poem that reminds us to seek and find God when we can't find our way out of darkness.

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6
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Kings, Summerwind here reviewing your lyrics My Sweetest Thoughts.

 
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Lyrics: My Sweetest Thoughts Open in new Window. (E)
Lyrics I wrote about my wife Betty Jo, 39 years ago. I still call her Frecks.
#129606 by Kings Author IconMail Icon


Title: The title is what drew me in it was mysterious and I wanted to know what are your sweetest thoughts.

Over all impression: The lyrics flow well and they definitely have a musical lilt to them. Your rhyming is spot on.
I love your vivid color imagery in your lyrics of your wife. The song is delightful and reading it I could tell how much you loved your wife when you first saw her and still do. I also like the old fashioned way you expressed yourself, instead of some of the cookie cutter way the new writers write lyrics.

Favorite lines:
My sweetest thoughts are of my wife Frecks,
Who won my heart with those angel specks.
Beautiful long red hair and Irish green eyes,
A ranging temper she can no longer disguise.


Summary: A delightful old fashioned love song with a great rhythm and vivid descriptive lyrics.


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Review of Longing  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello ViciousWords, Summerwind reviewing your free style prose Longing.

 Longing Open in new Window. (E)
Longing to be seen as something more in the eyes of others...
#2004360 by ViciousWords Author IconMail Icon


Title: The title says it all, but it doesn't say what you are longing for, so it leaves the reader wondering what its about.

Over all impression: Wow! This free style poetry cam across to me as a declaration, bold with authority behind every word written screaming to be taken seriously. I hear an inner voice inside the writer expressing feelings of how they want things in life associated with relationships to be in this poetry.

Favorite lines;

Longing to be seen...
...as a natural normal human being.

Summary: Strong declaration of how the author feels about life concerning things related to relationships
I enjoyed this unique bold demonstration of free style poetry.

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Review of I'm a Survivor  Open in new Window.
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Rated: 13+ | N/A (Unratable.)
Hello cmfountain, Summer Wind here reviewing your writing I am a Survivor.

 I'm a Survivor Open in new Window. (13+)
Another blog entry inspired by Robin Williams
#2004417 by cmfountain Author IconMail Icon


Title: The title really suits your blog entry, it stand on its own.

Over all impression: After reading your blog entry, I realized that I'm suffering from some of the same symptoms that you are describing. I have never attempted suicide like you have, but the thoughts have been there. I have been fighting death one threatening illness for eighteen years, and now I have another one Cancer. Once quite popular and out going with many friends. Then when illness struck, I was abandoned and have spent so much time in isolation with terrible thoughts of depression running constantly through my mind. So I can relate to your feelings very well. I have a wonderful husband who has stayed by my side through thick and thin. But unfortunately we both have been shunned by people we thought were friends when I became sick. What has kept me going inspite of everything, is my faith in God. Some how it keeps me from taking the way out Robin Williams did. Probably a fear of going to hell for taking my life. Anyhow that's what I was taught. I have experienced years of pain and suffering both physical and mental none stop and I'm still here. It must mean I'm a survivor too!

Summary: Thank you for writing your entry, it made me realize that inspite of everything God has had His hand on me and kept me strong some how.

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Review of A Positive Rhythm  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Tim Chiu, Summerwind here reviewing your poetry A Positive Rhythm.

 A Positive Rhythm Open in new Window. (E)
A poem about the mental side of sports: positive rhythm and positive thinking.
#2003558 by Tim Chiu Author IconMail Icon


Title: I think the title is very appropriate for the poem style

Over all impression: Positively speaking, my first impression of your poem is the musical rhythm that flowed through out your whole poem. It made me stop and think about what you were saying, about positive thinking can over come any negativity, if you persist with mental toughness and determination.

What I liked: I liked the style of the poem, it almost rolls off your tongue as you speak it out loud. It definitely has a musical lilt to it and even though it is quite sophisticated it has originality.

This is only my opinion, what I received from the author's poetry and my perspective of what it means to me.

Favorite lines:
So gear up with juices flowing
And go forth with a saavy wit;
For positive thinking is knowing
There's value in showing grit.

