Zombie Crew and the Killer Coffee

I have explained before in my previous McArcticle that we crew have a hard time pleasing customers. I am going to explain to you today what we do in the wee hours of the morning while our obnoxious customers still sleep.

We the crew rise at the ungodly hour of four o' clock a.m. and slide into the clothes we set out the night before. We manage to stay awake as we steer toward the Golden Arches. Once we park, the doors open slowly like ina horror movie, and people get out and do that zombie shuffling walk toward the door.

Once we're in the morning manager locks the door and we continue our shuffle to the back of the store where the time clock waits for us. After we slide our time cards through, we hang up our coats and file into our places in the store.

The morning manager disappears in the office to begin opening procedures. She is tired from a previous night's exertions. She has just sat down when the phone rings. We all sigh, it is our first call-in. For every one who doesn't know, a call-in is when you call in to your job and say you won't be coming in or that you'll be late. In this case it is a chronic caller in, so the manager mumbles coherency at what she's hearing on the phone.

Meanwhile, McCrew#1 is responsible for opening the grill. So she goes about putting the teflons on the grill tops and turning them on for today and make sure they're set for breakfast. then she goes through the grill area (Still shuffling) pushing all the buttons on and the lights spring on and flash as they warm up. The UHC (food cabinet), the oil vats, the table itself has a heater on it and it needs turned on. The muffin toaster is wheeled over, put together, and plugged in. The freezers in the grill area are cleaned out and turned on. The oven gets turned on and the fan starts whirring loudly. It is an old machine, but it is a sound we are used to. While Mccrew#1 is getting food items from the freezer, we move to McPrep

McPrep is me. I am responsible for making sure all of lunch stock is prepared as well as rolling the breakfast burritos in the morning. I have a long list and it goes like this: roll burritos, make parfaits(yum!), cook pies and cookies, drain the dehydrated onions (better known as regular onions) and put them in square cambros, put slivered onions (real onions) in square cambros, drain pickles, set up the shredded lettuce and the normal leaf lettuce, put tomatoes in a cambro, make salads, prep taco meat for the fiesta salad, roll chicken fajitas, take back breakfast waste, count it, pull breakfast for tomorrow, and do the dishes. it's alot to do, though at this time in the morning, I'm rolling burritos, so I look down the way to see what Mccrew#2 is doing

Mccrew#2 is responsible for opening the front part of the store. Stocking the condiment rail in the lobby as wellas all the sauces, milk, dressings and so forth we need. But Mccrew#2 has a second more important duty. She is the maker of KILLER COFFEE. She goes about her work slowly putting the filter in and setting it up to brew. Then she goes about stocking things slowly as the coffee drips into the decanter. When it is done, she calmly pours four large cups (16 ounces)about half-way. Then she adds sugar and creamer and a little bit of fudge and ice cream.

She sips her own coffee and instantly her eyes pop open and she has more energy to her step. She starts zinging around the front area singing and making a racket that we turn to look, still trapped in our eeyore state. She zips through grill leaving a cup with Mccrew#1 who takes a zip and begins to zip along as well, food starts to magically appear in the cabinet. She tosses me (quite literally) my cup and I catch it. I drink up and soon the caffeine rush hits me and I too am living lightning. I am the Salad Shooter, salad flies as I create salads. Morning Manager is quickly counting in the tills now. Counting tills in is when the manager counts all of the tills in the safe and makes sure they are all at $100. We are all loud and boisterous now, singing and dancing wiht glee. Morning Manager got a unique tattooo the other night on her bosom and she proudly displays it to the female opening crew.

Cars come through and I gingerly pick up a dormant headset and tell them we have 15 minutes until we open. There's some complaints and a few curse words, but there is a Mcparty going on in here. Soon the food is ready and we are coasting along in our caffeine induced euphoria as the store opens and our customers begin ordering.

What? You say we missed a hasbrown? Who cares! We have Killer Coffee!

What two peope called in and we'll be alone until 10:00? Who cares! We have Killer Coffee!


We are like a well oiled machine now, food being made and served, orders taken, and lnch stock being finished. When a dramatic cry from the front rings out about an hour later. It brings us all to a halt. We are out of Killer Coffee!! Killer Coffee is only permitted in the mornings you see. When we run out we cannot make anymore. Killer Coffe is the only thing that moves us through the morning. So slowly, we loose our bounce, our eyes start to droop and we count the hours until the clock sets us free. But we know tomorrow is another day and there will be more Killer Coffee.