Overall: 2.5 stars

The publisher defines this as a "generation-defining self-help guide" that advises people to stop being happy all the time in order to achieve happiness. The core of the idea is that the problem isn't learning to turn lemons into lemonade; the problem is learning to stomach lemons.


Personal synopsis:

At times, I enjoyed this book. But while it does feel like Manson is telling it like it is, it's mostly rehashed material that has been presented by stronger authors in the past. I'd be interested to see him do a revisit to this book 25 years from the time of writing, to see if he notes that with age comes a different perspective. Essentially, it's a guy, without proof of why he should be explaining Eastern philosophy to the reader, explaining Eastern philosophy to the reader, in the most self-indulgent way possible. He tosses in some casual victim-blaming and adds a dash of sexism for fun.

The thing is - the book isn't wrong. In fact, he gets a few things very right. In between those things, there's some significant deficits which leaves the critically-engaged reader annoyed, and potentially leads the engaged reader astray.

Main takeaways:

You cannot care about everything, because in doing so, you end up truly caring about nothing.

By acknowledging that your problems are not unique, you can eliminate a narcissistic 'why me?', 'poor-me' approach that can be paralysing.

By acknowledging that you aren't a 'rock star' (i.e. not any more special than the average bear), you can let go of the self-imposed guilt that you should somehow be something far greater than you are - which allows you the freedom to let go of the fear of being a failure, and counter-intuitively, gives you the freedom to do things that you dream about doing (like writing a book!).

Define your core values and you will find what you need to care about. Good values are "1)reality-based, 2) socially constructive and 3)immediate and controllable" (p. 85).

Life is a cyclical event of inspiration-motivation-action and by defining your core values you'll achieve greater greater results through this cycle.

Giving up something in order to gain another can be painful, and the work to achieve goals isn't very sexy. There's failure. A lot of it is mundane and boring. This is a normal, but often unseen, part of success.

The small moments in life - laughing with your partner, savouring your favourite cheese, good books - are all perfectly good reasons to feel happy with your life.

Essentially, the point the book tries to make is not that one shouldn't Give a F*ck, but rather that one should Give a F*ck about what matters to them in order to feel genuine and fulfilled - that's the 'subtle' difference.

Someone who hasn't read many self-help books and is looking for a starting point or prefers the bare-bones approach. Readers who do not like the typical tone and philosophical musings of most books in the genre and anyone who thinks 30 is middle-aged.

Great title.

His theory is actually sound: human beings struggle more than we need to, because we worry about the wrong stuff, and when we do manage to worry about the right stuff, we worry about the wrong stuff about the right stuff. His version of the value-based system helps to pin down the things that cause distractions from what you really want to do.

It's an incredibly fast read.

A lot of the really good points he makes get lost as superficial solutions because of the way he writes. If someone becomes disengaged because of that, his statements about dreams and the reader 'not being special' are going to come off as "it's not ok to dream, you are not special, be happy where you are". That is not at all what he is saying. It is the opposite of what he is saying.

Additionally, it was very repetitive, and often went into great detail about obvious things and left the reader hanging when there should have been more substance. The book started off well, ended ok, and the middle felt like it contained an awful lot of filler material. In fact, I use my Kindle to make flash cards of the best bits. I've reviewed them today, and I would certainly reference them again for reinforcement of the theories - but they take 15 minutes to read, and I've not lost any of the intention of the book. That's what I mean by lots of filler.

The fact that this is written by a straight, white, 30-ish male is evident throughout. Personally, I never had a dream of '"touching Jennifer Aniston's tits"... much of the anecdotal stories resonate this way. He spends much time telling the reader about his 'life-before-commitment' (that is, he was a pick-up artist), yet it somehow doesn't quite come across as so much remorseful, but rather wistful, a point of pride. Telling the reader once or twice would have been sufficient to point out he was previously quite a jerk.

Like sending him an email questioning a lot of what he says. So much of his opinion isn't very persuasive, especially as the book wears on. At several moments I found myself questioning his credibility. There is simplification - and then there is over-simplification, where the meaning of something quite thought-provoking gets lost in a general theme, to the detriment of the reader.

For example, the book seriously undervalues that sometimes, life circumstances aren't just a matter of 'getting over yourself', and though he claims not be victim blaming, implies that somehow poor people and other marginalised groups are 'entitled'. Fairness and equality are not entitlements. Full stop. The rehashing of "no matter the external circumstances...we control how we interpret what happens to us as well as our response" would ring pretty hollow to a hell of a lot of people who truly cannot interpret what is happening to them any other way and are penalised no matter what their response is. To pretend those situations don't exist is just plain BS: "it's true, it's not their fault. But it's still their responsibility" (p.107).

And again: He tries to comedy-away the fact that he stalked his ex-girlfriend, adding


No dude, she may have been the reason, but she was not to blame for how you felt.

And the most irresponsible example, page 128: False memories can happen, but to use one example and then state that:



Not a single mention that while those coerced cases were not representative of the larger problem of sexual violence against women, and more importantly, not any attempt to explain that sexual assault is a highly under-reported crime because victims are often not believed, further marginalised, and re-victimised by the system that should be helping them. What are the more practical methods? How are such cases handled now? No, just drop that little "fact" and hope the audience doesn't read too much into it.

Not shockingly, there are zero references provided, only adding to the lack of credibility.

Has been a blogger for many years. He's extremely popular, and much of the content from the book has been driven by his blog posts.

It wasn't as entertaining as I thought it would be, but there were a few chuckles, and I'm sure it would appeal to a large swath of the population who feel a bit lost, but don't want to feel like they're being preached to, or that they have to upend their entire life on some new-age journey (which they never had to anyway, but I can see who the book is targeted at). Sadly, there is just too much of an entitled "for-the-bros" vibe for me to completely recommend it. I don't think Manson meant, or is even aware, of the flaws I've noted. I do think he was well-intentioned, but I just don't know that he fully grasps what he spent the entire book explaining to the reader. It's either that, or he just stopped Giving A F*ck once he got the basics down.

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Created Dec 02, 2017 at 7:15pm • Submit your own review...