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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/bettsbfsp
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8 Public Reviews Given
23 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review by Betts Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Interesting. I haven't read the previous parts so I don't know if the hostages were important characters but I think you need a stronger conclusion that ties in the ultimate fate of the hostages (they are now alive and well while the search for Young goes on?, not just the street lamps.)

He couldn't be "senile" from Vietnam, since that means chronological age, although he could be "demented."
Betts
2
2
Review by Betts Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
A very, very cute story. One question: Is the reader supposed to know who "Kelly" is? Also the sentence "certainly not a dog as me and housebreaking a dog was a proven failure" could use a little editing, maybe "certainly not a dog, as housebreaking a dog was a proven failure for me."

Betts
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