For an unedited piece this was quiet good. There were just a few grammar mistakes, but if you reread it, you'll find it. I felt more as if this were mroe of Chapter One then a prologue. It just depends on where your taking the story. If you continue the story right after the prologue, I might suggest making it a chapter one instead. But if for some reason you continue it with the boy being older, then I would leave it. Just a thought. : ).
Ummmm....it was way to short. There wasn't much meat to the story, barely any action at all. You need to add some action to the story. Your characters seem pretty developed, but because there is no event or really any purpose to the story at all, there is no connection to the story. Maybe have something happen in the room? I could see like an Alice in Wonder Land type thing happening maybe. All we know is that there is a room with no door and an apple and a strange gentleman...there is so much you can do with this, so many places you can go to make it a success. Everything else is really good, you just need a good plot!
great start, keep writing
Summer
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