This is a very nice piece that pays homage to a happy place. The use of language is very creative. You may want to break up the first stanza and include the name of the place (in the body of the piece), which may also lend itself to enrich it even more. Keep on writing.
This is a nice prelude to what's to come in the story (having read Chaper 3). Good technique in slipping in a hint as to vampires for Rei to watchout for in her new neck of the woods. You may want to use a dream as a platform for Chapeter 2 and as a way to further introduce the vampire angle and Rei's feelings about it. Keep on writing it. Look forward to more.
Holden, this is a fitting tribute to current events in Egypt. The piece is very creatively subtle in the way it makes a profound statement. Keep on writing. Just heads up on the diff between "their" and "there". G.
Hi Grant. This is a fun and creative way to introduce what has the makings of an epic poem. I encourage you to keep builing your adventure thrugh this piece. The subtitle to the piece alone caught my attention. Start naming names and places. I look forward to see who sings up for the adventure ... Keep on writing. G.
This is very good creative writing. As a reader, I was quickly engaged and looking foward to what the end of the chase would bring to the story. I know this is part of a bigger piece; however, for future postings you may want to include character names, so that readers can connect to them and the story more quickly. As saturated as the book shelfs are with this genre (lately), I find your vampire tail interesting and funny. I particularly liked the dialogue. Keep it coming. It has the makings of an intriguing and funny story.
This is a fine piece about finding the courage to let go of the past or a bad situatioin and perhaps taking a leap of faith to start anew. (Just be careful with your pronouns its and their). No grammar lesson intended, just a pointer to make the piece even better. Keep on writing ...
What an interesting apprach to history! It was the subtitle to the piece that caught my attention. And it didn't disappoint. Long live the revolution of words ...
This is a very inspiring piece. It seems to speak to everyone about life's struggles but mostly about the idea that hope does reign eternal. The inevitability of the end is best embraced by the knowldege that one has touched many lives and impacted them for the better. What a way to go and to be remembered. Keep on writing ...
This is very nice. It conveys a plethora of meanings. Hence, its title sort of hints at a piece of writing that the reader might expect to be (much) longer. Perhaps, this is the foundation of a much larger project. It hints to want to speak to a variety of meanings behind an "empty nest." Nice start. Keep on writing.
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