Changing Hearts 9-12

A/N: Thanks for reading! I know its a pain this way and I appreciate you taking the time to read! R&R! http://www.fictionpress.com/~gypsylowe

Changing Hearts
Chapter Nine

"Au revoir”

         Staring out the enormous windows I watch the once large plane quickly disappear from my sight. Wiping the tears from my eyes I head for the exit, I can't believe he's gone. I know we said that we'd try the long distance thing, but I'm not convinced that it will work. I mean he's going to be in an entirely different country, surrounded by beautiful foreign girls. My insecurities have already come back in full force; hugging the stuffed Eeyore Deegan gave me before getting on the plane, I head for the nearest taxi. As I do so, I catch the eye of a stuffy old woman giving me a look of disapproval.

"What the hell are you staring at?" I know I'm probably a mess, with my smeared make up and red eyes from crying, but I really don't care.

"Bad day huh?" the crusty old cabby asks me, as I slam the taxi door behind me

"You have no idea," I say before giving him directions to my house

         When the cab finally stops in front of my house, I hand the cabby his money and head inside. Slipping quietly into my room, I drop into my oversized circular chair and fully intend on spending the day loathing in self-pity.

"Hey" a voice startles me, causing by body to jump in terror

"Jesus Sarah, you scared the crap out of me"

"Sorry" she says sitting up on my bed "So how'd it go? Are you ok?"

"I thought that I had it totally under control and that I could handle it, but when his boarding number was called I seriously considered demanding that he stay"

"Completely understandable" She says handing me a Kleenex

"Yeah, but I didn't. I let him get on the plane and leave. Agghh"

"Is he going to email you when he gets settled?"

"Yeah, it's about an eight hour flight and London is about six hours ahead of us. He's supposed to get in to London at about nine, which is about three here. He said that he'd call me tomorrow afternoon at twelve."

"That's cool"

"Yeah, I'd rather have him here though. Hey, why are you all dressed up?" I ask when I finally notice the skirt and blouse she has on, she hates to dress up

"Graduation rehearsal is at 10 o'clock today, did we forget? We also have to meet my grandparents for lunch afterwards."

"Uh shit, I totally forgot. Sarah I'm really not in the mood, could we cancel with your grandparents?"

"No, if we don't start sucking up now they're not going to let us stay, rent free I might add, in one of their apartments when we got to college and what about graduation rehearsal?"

"I'm not in the mood ok?"

"I know its tough, but you have to get on with life. Also, you seriously need to clean up" She says referring to my smeared make-up “you look like hell”

"Gee thanks for the support” I say hugging me Eeyore closer “It's just a lot harder than I thought it would be" I miss him already

"Come one, you've known this day was coming for two weeks. I'm not saying that you shouldn't be sad about his departure, but it's not permanent and he'll be back."

"I know" Great, now I even feel bad about feeling bad.

"Good, the guys are meeting us at the school. Let's get you cleaned up" can't she just let me wallow in my sorrows?

"Sarah, I know your trying to help, but like I said I'm really not in the mood"

"Well to bad" she says putting her foot down "You're going the rehearsal. Now wash your face, change your clothes, and let's get going" I hate when she gets bossy

"Fine!" I say storming to the bathroom. What is so wrong with me being upset with Deegan leaving, I bet she would be devastated if Charlie left. I think I have the right to be miserable.

"Row, I'm sorry ok. I know you’re mad at what you see as my lack of compassion for Deegan leaving, but I just want you to try not to dwell on it." She tells me when I emerge for the bathroom, re-dressed and cleaned up, storming passed her and out to my car.

"I'm not going to dwell on it" I say starting the car and heading to the school

"Yeah right Rowan, I know you all to well remember" Damn, she's right

"Whatever, it's just I hate school events normally and with the way I feel right now I hate them even more. I know we need to start buttering up your grandparents but I'm really not in the mood for ass kissing"

"Well to bad, this date has been set for weeks and if you're still planning to go to Julliard or even Tisch School of the performing arts at NYU, tuitions going to be a bitch to pay for so rent free is a great way to live."

