\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/bethepoem
Review Requests: OFF
1 Public Reviews Given
2 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review by Brooke Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (2.5)
I'm delighted that I stumbled upon your work today. My name is Brooke and I'm here to review "A Philosopher Must Be a Critical Thinker" Open in new Window. If you don't mind, I'm just going to grab a cup of tea and settle down for a little reading and reviewing. *Reading* *TeaR*

*Bookopen* First Impressions *Bookopen* My first impression was that you took a lot of time to form your opinion on this matter and you hold it in high regard. I enjoy reading others' pieces where they are passionate about their subject and I know it impacts their own lives.

*CheckR* Likes *CheckR* The subject matter itself is something that I like. I'm glad to see critical thinking being brought to the table for a healthy discussion and for us to analyze our own minds.

*XR* Grammar/Spelling/Typos *XR*

In your "first rule" paragraph untilproven should be until proven. Just a minor typo.

"logical decisions in the following manner." should have a colon, not a period. Don't space this list and maybe add bullet points.

There's a typo in the first paragraph - " to be a philosopher "

There are a lot of places where it looks like you just didn't hit the space bar and the words are joined. I'd reread your essay carefully and be careful of that.

*Writing* Suggestions *Writing* I've always heard as a general rule not to start your essay with a quote. The reader would like to hear your words, not another's. Also, I personally saw Descartes' words as the idea to be open-minded and question all things, but that doesn't open your argument that a philosopher must be a critical thinker as well. In the introductory paragraph you want your thesis and lay a "road map" of key points you're going to expand on so your reader knows what to expect.

The line in your third paragraph should come earlier, in my opinion. You want to show readers that philosophy and critical thinking go hand in hand, so be sure they understand what those two definitions. Also, you want to make sure you introduce your quotes. Some people may not know who Descartes was, so his words won't carry the same weight.

Your thoughts are strong, but kind of hard to follow. Be careful of using past tense. This is an intimidating subject for many readers, so perhaps revising your voice to a more casual, less academic, one would make it easier to follow.

Another suggestion is to rearrange your paragraphs. Everyone writes and plans differently, so take this with a grain of salt, but making an outline before writing might make it easier to see where you're going and where you want to end up. I would start with the importance of critical thinking, what it means to be a critical thinker, the module you listed, and then the examples you started with. If I read the essay backwards I probably would have taken more from it.

*TeapotR* Conclusion *TeapotR* Overall, I think what you think of critical thinking itself and how you explained it was good, however the grammar, voice, and organization is distracting to your overall message. With a little revision I think you could have a powerful piece.

*Pencil* Things to Remember *Pencil* Ultimately, these are your words and your expression. My review is my opinion as one reader. Whether or not you choose to take it into consideration is your choice. If you do choose to revise your piece and would me to return to review and rate the item again, please feel free to email me and I will happily do so.

Until next time,
Brooke Author IconMail Icon
1 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 1 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/bethepoem