Summary: A well written unique sophisticated style poem, with rhythm and a musical lilt.

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Review of My Chains  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Survivor, Summerwind here, to review you poetry my Chains. My reviews are from my perspective and are meant only as my opinions, to help and not offend the author.

 My Chains Open in new Window. (E)
A free verse poem.
#2003373 by Survivor48 Author IconMail Icon


Title: I found the title to be very appropriate, and draw the reader in, wanting to know about My Chains.

Over all impression: Strong imagery shown by word choices depicting the writer to be involved in a battle of life and emotions. This kind of poetry makes the reader look at themselves and ask what challenges do I have that imprison me? And can I over come them. In my case it's health issues, so I can relate well to the demons the writer has to deal with.

What I liked:

The writer got right to the point they shared their emotions and conflict that they are battling in just a few words, but so well written.

Favorite Lines:

In order to win my freedom,
I must battle my own demons.

Once I win the war against my flaws,
I can defeat all the challenges of life.

Summary:

A short well written piece of poetry, showing imagery and raw emotions of a battle of overcoming the challenges of life.

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11
11
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Lynda, Summerwind reviewing your history story of Flash Lights of the World

 
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Flashlights of the World Open in new Window. (E)
Recounting how Lighthouses began
#1966385 by Lynda Miller Author IconMail Icon


Title

: I found the title to be very interesting and draw the reader in to know about the flash lights of the world.

Over all impressions:

What an interesting and educational story on the history of the light houses. You opened my eyes to information I never even thought about. I would see light houses on calendars or paintings, and never think much more about them, other than I know they shed light for ships or people in boats that were in trouble on water.

What I liked:

I liked the way you told history of the lighthouse from the first earliest one in 250 B.C in Alexandria, to the one in the year of 1700. How you described the steps that were involved in maintaining the lighthouses and the jobs of the care takers or the families that lived in them. I learned a lot that I never knew before, and I found it to be very informative. You used very descriptive wording and I could actually see the light houses in my mind.

Summary:

A very educational and well written story about the history and the caring of Light houses.

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12
12
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello Ben Garrick, Summerwind reviewing your poetry Death of a Thousand Cuts.

 Death Of A Thousand Cuts Open in new Window. (13+)
Thoughts on love, in the briefest possible form (vers libre)
#1700437 by Ben Garrick Author IconMail Icon


Title:

The title is what made me want read more, I wanted to find out about death of a thousand cuts.

Over all impression: In just five short lines. the author has managed to give the reader the imagery of falling in love, feeling the stress from disagreements between two lovers, and the final pain and death of love with separation.

What I liked:

I liked how you could express your view of love in your poetry with such few words. Yet with vivid word imagery. Although the lines were short, they were profound and projected emotional pain right to the point.

Summary: A profound piece of poetry, well written with emotional imagery of the stages of a fallen love.

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13
13
Review of Greed  Open in new Window.
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Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hello John Miller, Summerwind here reviewing your short story Greed.

 Invalid Item Open in new Window.
This item number is not valid.
#1997067 by Not Available.


Title: Greed, Excellent! Right to the point, to draw the reader in.

Over all impression:

My first impression of your writing, is you drew me in and captivated me. I wanted more. This reads like a cliff hanger, only it's the beginning of the story instead of the end. It excites, entices and you lead the reader into a wilderness of wonderment. What, who why? You tease with little bits of information, such as you tell it's about a battle and a few of the characters, but not enough to spoil what's coming next in the story. These three lines are the key to wanting more of the story! It never stops with him. Now at last, he is about to kick the bucket. When he goes, everything is mine."

What I liked:

I like the justice that was rendered to Christi her brother and her mother, being left penniless after abusing their father, David River's money. The story was written with suspense and originality and the twist in the end where the father's body was on a rocket with all the gold, he received for exchanging all the cars, jewels, etc.was a real shocker.

Summary: A very well written story, that I enjoyed and couldn't stop reading until the end. Also the ending was the icing on the cake, it was such a surprise!

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Review of The ____  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Jean Aunry, Summerwind here reviewing your poetry by random choice. I review on what I receive on how your work effects me after I read it.

