I really liked the direction this piece took. You successfully brought a new perspective as to what darkness is. The only thing I would recommend is dropping the first two lines of text. My attention wasn't grabbed until you got to your third line. Overall, great piece.
I understand this is how stress makes you feel and I want more detail from it. Try to keep the quick pace but push through, dig deep, and really tell the reader how stress makes you feel. In this poem it feels like the speaker is the white rabbit from Alice in Wonderland, in big parts because of the title, but it's not anything the author of Alice and Wonderland hasn't said. It's a great start, just dig a little deeper down the rabbit hole.
This is an absolutely beautiful poem. I'm a criminology major in school right now and you poem, to me, reflects some of the theories we have discussed surrounding the "american dream." I think it's a good reflection on how the world really works when it comes to life and careers and how nothing is as hunky dory as it seems in high school and college before you're forced to enter the real world.
I really enjoyed this piece!
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