Heys... that was really good... I could feel your emotions... I'm glad you wrote it... I can so relate to this... My realationship right now feels almost exactly what you wrote of here... Thank you for writting this... It takes a ood writter to write about soemthing they don't know and make it sound good but it takes an exceptional writter to write about something you have experienced...
Britty
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WOW... Just wondering you don't have to tell me or anything but did this really happen??? Just curious... The only thing I can see wrong with this is your point of view.. At times you switch from her to you or from I to him... It's easy to do espcecially if you are writting this from a real life experience... The other is a few grammatical errors.. Other than that it is a really good piece... Thanks for writing it and sharing it...
Britty
that was awesome.. It didn't quite make sense till the very end... But you dd a goo djob of holding th interest and the suspence... lOTS of feeling which is good... I really liked it.. I think you did an AWESOME Job... the only thing I could tell you woudl be to make the ending alittle mre comprehendable... I mean it's good and I like it but I had to read it like 5 times before I finally figured it out.. It might be that I'm tired or wahteer but I think it's a good story.. Good job...
Britty
Heys... This is a wonderful piece, and I can relate to this because I get told almost those very words atleast once a week... I think you could add on to the end of this piece... It just has a hanging ending like there is somethign missing from the end but I can't figure out what... It's a really good piece and I realy enjoyed it... Thank you so much for writting it and I wish I could give you some advice on how to fix or whatever it but I think it's a really good piece...
Britty
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hey that's acutally really good... The begingin is alittle slow but it piucks u as you go on... It's reallyu good and I hope you finish it....Maybe you could recall more memoires or something,,, Its realy good thoguh...
Britty
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heys... this is really good but the only thing that gets real confusing and hard to follow is the cahnge of the point of view.. even in mid sentence you will switch from i to her describing the same person talking.. It gets really confusing... Other than that it's a really good story.. I enjoyed it... Thanks for writing it...
Britty
that's really good... it's very a broad poem but I can relate to it alot... It's rather good and I enjoyed it... It really shows the aspects of people in a weird way... Thank you for writing this piece and placing it on this site...
Britty
I think you could maybe elaborate alittle more on what happened to this person to make them want to end it all. You might have explained it but I just didn't get the jist... It was like one day he just decided to end it all... But it is really nicely written...
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