 The ____ Open in new Window. (E)
A little poem I wrote about communication.
#1996894 by Jean Aunry Author IconMail Icon


Title: I'm not sure what to make of the title, it could be anything, as it it is, it's a mystery, which entices the reader.

Overall impression: I thought this poem to be quite original in the way the author expresses themselves about words that slip out and can cause havoc. The author has used sound and emotion to demonstrate the energy that is released when words that hurt enter into the atmosphere.and what effects they can leave behind.

What I liked: I liked these lines, because of the comparison of how words can linger and make a person's sanity feel they are hunted and attacked being bombarded by hurtful words.

the bonds that were destroyed by sounds
where minds felt like they were hunted by hounds
unintentional slip of sanity
followed by episodes of vanity


Summary: A very original poem about the effects of wrongly spoken words that can cause pain, separation, and attack someone's sanity.

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Review of An Hourglass  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello. Conniann, Summerwind here reviewing your poetry by random pick. My reviews are based on what I perceive from your writing, not technical.

 An Hourglass Open in new Window. (E)
For meditation.
#1530846 by An apple a day.... Author IconMail Icon


Title: I found the title to be very interesting, pulling the reader into wanting to read your poem.

Overall Impression: A very unique perspective of taking on personification and representing yourself as an hourglass.in your poetry. Also very visual, I can see in your writing sand pouring through a head and settling and as time changes the sands are released as the hours change from day to night and being released. I think I see it metaphorically as heavy thoughts that press on a mind like sand and release as you relax at night and fall asleep.

What I liked:.These three lines show a lot of imagery in the poem.

At nightfall, the sand leaves through my toes,
The grains of sand disconnect.
I am lightened and will sleep.

Summary: A very unique piece of poetry using personification to represent the author as an hourglass.
I enjoyed reading this delightful short poem.

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Review of Catalyst - 8-5-10  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi CJHanna84, Summerwind here reviewing your free style poetry by random choice.

 Catalyst - 8-5-10 Open in new Window. (E)
Sometimes we walk thru life wishing & waiting. We wish for the past & wait for the future
#1974504 by CJHanna84 Author IconMail Icon


Title: A thought provoking title, that can be applied to almost anything!

Overall opinion: I found the author's statements in the writing to be very profound. Each line I read made me face my own thoughts on how I saw myself in the same situation the poem talks about. Never being content with now, looking back and longing for what could have been in the past. Or waiting for something to come and change my situation while I sit passively by. I think there is a lot of truth in what this poem states, that we all can reflect on.

What I liked: I think these lines give us a lot to think about.

Maybe I should be my own catalyst

Maybe I should be my change

Or forever fear the perpetual purgatory of the now.

Summary: A very well written profound piece of poetry with statements of truth throughout it.
Makes the reader stop think and reflect on their own life. I loved reading it!


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17
17
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Egg Man.Summer Wind here reviewing your poem by random choice. I review on what I perceive personally from your poetry how it makes me feel and think.

 A moment of Weakness Open in new Window. (E)
A lonely poem
#1991351 by Charles Tyler Author IconMail Icon


Title: I liked the title, it said just enough to draw the reader in.

Over all impression: What a unique piece of poetry, I felt like I entered into your mind for a moment and got past the mask that each us wear in our every day life. It made me think of how many times I rode the subway train in Toronto, and sat next to people with faces of worry, smiles, or just blank stares looking at nothing.and wondered what is going on in their lives beyond their expressions.

What I liked: I thought the poem was thought provoking, and made me look into my own thoughts that I think. I also thought it was quite original in it's presentation and form. Favorite lines:

Back to silence and slow obligation
I sit at a train, and wait on a station.

These lines represent to me after a moment of drifting thoughts, it's back to reality.

Summary: Unique style of poem. Made me think back to when I rode the subway and all those nameless, different faces I sat watched. Thought provoking piece of poetry, with an original twist.

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18
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In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Trisha, Summer Wind here reviewing your poetry by random choice. I review on the perspective of what I receive emotionally and the imagery of your writing..

