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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/ccervin
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14 Public Reviews Given
14 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review by ccervin Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
I don't like most poems about military, army, etc. Due to them usually being too political. But I really enjoyed your poem. Your poem flows well and I like the rhyme you used. I also like that certain words, and the words you chose, are high lighted. I wouldn't change a thing.
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Review by ccervin Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
I was pleasantly surprised by your poem, considering it said it was cowboy poetry. I really like how your poem told a story, and how the rhyme pattern switched back and forth instead of all being the same. Definitely worth the 5 stars! I look forward to reading more of your work.
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Review of No?  Open in new Window.
Review by ccervin Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
I like the general message of your poem. I like that there i8s rhyme, as it usually helps a poem flow better. They only thing I'd do different, is change how the rhyme is random, it makes for a hard read.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
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Review of Always  Open in new Window.
Review by ccervin Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
Good poem. I really like the emphasises in the very beginnine and very end....the, 'I miss you', etc. The middle needs to flow a little more like the rest of this poem to make it a good read. I also think that if you expressed more detail, the poem would 'hit' harder. Other wise, good job. I am happy to see that you did not try to cram a rhyme into the poem.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
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Review of Dear Dreamer  Open in new Window.
Review by ccervin Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
I really enjoyed your poem. I completely agree with you, people seem too afraid or lazy to chase after their dreams. I am really scared to see how the current generation is actually going to take on life. I only scored your poem a 4.5 instead of a 5 because of some grammatical errors. Other wise you would have gotten 5 stars.
In the title: 'slowing becoming to' should read 'slowly becoming too'

Also, 'shine across the heavens' should read 'shining across the heavens'

I really like your analogy of the 'Taste' of life, being sugar, reach your tongue out and taste it'. I look farward to reading more of your work


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
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Review by ccervin Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Great poem! I like thew rhyme you used through out, and appreciate reading a poem that has rhyming but not too much. The idea of the comparison of the stormy skies and you and your partner wasa great idea. I really like the comparison of water on glass, and sweat on your skin. I look forward to reading more of your work.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
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Review of White Tornadoes  Open in new Window.
Review by ccervin Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Great title for your conversation/story. I did not really see any grammatical errors. Although I like the idea in which you to,d the story by a conversation, it is hard to feel how intense the situation is. You need some more describing words to "put the reader in place". Other wise, great job.
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Review of Tears In Rain  Open in new Window.
Review by ccervin Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Great poem about rain and the sadness it brings. Unfortunately, rain does bring sorrow, sadness, etc. for many people.....especially those who have depression. I like he end rhymes you have through out.
, ,I only found two mistakes. In the 2nd line, can't should be can not- so readers get more of that negative/sad sense you are trying to show. Also, in line 5, after the word "face" there should be a coma. Only other thing I would change is trying to bring out more of the sad feeling through some more details.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
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Review by ccervin Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
I see no grammatical or punctuation errors in your poem. Thank you for writing about the fact that every country has men who seek peace, and every nation has bigots, zealots, and fools. I hate seeing things about how only one country or nation or just a couple, are the cause for war. I really appreciate that you covered so much in your poem, but with out "God" or religion


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
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Review of Sweet Love  Open in new Window.
Review by ccervin Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
I really enjoyed your poem. It was short, sweet, and to the point. The repeating first and third lines of each stanza helps the poem flow well. I like the touch of the repeating second line in each stanza, "in a special way". The only things I would do to your poem is; fix the It's is, in stanza two, to: It's OR It is. And maybe make it a little longer or descriptive. Make more of a "magical feeling". Other wise, great poem.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
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Review of Broken  Open in new Window.
Review by ccervin Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Great poem. You did a good thing with numbering the different paragraphs/stanzas of each section. Helped me to know that you wanted the readers to really understand all aspects of the poem, and the depth of each thought and feeling. There is nothing I would do to this poem. I look forward to reading more of your work.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
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Review by ccervin Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
I really enjoyed reading your article about Ayurveda. You did a good job explaining what it has to do with your body, mind, and spirit. I like that you not only mentioned the body types, but explained each one of them in great detail. The only thing I want to know more of, is how to practice Ayurveda.....how to get in touch with all parts of your Mind, body, and spirit with Dosha. I like that you mentioned personal experience, but didn't go over board. Although I would like to know how long it took you to get in touch through Dosha.

I did find a couple of errors. In the 3rd paragraph: It offers natural ways in treating disease, its prevention, and to promote good health and longevity- should read: It offers natural ways in preventing and treating disease, and it promotes good health and longevity.
In the 4th paragraph: whereas should be where as.
In the Kapha paragraph: Dosha are muscle, skeletal system including the body frame, should be: Kapha Dosha are your muscle and skeletal system, including the body frame.
Kapha paragraph: Have clear lungs and free of congestion and allergies, should be: Have clear lungs and are free of congestion and allergies.

The only other thing I would change is to indent the beginning of the new paragraphs, or skip a line between the end of one paragraph and beginning of the next. It will help people to read the article and seperate the details better.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
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