I've had a paper round myself, and I know how heavy and cumbersome the bags can be
Also being told you haven't got the experience your potential employers are looking for is common.
A poem of love not (yet) returned. There's a mixture of negative emotions ("Quickly my blue skies turn to grey
Watching your sight dwindle away"), passion ("You are my one dream only
You ignite the soul within me") and nature (As morning sun shines on the sea")
Very wise words of wisdom. It is a well known phrase, "money can't buy you happiness"
St Francis of Assisi (who is known for his love of animals, nature and the elements ("Sister Water and Brother Fire") gave all his worldly belongings away and lived in voluntary poverty. Gandhi was the same.
Yet they both were happy people.
"Happiness is surrounding yourself with those you love and who love you; who see each other's flaws and ignore them. Children, pets, flower gardens, poems, and the aromas of coffee brewing and bacon frying are but a few of the many "things" provided by our Creator, yet so many of us are blind to these gifts" - and having the curiosity of a child is another way to have happiness.
It is a well described love scene, and it's made more exciting by the fact that they had to get rid of the brother and sister in order to do what they wanted to do together. The aforementioned brother and sister seem to be accepting of the girl's sexual relationship
I would say thunder booms rather than screams - the wind on the other hand, isn't averse to screaming.
"Why is the sun praised
and the thunder feared?" - this gives you two visions, one of people sunning themselves on the beach, the other of people being frightened by the loud thunder.
If you've ever watched The Sound of Music, there is a scene where the Von Trapp family children are all scared of the thunder and lightning, not just the girls, but the boys as well.
Great descriptive poem, about someone who isn't scared of thunderstorms and has an affinity with them
Good start to a novel - you conveyed the terror that the servant felt when he cowered in fear at his evil master's feet.
The last line has you wondering what will happen next
Fascinating, how it's written by someone who is Catholic looking through the eyes of someone of a different religion. There is a lot of controversy over the burqa, mostly because you can't see the person underneath or their facial expression.
'Isn't it great to be alive?' - very positive line.
When you say "poor kids", are they quite literally poor, as coming from penniless and destitute families, or the other sort of poor?
Lovely poem, shame the purple flower died at the end.
Just a couple of things I think need fixing -
'The purple flower sigh' - change to 'The purple flower sighed'
'Then the girl Picked the purple flower' - the word "Picked" should be lower case p
Great futuristic prose of someone trying to improve the look of their body and be more healthy.
One typo I noticed though - at the beginning, the character is called Savanna (two n's) but in the rest of the tale her name only has one 'n'.
Humans behave like that too sometimes. Alright when there's just a couple of them, then, feeling threatened by numbers, growing aggressive. It's probably the same for the birds.
'As I sit at my kitchen table,
perusing the morning newspaper' - your use of the word "perusal" makes a change from "reading"
Good stuff this
Good twist at the end. I was expecting John to die at some point and go to Hell. He is a selfish character. What were the other characters like?
'His father had controlling interest and head of a Billion dollar company' - change to 'His father had controlling interest and was head of a billion dollar company'.
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