"I know, you’re right" I'm not in the mood to argue

         Reluctant as ever I agree, trying my best to plaster on a smile that doesn't look as fake as it feels. Graduation rehearsal is a totally farce, it was a complete waste of time. We did absolutely nothing that we wouldn't have figured out on graduation day, I mean is it really that hard to walk to the stage, shake some guy's hand that you've never met, and walk back to your seat, all the while pretending that you're leaving the best years of your life behind. Boredom gives me time to slightly recover from Deegan's departure, signing deeply I realize that he will be back. Well he better come back anyway and if he comes back with a British bimbo attached to his lips there will be hell to pay.

"Smile" Shawn's voice commands

"No"

"Yes"

"No" I repeat, shoving him away from me

"Jeez, did we forget to take our nice pills this morning" he teases

"What? Are you implying that I need to be on Prozac?"

"Row, I'm kidding," he says sitting in the metal chair next to mine "you ok?"

"I think so," I answer, resting my head on his shoulder "He'll be back, right?"

"Yep, He'll be back"

"Are you sure?"

"Positive" he tells me while slipping his arm around my shoulders, holding me close. I know he wouldn't lie to me, at least I think. Relaxing into his embrace I realize how much I have missed this. Things had been basically normal between us again, except we never did this sort of thing anymore. Maybe it was because we are both seeing someone and we don't want our significant others to get the wrong idea and the wrong idea it was. We were back to the way things used to be and my feelings had gone back to normal.

"Shawn!" Allie's voice calls out to him from somewhere behind us. His arm is quickly removed from my shoulders and he distances himself from me. Well I guess things aren't completely back to normal, but it's to be expected. "Hey, here you are" she says appearing next to him

"What's up babe?"

"I was going to ask you the same thing" uh oh, that can't be good

"Allie" Shawn says sounding irritated

"I know, I know," she returns

"I got to find Sarah," I say standing us as the intercom announces that we may leave now "we have to have lunch with her grandparents. See you guys later" The look in Allie's eyes as I pass by, makes me realize that how Shawn and I used to be is no longer possible. Finding Sarah turns out to be harder than it sounds. After canvassing the school twice I finally find her out side by the car, why didn't I look here first?

"Hey, I've been waiting for like 20 minutes, we're going to be late" she says as I approach

"Sorry, I was looking for you inside the school"

"Oh, I guess we should have had a place to meet. Anyways plaster on a smile and let’s get ass kissing," She teases as we get into the car.

         Man this is going to be a long afternoon; I feel my head start to hurt as we enter the restaurant. The smell of perfume coming from the older woman next to me is overwhelming; I try holding my breath while Sarah searches for her grandparents.

"Over there" she says pointing to the table where her grandparents sit

"Great" I quickly straighten my clothes and hair before we arrive at the table

"Well girls, it's nice of you to actually show up," Her grandmother says with a stern look as we take our seats at the table.

"Sorry grandma, graduation rehearsal went longer that we expected."

"Yes, well have either of you received acceptance letters?"

"Not yet grandma"

"Well, when your brother applied to college he had received his acceptance by now" she says looking suspiciously at us.

         Both coming from old money, Sarah's grandparents are unnaturally wealthy. Sarah's mom, Genevieve, grew up in this world of stuffy riches and eventually found herself expelled from their group when she got pregnant at sixteen and married Sarah's father, Duane. Sarah's grandparents wouldn't speak to her parents after they were married until Sarah's older brother was about ten. They still have little interaction with them, but they try to be more involved with Sarah and her brother, Colton. Hence the paying college tuition and even offering them places to live while in school.

"Yes Grandma, but that was because he applied for early admissions at Brown"

"Rowan, when do you expect to hear from Julliard? Your audition was a while ago"

"Actually any day now," god this woman intimidates me

"And if you don't get in?" did I mention she irritates me too?

"Well, I also applied to NYU with Sarah, except I applied to the school of drama"

"Hmm, Sarah how are you're parents?" Can we say disapproval?

