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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/garlictonic
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8 Public Reviews Given
8 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of Kitty  Open in new Window.
Review by garlictonic Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
Oh, this is really cute! I was trying to imagine what this would look as an animated short as I was reading.

The plot is simple and heartwarming.

As a written piece though, I feel like the first few paragraphs were a bit lacking in description. How did Tony end up wandering into the house in the first place? Was the door left open? Or did he squeeze through a small opening or something?

All in all, this is pretty good! Just remember that in writing, you need to fill the readers in on what is happening as well. This is a bit of a cliche thing to say, I guess, but...more showing and less telling is generally good.

Keep on writing~!

-Garlic
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Review by garlictonic Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
I love how vivid and illustrative this is! The wonder portrayed in this is contagious. However, there's some spelling errors like "too" instead of "to" in the second line and a few of the lines flow a bit awkwardly in my opinion.

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