\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/darthrabie
Review Requests: OFF
8 Public Reviews Given
8 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of It's Too Late  Open in new Window.
Review by darthrabie Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Nice. This piece had a great hook and a wonderful ending. It seems you did some research on the science behind the story. I really enjoyed it and look forward to reading more of your work.
2
2
Review of Thomas' Pain  Open in new Window.
Review by darthrabie Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Well done.

You hooked me with the humanization of the bird and then satisfied my desire for the story to not end unrealistically.

I have always been a sucker for the "Twain" method of writing diolouge and you did a wonderful job of capturing the voices of the farmers.

I have nothing negative to say about this piece.

Well done.
3
3
Review by darthrabie Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
I like the flow of this piece. Reading iambic is always a treat and one that does not happen often.

I dislike the contradictions in the final stanza, (how you divide the soul and the brain and reduce the brain in relationship to other parts of the writers body)and disagree with much of what this poem tells the reader. That is clearly a personal opinion, one that would be more expressed in a conversation thread instead of a critique.

The piece made me think and that is, in my opinion, all that writers want to do. So good
4
4
Review of Cup or Cone?  Open in new Window.
Review by darthrabie Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Great. I felt the elation of getting the honored ice cream man job, and I also felt the creepy feelings that you had when you realized that you are so close to being a pedophile.

Stylistically, this piece flowed smoothly and was a pleasure to read.

Keep it up!
5
5
Review of The Spare Time  Open in new Window.
Review by darthrabie Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (2.5)
Free form poetry is always a difficult beast to write and to read. Others may find the inspiration that this poem provides and run with it, I got stuck on the stalagmite reference immediately as stalagmites are found in caves and it would be very hard to fall onto one from a cliff.

I do not say this to be negative, or perhaps it is as I am sure there is part of your soul here, but to say that making an allusion to an impossibility takes me out of the context of the poem.

I look forward to reading more of your work Norman.
6
6
Review by darthrabie Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Positive. Is there anything else to say about this peice? I would love to ramble on and try to capture the emotion that you have displayed but it would pale in comparasin. Instead I will say that the message you struggle with is simply put, be positive.

On a stylistic note, as if I am qualified for this critique, the peice does not flow tegether as neatly as it could. The delema of the darken alley never finds resolution. After reading this I am left wondering if the darkened alley is a force that can not be pushed or passed, or is it something that this very peice is working through.

Perhaps another pass with your eyes to tie up that string would make the peice complete.

Still,I love that positivity.
6 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 1 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/darthrabie