"Fine" she answers uncomfortably. Her grandmother pumping for information on her parents' lives is uncomfortable for Sarah; she doesn't know what to tell her.

"And you're brother? Since he hasn't called us in a while, how is he doing at Brown?"

"Grandma, Colton and I really don't talk"

"I know I just thought you had gotten past that anti-social phase"

"Grandma," I can see the anger in Sarah's eyes "Colton and my disliking of one another has always been prevalent. Just because I have different views then him doesn't mean that it's completely my fault we don't get along"

"I never said that"

"Grandma." Sarah starts

"Well Rowan, did you hear about the auditions at the community theater?" Sarah's grandfather interrupts

"Yes, sir" Sir? Something about her grandfather makes me nervous and sound all proper.

"Are you going to try out?" he asks as Sarah and her grandmother continue to glare at one another.

"I'm not sure yet" I say honestly, the community theater is doing Our Town. I've done the play before in high school drama, it was another play that I had a hard time getting into.

"What about that boyfriend of yours? What does he plan on doing after college?"

"Deegan? He just finished his first year at the University of Chicago. Right now he's planning to be a professor of Sociology," unless he gets attached to his life in London.

"What about that boy you're seeing?" Sarah's grandmother asks

"Charlie, his name is Charlie. He's not sure what he wants to do."

"Doesn't he have a plan? Sarah you really should think of these kinds of things before you start dating someone" her grandmother tells her disappointedly

"Well, he's good to me and he makes me feel like I matter. I think that's a little more important than what his college plans are."

"That's nice, but you're not going to give up you college opportunities for Chuck"

"It's Charlie and he fully supports whatever I choose to do," realizing that this is far from the ass kissing that we need to be doing, she carefully changes her tune" Grandma college is important to me and I won't give it up for a guy"

"Yes Mary-Ellen, your granddaughter is much smarter than that" he grandfather's voice pipes up

"Are we ready to order now or do you need a few more minutes?" the plump waitress asks thankfully appearing before anything else can be said.

"We're ready" Sarah's grandfather states quickly

         Great this is going to be a fun Monday night regularity. I guess that one dinner a week for the summer, until we leave for college, isn't that bad if we get to stay rent free in one of the apartments that her grandparents own while going to college. I'm a little nervous about moving away from home, but I really want to go to Julliard. I hope that I get into the drama department. If I don't I guess that NYU will be ok, it's a really great school. Then something else that I never thought of hits me.

         When Deegan gets back, he's going back to the University of Chicago and I'll in New York. I mean I knew that we'd be apart in college, but I didn't realize that we would be apart before I left for college. I begin to sink deeper into my chair as sad realization hits me, this isn't going to work.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *



Chapter Ten

“Finally” I moan as I drop my body onto my bed, pushing the covers back I cuddle into my bed “solitude.”

         It has been a long day! After sucking up to Sarah’s grandparents, for way more than was necessary, we stopped off at a book store. It took Sarah an hour to find the books she wanted, I just grabbed one that looked interesting and spent the rest of the time following her around. I just wanted to go home, if I hadn’t kept bothering her about leaving it probably would have taken two hours for her to find a book she really wanted.

         Pulling the covers over my head I close my eyes and try to get some sleep. The stress and all the activities of today have fully worn me out and my head has begun to pound. I just want to forget everything and sleep. Just as my eye lids close, giving into the sleep I need, the sound of my door opening causes them to reopen.

"Hey there girl" Shawn's voice penetrates my once quite spot under the covers

"Go away, I have a headache," I tell him, pulling myself deeper under the covers

"Well to bad, I'm bored and your going to entertain me" he says pulling the covers off of me, the light just strengthens the pain in my head.

"Shawn, I’m really not in the mood"

"I know, that’s what makes it better. Come on, if you entertain me then you won't be worrying or dwelling about Deegan leaving, graduation, or the future in general" he tells me "its a win, win situation."