 Free Write Night  Open in new Window. (E)
Just a free write tonight :)
#1991308 by Trisha Roberts Author IconMail Icon


Title: If Why is your title of your poem, you should change it from Free Write Night, because as it is doesn't relate to what you wrote, in my humble opinion of course

Over all Impression: I thought the poem to be written with real genuine concern of a someone who is questioning what's happening to the youth of today.A poem written with a straight forward message and emotionally projecting the writer's fear of the next generation.

What I liked: I enjoyed the simplicity of the how the writer questioned and stated her fears. It was short and to the point. It didn't get into tedious long lines that can be become boring. The writer said what they wanted to say and that was it. Favorite lines:

Call me old fashion,
or just call me a concerning mom,
but society is getting so out of hand
what has really begun?


Summary: A poem written questioning the youth of today and fearing for the next generation of tomorrow.
Straight forward with no frills, just heart wrenching concern. Short and strait to the point. Well written!

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Review of Serenity  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello, Ducttape Knight, Summerwind here reviewing your poetry by random choice. I review on what I perceive from your wringing.

 Serenity Open in new Window. (E)
Where I find my peace
#1695091 by Ducttape Knight Author IconMail Icon


Title: The title is excellent in my opinion.

First impression: I find this poem to be written as a free style personal declaration of what serenity can be, at least in this poem. I found the poem to be profound, yet simplistic. Talking about nature the wind and trees, water and how it can represent life with serenity.

What I liked: I liked the repetition of the word Serenity, to reinforce the poem in it's form and flow. Also I thought the writer showed some vivid imagery in these lines.

the way the wind rustles through the trees of the distant shore
of static noise
the heat of the sun as it shines down
bringing color to my otherwise pale skin and life

Summary: A profound poem, yet simplistic, showing nature as a great part of serenity.
Well written and quite creative and original. Well worth of a 5 rating!

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20
Review of Giving Up  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Taryn, Summerwind here, reviewing your poetry by random choice. I review from the perspective of what I personally get from reading your work.

 Giving Up Open in new Window. (E)
A poem about the reoccurring hurt of relationships and giving up on finding true love.
#1741739 by TarynSloane ~ Writing Author IconMail Icon


Title: The title is excellent, jarring the reader to want to read what the poem is about.

First impression: Your writing makes me think how many people have felt like they wear the same shoes? And have gone down the same path feeling the hurt, pain and rejection of love and life against them. In this day and age, it seems harder and harder to find the pie in the sky of happiness. People in a lot of relationship's values have changed, making them less committed and they use each other like Kleenex tissues and throw each other away for something they think is new or fresh, only to find out it's the same pain again.

What I liked: Well, it was a an eye opener, in the way we think we are different, when in fact we are all very much the same, having to face the trials and tribulations of life! These are my favorite lines: This shows the cycle of life, all though it introduces the poem, it could also end the poem.

For the life of me I can’t explain
why I continue to go through the same pain.
I call myself avoiding this path
that always brings me to the same place,
But yet here I am again,

Summary: A very interesting, but sad piece of poetry, showing the trials and tribulations of relationships and life in general. Well written!

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21
21
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello John Locke, Summerwind here, reviewing your writing by random pick. I review from the perspective of what I receive from reading your article.

 The Pictures above the TV Open in new Window. (E)
Why do we have a fascination with keeping memories?
#1989062 by John Locke Author IconMail Icon


Title: The title in my opinion is excellent, it announces what the article is about, but leaves the details to the reader's imagination.

First impression: Well, John I had to read it a couple of times, because it opened a closed door in my mind and made me start to really think. It also made me go look at the pictures above and around my TV and ask the same questions you asked in your article, while I might add, taking me on a journey into the past.

What I liked: I liked you originality and clever way you wrote the article, making the reader think and question why do we have pictures above or around our TV"s and what do they make you feel, remember and see now.and in the past.

Summary: A very clever interesting article, making the reader think about something they probably would have never thought about on their own. Well written!

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22
Review of Halloween Costume  Open in new Window.
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Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Prosperous Snow, Summerwind here reviewing your poem by random pick.

