Lost Identity

Lost Identity

She always sat there. Always alone. One backpack, one lunch box, ten chairs. Nobody would sit by her. Not even near. She would sit, hopefully, looking up at people passing by, wishing , praying that they would join her. However, all these people had social lives. They weren’t misfits like her. It was like they had been warned off her by some evil spirit. Though that would be right.

She always hid behind her black hair, as if her hair was some kind of mask. A mask that could transport her to another world. A world where she would feel wanted. Her bony fingers reached out for a sandwich, her black gemmed rings catching the light, her claw like nails jabbing her snack. Her eyes, watching. Waiting.

She had managed to find a way to block out the world. It was as if she was blind, deaf and unconscious at the same time. Though she knew very well that she was alive. Sometimes she wished she was dead. Perhaps the world would be better off without her; more chairs in the lunch hall which hadn’t been ‘contaminated’, more room for normal people. She hated that word. Normal.

She put her half nibbled sandwich back in her lunch box, not wanting to face the social suicide of walking to the opposite end of the canteen, to the bin. Instead, she went to the English block, and made herself comfortable in a little cubby hole in her usual corner, wanting more than ever to disappear, hoping that no one would find her.

It had all started when her so called friend Louise told everyone that she was a vampire. Not true. Just because she was a Goth and always dressed in black, everyone assumed that she was a witch, vampire, or somehow connected to the devil. As if. Just because she stood out and had originality, and didn’t look like a Barbie clone like the rest of the girls in her year. People are so judgmental. Since that day, no one has spoken to her. The nearest she came to communication, was the hisses that she got as she walked from place to place. People now acted like she had some uneasy presence lurking around her. No matter what, people will always think the worst of you.

* * * * * * *

He was always humming. It didn’t matter where he was, or what he was doing, he was always at it. He loved it. Other people hated it. It wasn’t as if he was out of tune or anything, it was his outlook to life and his attitude. His cheerful nature always seemed to follow him wherever he went. Always smiling, yet he was disliked by so many people.

He drummed his fingers against the desk, wishing the lesson would end, and he would then be able to go home at last. He longed to watch a documentary on the telly, of how one of his favourite musicals was filmed. One that he desired to be in one day. But one day seemed like a life time away.

His clothes all matched, even down to the colour of his socks. He was a perfectionist, a top grade A student, you might even go as far as saying that he was perfect himself. The only thing he never took off, was his permanent grin, which was stuck on there forever, as if someone has got a tube of superglue and just whacked it onto his face. However, every smile was a false one. He couldn’t remember the last time when he actually properly smiled. No matter how many times he was insulted, his false smile always seemed to do the trick. What they didn’t know was, every dig that was made, was like a thousand arrows in his heart.

He packed up all his books, and carefully put them in his backpack, ensuring that not a single page was damaged. He whistled while walking to the bus stop and waited, replaying scenes from the musical he had watched the night before, in his head. By the time he got on the bus, he had his earphones in, and was involved in the music. Music was his life. He got lost in his walkman, until something was aimed at his head, while “Gay Loser,” was yelled at him, by some idiot at the back of the bus. This interrupted his daydream, and life hit him, right on the head. The bus erupted into laughter, and many people jeered at him. Some guy had started rumours that he was gay, in his first year at high school, and now he was in year ten. He hated how people were so homophobic, even though he wasn’t gay. People stayed away from him like he has some contagious incurable disease. People just wouldn’t forget.

At home, he wasn’t the jolly boy that he appeared to be at school. He was quite the opposite. He moped around, and locked himself in his room, wondering what was so wrong with him. Why they all hated him so much. No matter what, people will always think the worst of you.

* * * * * * *

They had never met. Never even seen each other before, yet, on their first sighting, they seemed to know each other so well. She looked upon him with a solemn expression on her face, while he looked upon her with sorrow. Their worlds were so different, yet so similar at the same time. They didn’t know each other, yet they both felt like that they had been best friends for their whole lives. They were connected.

She smiled at him. Her first proper smile for what seemed like forever. She was worried that she had forgotten how to smile. Her eyes lit up, and at that moment, she was the happiest she had ever felt in her whole life. He saw her smiling at him, and felt warmth inside, and smiled back. Not a fake grin, but a proper one. They both felt like they had just received the greatest gift imaginable. For them, it was. He meandered towards her, not sure what to do, not wanting to spoil the perfect moment. She gingerly stepped forward, her black gothic dress traipsing along the floor behind her, like a wedding dress. They chatted for a while, and they both began to realise that they were no longer alone. They linked hands, electricity flowing through their veins.

They strolled off down the corridor, as if their horizon, was the sun setting on a tropical beach. They had found each other. Together, they discovered their lost identity.

David + Emily
Forever