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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/coffeepaw
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23 Public Reviews Given
198 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review by Coffeepaw Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Precise and descriptive.

I really like how you show different emotions in their physical manifestations. I bet most readers (definitely myself) have experienced some or all of these - both emotions and their signs.

Breaking it down the way you have sets it up nicely. I particularly like the coda part, and titling it Coda - very fitting.

Great poem! Thank you for sharing it and keep on writing!

Happy New Year!
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Review by Coffeepaw Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Blast it! I had to go Google your terms to make sure aimer meant "to love" and je t'aime meant "I love you."

The way your poem is written made me suspect it, but being a perfectionist (sometimes), I had to check.

Visually, I cued in on the italicized words as being a foreign language, so the phrase "there is nothing more to be said" being italicized makes me wonder if that thought is a foreign idea. Then the last stanza reinforces that suspicion by the narrator speaking anyhow.

Thank you for sharing this.



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Review by Coffeepaw Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
I like how the first 8 lines have one type of feeling - kind of regretful and sad and maudlin, followed up with the last 4 lines which strike as a harsh reality.

Nice touch with going from rhyming each pair of lines until you get to "Now left to pick up the pieces of my life" - after that, everything is unrhymed, kind of like how puzzle pieces do not match up when dumped on the floor.

Keep on writing!
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4
Review of Unreal  Open in new Window.
Review by Coffeepaw Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Excellent use of imagery, especially the recurring bit about the flowers.

Speaking of which, the initial refrain of "Are all flowers beautiful," threw me for a loop, because flowers are not the image I had in mind while reading the first stanza. I can't quite articulate exactly WHAT image I had, but I know it didn't involve flowers.

The meaning I draw from the poem is the question, "why do we symbolize something we hope to be undying (love) with something that dies (flowers)." I like it. Lots.

The only issue I see is that the second refrain reads "But are all flowers are beautiful?" I suspect that second "are" is superfluous.

Keep writing!
5
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Review by Coffeepaw Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
The flight 37 story always chokes me up.

Even your version got me a bit.

Every time I see the character name Clycops I pronounce it mentally as Cyclops. Its a small thing, but it happens every time.

Still reading, though.
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Review by Coffeepaw Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Interesting retelling of events. I particularly enjoy the set up, and the noticeable changes in terms can easily be explained by 2000+ years of change.

That said, some of the sentence structure was noticeably... off. Commas, mostly. Not enough to detract from the story, but enough that anal retentive sorts (like myself) do see them.

Other than that, so far, so good.

Off to read the rest of your story.
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