Hey there, it's been a while, any chance you will have more of the story soon? I'm dying to know what happens. The chapter was good, I had to read back to remember details of what was going on. This piece does lack description. I think if there was anything you could improve on, it would be that. The dialog is good.
I enjoyed your short story. There is a lot to be said about loving your best friend. It's the best kind of love, innocent, everlasting, real. I loved how he was there for her to figure out what he already knew even though it broke his heart every day to watch her with someone else.
Quite humorous actually. I had to laugh. I felt he got what he deserved. Not really but it was kind of ironic considering what he was thinking. I'm not sure what to look for in flash fiction but I liked what you wrote. It hooked me quickly, kept my attention, suspenseful, and quick to the point.
I loved your letter. I think it's a great way to boost your confidence. For myself, as a beginner in writing you've given me ideas to better my own writing. I've found it is so hard to let your work get out there for others to pick apart and it's nice to see that others have a genuine desire to help others improve as you do. I wish you all the luck with your writing. You definitely have a talent for it and thanks for your honesty in helping me with my own.
You've done a good job with this short story. Right off in the first sentence you created a strong hook. Good descriptions and setting visualizations as well as the character development. I could feel her fear and how terrified she was when she called out only to not be heard by the ones who were supposed to protect her. I was proud of her for acting quickly.
Interesting poem. I don't write poetry and sometimes have a hard time understanding it, but from a readers perspective I liked it. It portrayed to me a man who found his homeless father. While the dad was happy just to see his son, his son had felt bad that he hadn't come and helped him sooner.
I'm having a bit of a hard time following the story. Still not sure who the different characters are and what their significance is in this story. You do well describing the scenes, I just haven't connected very well, with the characters. They seem a bit two demensionable. Over all I think this will be a good story with a little work.
I noticed the names are very similar which was a little bit confusing to keep the characters straight but it is still early on in the story. The writing is good and so is the descriptions. I am interested in how this story will play out and plan on continuing to read.
I have to say I'm curious ss to where this story will go. You've set up for an interesting plot. Your writing ia good and was easy to read considering it appears to resemble scriptures . I couldn't see any grammatical or puntuation errors. I will keep reading.
This was a very interesting read. It took me a while to get into it but by the end of this chapter I was hooked. I felt it was a bit slow in the beginning getting started with the descriptions and I'm having a hard time visualizing the character and scenes. The storyline is unique and for the most part enjoyed it. I will keep reading.
I loved the story, please tell me there is more. I think there are some areas to refine that could use more vivid descriptions and maybe a few miss spelled words. The dialogue was good. I am just left to wonder now what happens next .you've done a good job, suspenseful.
And again, I'm thoroughly enjoying the story. Ive connected well with the characters. The dialoge flows naturally. I did notice a few spelling errors and when Jennifer and Blake were shopping he was referred to as Jake instead of Blake. Keep up the good writing
Getting more interesting! I am definitely hooked and moving on to the next chapters. The writing is engaging and had me smiling to myself a few times anticipating Jennifer and Blake's responses to each other. The characters are developing well and so is the scene setting. Good job
I really enjoyed the story so far. It moves at a fairly good pace and the plot is interesting and kept me wanting to read on. I could visualize the characters well and thought their dialoge sounded real, like they communicated together. One thing that I felt could be worked on was setting the scenes. Fun story, I will keep reading.
Again, you've done a good job. I continue to be interested in the story, you have me hooked and can't wait to find out what happens. I hope for his sake, she meets him for this getaway. You did a good job with describing the setting this time, I felt like I was standing in the room as well. Keep up the good work.
A good read. I liked this story. You captured my attention fairly quickly and felt the emotional strain the character felt. I did have a hard time getting a feel for the settings and picturing the main character. I assume it's a man but I have no idea what he looks like. I can't picture him. For the most part, I liked it and will keep reading.
Still enjoying the story. Well written with your discriptions and you've kept me interested and wondering what comes next. It is still a bit slow, but you make up for it with your style of creativeness and intrigue. You've got me hooked. Let me know when you have the next chapters out.
Loved it! Having known a few grumpy old men myself I'd say you described them perfectly. I think its their thick calloused skin that protects their inner sensitivity and kindness, something very few are privileged to see. They see the world how it is and aren't afraid to remove the blinders so many others hide behind.
I am reviewing this from a readers perspective because I don't write poetry but I liked it. I got the feeling that the lost innocence wasn't consentual but mabe I'm reading into it too much. But the poem does envoke emotion and a feeling of healing and forgiveness
I enjoyed this first chapter of this story very much. You have a very nice writing style. Very descriptive of the scenes and the characters. I didn't see any gramatical errors. Sentence and paragraph structure flowed nicely. I felt that it did seem to move a bit slow though and not very much dialoge but for the most part I loved it. I would continue to read this.
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