 Halloween Costume Open in new Window. (13+)
A frightening apparition
#1898894 by Prosperous Snow celebrating Author IconMail Icon


Title: The title raises just enough curiosity, without giving too much away.

First Impression: I have to say, you created quite a fantasy visual of someone caught in a desperate situation. You could feel the emotion of fear as the character tried to remove the mask and it wouldn't budge.

What I liked: I enjoyed the reading the whole poem, but your humorous ending, was the icing on the cake. These clever last two lines:

I put on a t-shirt that read:
I am a politician!

Summary: A fun fantasy Halloween poem written with a clever humorous twist at the end.
I found It to very creative and original, and it gave me good laugh!

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23
23
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello, N.M. Barnes, Summerwind, here reviewing your poem picked by random, or was it?

First Impression: First I have to say thank you to, for writing a fantastic pray that reminds me of instead of complaining about things in my life, I should be thankful. You remind the reader about the blue print God has set forth for each of us and not to take things for granted but to be thankful in everything, for that is the will of God.

What I liked: I loved the whole prayer, it made me humble myself and realize again, who keeps watch over me and I'am not alone, even as I personally fight illness and loneliness, whatever, God is in complete charge of my life and I should trust Him by thanking Him showing I believe who He is.

Suggestions: How can you improve on a Holy Spirit inspired prayer? In my opinion you can't.


Favorite Part: These lines are my favorite, although not in order
:
Most gracious and loving God, I come before you to simply say, “Thank You.”
Thank you for allowing me to see this day. A brand new day that I’ve never seen before.
Thank you for being a beacon of light during my darkest times.
Thank you for giving me strength to live through each experience; good or bad.

Summary: A beautifully written Holy Spirit inspired prayer that made me remember just who God is.

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Review of Thirteen Kittens  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hello Carly, Summerwind reviewing your short story by random pick.

First Impression: The title is what drew me in, so I was eager to read your story. And what a story it was. I could identify with your story because I too had lost my Mimi just recently and along comes a stray pregnant cat a very similar situation to yours. But Mommy only had 4 babies and two of them died. To get back to your story, of course you kept my interest throughout the story wanting to know what would be the outcome of the pregnant cat.

What I liked: You wrote the story with such love and tenderness showing your heart for an animal in distress. Especially with the fact the you had just lost your own cat to Cancer. I have to admit, you touched me so deeply you brought tears to my eyes when you brought out your blow up water mattress, and slept next to the cat to watch over her so no harm would come to her. Then, the surprise, you wake up to a litter of thirteen kittens and introduce them to your husband as your new family.

Best Part: . I loved the whole story from beginning to end. But these ending lines were the icing on the cake!

“Well congratulations, little mama.” I said running my hand over her.

Then I heard a deep “What the hell” and before I could move, the door jerked open to reveal my husband.

“Hi honey, welcome to our new family.”

Suggestions: What could you possibly suggest to improve on a story straight from a loving heart! I have no idea about technical aspects of writing, such as grammar, so I'll leave that to someone else.

Summary: A very touching story written with a lot of love, that I personally could identify with.

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25
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Summerwind here, War Machine, I found your poem by random select and decided to review it. My reviews are not technical, just how it appeals to me from my perspective.

 the one thing that got away Open in new Window. (E)
the April fools prank that went wrong
#1984575 by Lula-Lady of the angels Author IconMail Icon


My impression: What a delicious bit of wicked humor in your poetry and what a surprise for the reader. Very cleverly written and I liked the way you set the reader up thinking it was your sister that was going to get the fall.

What I liked: I liked everything, from the first line, til the last. I laughed as I read it and it made my day.

Favorite part: These lines are the clincher for me!

i thought it was my sister but it was not
It was my MOM and with a splash
and splosh she screamed in fright
that's how my April fools day went wrong all right

Suggestions: None, I wouldn't change it all!
.

Summary: A delightfully funny poem of April Fools Day with a surprise ending.
Cleverly written!

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This is just my opinion to encourage the writer and not to offend. Suggestions that are offered, are that just suggestions and nothing more. The writer may use or discard at their own discretion.


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