"Go let Allie entertain you, I’m sure she’s got some ways to entertain you that you’ll enjoy a lot more than the entertainment you‘ll get here"

“Um…doubtful”

“What?” I ask

"She'd more likely try to kick my ass than entertain me," he says sitting down next to me on the bed

"Why? What happened between you two?" I ask finding myself suddenly wide-awake

"Nothing” he states vaguely

“Did you have a fight”

“I guess you could say that” he says “I see it more as the final straw, so I am officially back in the market for all the girls to vie for"

"Mutual?"

"Not really, she just got all clingy and obsessive"

"What? Allie?" I guess I don't know Allie as well as I thought

"Yep"

"But things seemed ok at graduation rehearsal yesterday" Well…kinda

"They weren't and her jealously little fit after rehearsal was just the last straw"

"Fit about what?"

"Nothing, anyways how are you holding up?" he says changing the subject

"Smooth change of subject there, But anyways I'm fine"

"Really?" he asks skeptically "you don't look fine"

"I have a headache remember?" I'm tired of hearing 'are you ok' over and over.

"Headache or hangover?" he teases

"Headache" I say throwing the pillow at him

"So did you talk to Deegan?"

"Yeah he called about an hour ago" I can feel the tears welling in my eyes. When he called I wanted to tell him to come back, but he sounded so excited. Instead I sucked it up and found myself repeating 'wow' and 'that's great' through the majority of our conversation. As he talked on, I kept picturing our relationships' demise and wondering how it was going to happen.

"Hey, it's ok" he says as his arms wind around me. The tears have begun to fall, why can't I control them when I want to?

"I'm fine" I snivel into his chest when I get my tears under control

"Right" he says shifting us so his back is against the wall

"I am" I tell him while I move my head from the tears stained spot on his chest to his shoulder "I just thought finally someone cared about me and I wouldn't end up alone, but then this happens"

"Row, you're not going to end up alone. You'll always have Sarah and me"

"I know but that's not what I mean" I say sighing, "I want something like you see in all those stupid movies, the whole package, ya know? Friends, family and a great love."

"You'll get it"

"Right, look how this thing with Deegan is turning out. No one will ever love me or even if by some miracle one does, he'll leave." I admit as I feel the tears begin to form once again.

"Rowan I'm positive that there is someone who loves you and won't ever leave"

"Really?" I say looking up while taking a deep breath, beating the forming tears

"Really" he says looking into my eyes, while his fingers wipe away the streaks from tears. The electrical spark that goes through me starts my heart pounding, every feeling that I thought was forgotten returned with one touch.

         I'm not sure who leaned in first, but suddenly I find myself kissing him. The feel of his lips and hands on me send my body and senses into hyperactivity. Wrapping my arms around his neck I deepen the kiss, the feelings stirring within me tell me this is right.

         I feel him shift and shove the clutter covering my bed onto the floor, his lips never once leaving contact with mine. The feel of his warm hands caressing my back and his deep passionate kisses, leaves me feeling completely safe and loved. When his lips leave mine I find myself whimpering at the loss of contact. Suddenly I am jolted back to reality as I feel his hands working to remove my shirt.

"No" I say although to me it sounds more like a moan.

"Its ok" he tells me "We're meant to be"

"Shawn." my eyes fill with tears, we can't do this, can we?

"I know, it's to fast. Its not the right time" He says as he plants a kiss on my nose and pulls his hands away from the hem of my shirt.

         Before I can respond is lips are on mine again. The ways he kisses me makes me feel important and safe. I don't want it to end, slowly I begin to kiss him back. He wraps his arms around me and deepens the kiss.

         My head is spinning, this feels right and comfortable, but then again this is Shawn. Then again that is the problem it's my best friend Shawn, I shouldn't feel like this about him but as he slowly pulls away and kisses the tip of my nose I feel happy and content. Gently he lies back on my bed pulling me with him, cuddling closer to him I close my eyes and relax. As I feel sleep calling to me I snuggle closer to him, enjoying the feel of him. Together we drift off into a much needed sleep, both comfortable and content.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *


Chapter Eleven

         Slowly blinking my eyes open, I find myself feeling able to sleep for days. I cuddle closer to Shawn's sleeping form; he stirs slightly, his eyes lazily trying to open. Shifting once again I find the red letters of my clock illuminating 3:56 a.m. While trying to regain my previous spot next to Shawn I feel something pinching under my side. Grabbing for the object, I yank it out from its uncomfortable position. As soon as I catch sight of it, my heart tenses and my entire body fills with unease.

