*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/dbarr
Review Requests: OFF
5 Public Reviews Given
6 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of Dreamweaver  
Review by Not Quite Write
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
WOW Melissa great job! God sure packed a lot of talent into you at such a young age. Your writing is superb!

Some grammatical and typo errors (very minor) that may help you polish the a sentence or two in chapter one (if you desire)
The force of the waves soon pulled - my - under the surface. - my – (typo) should be me
"But my lungs were not filled with a rushing liquid death, instead my aching body was rewarded with much-needed air" is a complex sentence. With just the comma, it is a comma splice.

I am intrigued by the line: "not a living person but a beautiful figurehead on some invisible ship, cutting through the sea of mist."
Also, "She looked as familiar as a dear friend, yet as strange and foreign as an unexplored planet." is another enchanting sentence!

You have tremendous character insight; the dream is a totally awesome, and I can't wait to see how the rest of the story develops. Write On!
1 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 1 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/dbarr