This was very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very good. Keep it up!
Your poem paces very well throughout the poem, good job!! You also do a great job with the imagery and emotions. I also like the repetition of - God please, stay right here, do not disappear. As it stands, I have no suggestions to further revise your poem, it seems like it is last draft.
The dialogue is crazy - Meant that in a good way.
Love the chosen vocabulary
Poetry to me has a lot to do with describing and you did a very good job exposing that in your writing.
Keep writing, this piece is very applaudable
Your words flow with ease as well
Hope you like the review.
Okay but I think it can be much better than what it is now.
For starters, your first sentence is to awkward, it needs to hook in the reader.
The taxi moved shark like - Find an alternative, shark like for the first sentence draws the readers out in my opinion.
The rest of the story was decent and it had a glint of suspense.
At the end, you should really build more dramatic tension than what you portrayed here.
Make his death more exciting to read,
When you read that part of the story, it just seems he gets killed and dies. Tension doesn't build up like it can.
Make him long to try to live, to pick a fight with the killer, for them to lock eyes, exposing their emotions better.
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