"Oh, god" I stammer out loud to myself as I pull myself away from Shawn

"Hey, What's wrong?" Shawn asks, not completely awake, my unease obviously rubbing off on him

"This" I say through deep breaths as I throw the object at him

"What?" asks after inspecting it "It's just a stuffed animal."

"Eeyore, it's a stuffed Eeyore" I say as the tears begin to flow and I drop myself into the space between my dresser and the wall.

"Row, I don't see the problem," He says getting off my bed and heading towards me "Exactly what is making you freak?" He asks crouching in front of me, while reaching to brush my hair out of my face

"Deegan, gave it to me" I sob before pushing him away from me "I can't believe what I just did"

"What are you saying?" he asked, is eyes flashing with hurt and anger.

"What the hell do you think? Do you have any idea what I just did?" I say trying to breathe, but I find myself starting to hyperventilate. I can't believe what I have just become. "I'm a cheating whore" I say out loud

"Excuse me?" anger more evident in his voice than hurt "So what? Now you're going to turn around and say that everything we did last night was a complete mistake? I mean, Jesus Rowan, its not like we slept together"

         I can't speak; it felt right at the time, but now it makes me feel like a tramp. I know that all we did was make out but still it feels wrong, it was wrong and cheating is cheating. I was so wrapped up in the fact that I thought eventually Deegan would dump me, I actually did something that would make him dump me. Deegan hating me wasn't the only thing causing my nerves to freak, but also the fact that I totally used Shawn to make me feel better.

         Pulling my knees up to my chest, I begin rocking myself trying to somehow calm my nerves. How could I have done that? Shawn is, or was, my best friend and I never meant to hurt him. Only now I have, I've ruined my relationship with the two guys in my heart with one act. How did I ever let myself do this to them, I was so worried that I'd be alone and now here I am alone. I have no one to blame but myself, I knew what I was doing and I still let it happen. I think that I, unconsciously, must enjoy hurting others and being in a state of chaos, why else would I do this to them?

"Huh Rowan?" Shawn asks angrily "Have you even heard a word I just said"

"Shawn" is all I can get out between sobs, as I realize that I wasn't paying attention to what he was saying

"You know what Rowan? Just forget how it felt when we kissed so that you can feel better about yourself. You know what? You can just forget our friendship for that matter." He yells kicking the Eeyore across the room "I should have known you'd pull something like this."

"Like what?"

"Make me think I finally have a chance at being more than just good old reliable Shawn the best friend, then you decide that you like the idea of me being just your friend better. That way I'll always be here on the sidelines to make you feel better, playing the role of good friend"

"Shawn" I barely manage, Is that what he thinks of me? Do I really do that to him? Do I keep him on the back burner until things get bad, and then put him back on it when I feel better?

"Rowan," he says frustrated and angry "You do realize that this changes everything between us, don't you?

"I know" I choke out, still finding it hard to breath "but I just wish that- "

"What?" he cuts me off "that it never happened? Well it did and honestly I'm glad it happened. Now I have to open my eyes to the fact that I was completely delusional when I actually thought we could be together. Don't get me wrong the feeling I got being with you tonight was amazing, but I somehow managed to think that you felt the same. Now after this I realize I was completely in my own little world, I should have known that this would happen."

"I'm sorry" I don't know what else to say

"Whatever. Now you can run back to Deegan, just don't expect me to be on the sidelines anymore playing your little game" he states angrily

"Get the hell out" I scream, I can't take this anymore "Get out, get out, get out!" I repeat flinging whatever I can get my hands on at him

"No problem" he yells, storming through the door and slamming it behind him.

         Sinking deeper into my dark corner, I let the tears fall freely, millions of questions running through my head. What the hell am I going to do now? What am I going to say to Deegan when he calls? Should I just tell him what happened or should I forget it? What about Shawn? Did he really want to end our friendship and never going to talk to me again? I just want to turn back the clock one week, and then everything would be normal again. How could I have done this to them?

