This felt striking in a way. How it kept switching focus captured the feel of this kind of mental illness perfectly, and a part of me was driven to a sort of...emotional reaction with it. Good on you, author, not a lot of people have managed to do that, given how much online stories I read so frequently.
Okay, this one got a chuckle out of me. A fairly decent short story, and a sweet one at that. Good on you, you seem to have a plethora of short stories under your belt and they're all decently written. Unfortunately I think writing them so quickly might sacrifice quality a little bit. If that's not a bother to you then that's fine, but I wonder what your potential could really climb to if you took a while longer and focus on some kind of development or try to use this funny twist and use it for something striking, like a 200 word horror story or even just two sentences. I believe you have that potential.
This was a sadly sweet story, with a solid use of symbolism even if slightly obvious with the term "raven-haired". I believe that's fine, however, as perhaps the symbolism would have been lost otherwise.
I felt the emotions of this woman, and these three women almost appear spiritual in a way, and seem to be a symbol of comfort despite being said to be Greek, where ravens are said to be bad luck. If this was purposeful then good on you, I really felt that comfort.
The lack of an ending where she leaves or begins to recover makes me yearn to know what happened to her. I hope I can find something in your portfolio that helps me figure this out.
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/cryptidpyres
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.07 seconds at 7:32am on Nov 23, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
