First of, I agree with the wonderfulness of honesty. Sure, lying is great, but letting it all out is sometimes the best thing to do. I found this an interesting piece. Bullying is a terrible thing, especially at the young age you had to encounter it. I, myself, have a terrible memory, but I recall both being the bully and being bullied. It's intriguing how an individual can be both bullied and be a bullier. In any case, I was hoping for more at the end. How has it developed now? Anything new?
The intro seemed cliche. I felt it was the narration for a movie, which is good in one aspect, that a reader is imagining it and putting voice to text, but I feel I've heard it too many times. Is there some way to make "I'm always lying; to my friends, to my family, and even to myself" more original?
This could have gone in a dozen different ways, and I like how you went in this direction. Society is a constraint on everyone, and it's just crazy. "The Norm" has become necessity and their is so much judgement.
I think the inclusion of ellipses is an interesting stylistic addition. I feel that they provide a heavy pause, some time to soak in what is said.
I really like the brevity of this, as being a simple but thoughtful piece, but it could be expanded, I think. Examples could be included. Great piece.
Well this was truly a unique story. It makes it all the better with the interactiveness of it. I enjoyed partaking in it. I really enjoyed developing the characters; I do know that Ruby wasn't described in my chapter too much, but I'm sure there is time yet. I think I was only four chapters in before I got to dig in. Anyhow, I really find this witty and outrageous kind of story inspiring and entertaining. In High School, I often wrote such pieces. Now, I write more serious types, so this truly gives me a bit of nostalgia as well as relief. Great idea!
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