"Rowan?" my mom's worried voice asks as the lights pop on "Rowan?"

"Mom" I say through tears as I collapse into her embrace

"What happened?" he voice filled with concern "I heard yelling"

"It's bad, I've ruined everything" I cry "They hate me now, I've hurt both of them"

"Who? Who did you hurt?"

"I don't want to talk about it mom, please" I say pushing away and lying on my bed, wrapping myself tightly in the covers. "Just leave me alone,"

"Rowan" my mother's voice is now stern "What is going on? You are going to tell me, you can't just yell at someone at 4 am and expect me to not have a problem with it! Who was here? It's a little late for visitor"

"No one was here" I lie, I don't want her to know "Deegan called, we had a fight, I yelled and that's the end of it" I don't want to explain to her tonight

"Rowan" my mom's stern voice calls, anger evident "don't lie to me, I heard another voice"

"Shawn was here" I admit quietly

"Why? Its four am, why would he come over this early"

"I don't know mom"

"Why were you fighting?"

"We...he was just mad."

"Mad about what Rowan?" she asks concerned

"He uh...He and Allie just broke up, i think he just needed to let his anger out and i didn't want to listen. I guess i wasn't being a good friend and he got pissed at me for it" I lie

"Oh" is all she says, I hope she can't tell that I'm lying "Well you better talk to him at school, you can't lose your best friend over something like that" great, thanks foe the advice mom

"Goodnight" I say, telling her the conversation is over.

"Alright, I'll see you in the morning" She says before leaving

         I don't know what to do anymore. It feels like everything is falling apart and even though I try to fix it everything gets worse and worse. I don't think it can get any worse than this so I guess that it means that things can only get better, right? Who am I kidding, things are completely screwed up! I feel horrible about this, I have to tell Deegan and I know he is going to be furious and hurt what am I going to do?

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *



Chapter Twelve

         Dropping my notebook onto the floor, I slide into the dining room chair. It's been a long week, really long. Resting my head in my hands on the table I allow myself to relax. School has been torture, even more so than usual. Shawn completely ignores my existence, even though I told my mom we’re best friends again, and Sarah has been a little distant. When I explained to her what happened she was quite disappointed in me. We still talk and joke, but now it seems to be on a more superficial level than it used to be. Taking a deep breath I stand up, and search for the phone. When I find it I quickly dial Sarah's number, hoping she'll be home.

"Hello?" Sarah's voice answers after a few rings

"Hey, it's me"

"Hi Rowan, what's up?"

"Nothing, can you come over for awhile?"

"Um." she hesitates "I guess, for a little while"

"Great, see ya in a few" I say, glad that she agreed

"Yeah, bye"

         Sitting back down I browse through the yesterday's mail. Our graduation ceremony is next week, but today was the last day of classes for all seniors. It feels weird knowing that I'll never have to go back there. I've spent the past four years dreading going to that building five days a week and now I don't have to ever go back. I've decided not to partake in the graduation ceremony, I'm not going to go and pretend that I'll miss high school because I know it has been the worst four years of my life.

         Amongst the day old bills and credit card offers yet to be opened in our mail was a letter addressed to me. Looking at the address I realize it is from Deegan. My anxiety goes into overdrive as I tell myself to open it. Carefully ripping it open I begin to read, the caring tone and loving signature indicate that it was written before that fateful phone call last week. Hearing the knock at the door I stuff the letter back into the envelope and get up.

"Hey" Sarah says when I open the door

"Hey" I respond. What am I supposed to say now? I hate the awkwardness that has taken over all of my friendships.

"So, what did you need?"

