On His Own

Morning. But no birds chirped outside. No traffic made noise as it passed his house.
There was just him.
He sighed as he rolled over. 7:00am. A new day.
‘Oh no!’ the boy thought, still lying there, ‘It’s today!’
He sighed, then reluctantly threw the bedcovers off his legs and dragged them onto the floor. Everything had seemed pointless since his mother had left. At least he had the problem to keep him occupied today.
Having a reason to get out of bed was unusual for the boy, never mind having a reason to get dressed.
The smell of coffee didn’t reach the boy’s nostrils. There was no feeling of this being a great new day, surrounded by friends and family. He was alone now.
Actually, it wasn’t so different. Even when his mother had still loved him, the boy had known that each person was on their own. No one could get a job for him. They could only give advice. No one could make friends for him. They could only give advice. No, when it came down to it, the boy knew that he was the only one who could do things for himself.
These were lonely thoughts. He was a lonely boy.
He sat on the wooden chair in the kitchen, slowly chewing a piece of toast. ‘How did I get to be so alone?’ he asked himself. ‘What’s wrong with me?’
These were pointless questions. He may never know the reasons for his loneliness. But he knew he was alone.
He had thought he liked having time to himself. When he realised his friends had all got on with their lives, leaving him standing on his own, he hadn’t really been too downhearted. After months of nothing, however, he realised that no one wanted to be alone. Maybe people are fine with not going out on a particular night, but knowing that there was absolutely no chance of being invited out? Not even the boy wanted that. And then his mother had disappeared.
She wasn’t murdered. Or kidnapped. She didn’t even run off with some man. Maybe these would have been better. She had just got fed up with the boy.
He didn’t know what he had done wrong. ‘I was being myself,’ he thought.
Then it dawned on him. She had left simply because she didn’t like who her son was. Another crushing blow.
The boy pushed the chair backwards, and stood up. Before he went to school, to face the problem, he had to go to the shopping centre.
He pulled his shoes on. The house was quiet. It always was, now. A tear dropped onto the boy’s cheek. He quickly wiped it away.
‘She’s not coming back,’ he told himself. ‘They’re never coming back. You’re really on your own now. Literally. Physically. It’s you versus the world.’
The boy closed the door behind him. The noise it made as it shut was a relief. It was the only noise he had heard since the TV had been taken away.
He blinked in the morning sunlight. The boy hadn’t ventured out of the house for a long time. Despite his continued absence, he was still enrolled at school, but, he thought, ‘only because they’ve forgotten I should be there.’
He approached the shopping centre. It was just opening. Only a couple of other customers were there.
The boy approached the doors. A body blocked his path.
The boy used to be friends with this body. Not anymore.
‘Ready for school today?’ the figure sneered.
‘Uh…’ the boy replied. He didn’t get much practice at conversation anymore.
‘I’m sure you’ll give us all a good laugh when you have to stand up and face your worst fear,’ the figure said, still sneering. ‘I’m sure you’ll be fine,’ he added.
Was he being sarcastic? Probably. Either way, advice wasn’t any good to the boy. It was he who would have to face his fear. He would have to face it and it was his fear. No one else could understand or empathise, least of all this big brute.
He found his way to the small grocery store. ‘Just the essentials,’ the boy thought, as he picked up a carton of milk.
He scrambled around in his pocket for money. 12 pence. Money was tight now that the boy was all alone.
A shiny 50 pence piece glinted up from underneath the refrigerators in the shop. The boy bent down and picked it up. Lucky. Last time he’d nearly been caught stealing a loaf of bread.
He paid for the milk and left the store.
At home, the boy changed into his school clothes and promised himself that he’d try to get to school more often from now on. He had to get out of this situation. ‘Qualifications might equal a job,’ he thought, and immediately doubted this.
With that thought, the boy, jobless, friendless, and, most of all, hopeless, slammed the front door shut and broke into uncontrollable tears.