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Review of The Chinese Box  Open in new Window.
Review by 333rd Legend Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
I really enjoyed this, it was pleasure to the imaginitive senses that got me thinking, not of what the symbolism is or what the moral of the tale is (I've never been one to see what lay beneath the words), but what the character would do with a dragon at his disposal. Would he use it strictly to fulfill his own desires, or would he feel the urge to fulfill the age old moral phrase, "With great power comes great responsibility"? Would he become a villian or a hero. Which then gets me to thinking "What would I do with a dragon?" or for that matter, how exactly would I react to seeing a real, honest-to-goodness dragon. Would I freak out, relieve myself in terror, run away screaming, or faint right there and then?
Which brings me to what I feel could make this tale that much more believable/better, now this is just my opinion. I would beleive it more if the character did freak out a bit more, he seemed too calm and courageous for seeing something as foreign and fantastical as a dragon. Maybe if he trickled just a little, standing frozen in absolute terror. I also do not feel the word "vanquish" is being used correctly from something that cannot actually harm a human. I believe the word you should be using is "defeated", where it leaves the question of if there were fatalities or not. Where vanquished gives off a feel of complete obliteration. And finally a hint that is not really a hint of just what the character might possibly do with his dragon outside of the boundaries of the tale should be added at the end to really make the readers guess, as if just maybe there might be a sequel.
Again I did really like this tale and the visual of the character just sitting there looking up at the ceiling in complete bafflement amused me greatly, as well as the thought of passing by and seeing a man covered in soot and debris staring blankly off in the distance, with no tragedy in sight, as if he just appeared out of nowhere and was wondering where the heck he was also intrigued me and inspired an idea for scenario in one of my own stories.
May you Dreams guide you and your Nightmares inspire you.
333rd Legend
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