"Look." I say, I can't take this cold shoulder bit anymore "I know that you are angry about what I did, hell I'm angry at myself, but I can't change it now no matter how much I want to"

"I'm not mad," she tells me quietly

"Yeah right" I reply sitting back down at the table

"I'm not," she protests sitting across from me "I'll admit I was shocked when I found out. I had no idea how I was supposed to act around you about it, was I supposed to ignore it or talk to you about it? You've been different lately, this isn't the Rowan I know"

"I know I've been different lately, but I can't change it. I'm really sorry about it and I want us to be friends again. Why can't we just try to be friends like we used to be?" I plead

"Rowan, things will never be like they were." Damn, I hate it when she says what I'm afraid to "but I do want us to stay friends, it's just going to take some time to get through this weird time"

"So friends?" I ask

"Yeah"

"Good, I really need a friend right now"

"I'm sorry I've been so distant, I just didn't know what to say."

"You have nothing to apologize for, I put you in that situation. For that I am sorry, I really never meant to hurt anyone."

"I know, so how are you and Deegan? Did you tell him?" she asks hesitantly, eyeing the letter on the table.

"Right now I have know idea were we stand, I told him last week and I have yet to hear from him"

"What did he say when you told him?"

"Well he went silent for about two minutes and then I think it set in because he was furious. After about five minutes of arguing he said he needed his space and hung up on me, and that's the last I've heard from him."

"Oh" is her only response

"I know I deserve it"

"What about the letter" she says pointing at the envelope in front of me

"It came yesterday, definitely mailed before I told him," I say handing it to her

"He's coming back early?" she asks after a quietly reading over the letter

"Yeah, his job in London isn't what he thought it would be. He said that he's coming back a week from tomorrow so he can take classes this summer to make up for the ones he missed this term."

"I don't know what to say"

"Let's just forget it for now" I plead

"Ok, but how are things with you and Shawn?"

"Same, he still won't talk to me, return my calls, or look at me. I guess it is only fair after how I treated him, but I just want to apologize"

"Just give him a little time to digest everything, he'll come around"

"Yeah maybe, but I've completely ruined everything"

"Ok, it's time for a new subject. Guess who I heard from yesterday?" she asks trying unsuccessfully not to seem excited.

"Who?" this has to be good

"Admissions at NYU"

"And?"

"You are looking at the newest student at NYU," she states excitedly

"Oh my god! That is so great!!"

"I know," she says excitedly "So have you heard?"

"Not yet"

"Have you even checked today's mail?"

"No and honestly I'm a little nervous to check. With the way things have been going I'm actually expecting rejection letters"

"That's stupid, I'm going to check for you," she says getting up and heading outside. Great, I'm really not in the mood to read rejection letters. From the rapid pace in which she re-enters the door I figure a letter is here.

"Two, quick open!" she says dropping the two envelopes in front of me

"Sarah, I really don't want to" I'm more scared than excited to know.

"Look this one is just as thick as mine was, that has to be a good sign," she tells me holding up the envelope with NYU stamped in the upper left corner.

"Well look at the other one, its thin"

"So just open them!"

"Fine, give me one"

         I quickly put it aside the letter from NYU that Sarah handed me and begin to open the one from Julliard. I really wanted to go to Julliard, but I knew it was a stretch. Hands trembling I pull out the letter and begin reading. Five words immediately jump out at me, 'we regret to inform you,' I quickly shove the letter back into the envelope.

"Nope, Julliard has decided against my admittance. Bring on the next rejection" I can't believe this what am I going to tell everyone? My family all knew I wanted Julliard or NYU and now I'll have to tell them what a failure I am.

"I'm so sorry Rowan, I know you really wanted that one"

"Yeah well, life's not a bowl of cherries" I say as I rip into the envelope sent to me by NYU. I really hope that this is not a rejection, but I have a strong feeling it is. As I pull out the letter, along with it comes a catalog and Sarah's sudden excited laugh tells me that I have been accepted. Relief floods my body as I slowly read over the letter to make sure that I have in fact been accepted. Maybe things will begin to turn around and even if they don't, I'll still have NYU and one best friend.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Ok people I'm having problems with the format when posting these sections so I'm putting this story on hiatus here on Writing.com you can read the extra chapters I've posted on fictionPress.com! Sorry for this!

http://www.fictionpress.com/~gypsylowe

Thanks for reading!!

-Gypsy Lowe