Pax

I had traveled alone,
walking aimlessly
among the hills.
by day in the shadow,
by night in the wind.
Creatures of the dark
tore at my flesh
while I slumbered
upon cold and mossy
rocks, afraid.

I wore no clothes,
exposing my skin,
like rose petals
in the icy wind;
dirt, worms, and weeds
are all that nourish me,
turning my stomach,
boiling inside of me
like a swamp’s
fermented waters.

I thirsted and cried
my tears I spurned
into callous laughter;
mockingly I sighed.
“I am stronger
than this!" I shouted.
“These trials will
never conquer my pride!”
I smiled, and rolled
in the riverbed, muddy.

Weeks passed, years;
my eyes burned,
those reluctant tears
never washing the soil
from my face;
I toiled on, in
darkness, fueled by
anger and lust,
before coming to rest
at last, weary.

My head floated
high above my body;
Not knowing where I
was, the light of the
sun, so long just a
dream, blinded me;
I cursed the invading
warmth. “Leave me!”
I cried. Too cold
for much too long.

But still the sun
warmed, and I stood
prone against its
light; weak, I fell,
on my face, crying
into the soil that
was the only home
I knew; drifting into
sleep, I whispered,
“Death, come for me.”

At once my pain
lifted from my
veins, my bones
were healed, no more
brittleness and rust;
precious breath
filled my soul, in
a blaze I leapt
into a dream whose
peace I had never known.

Standing atop
a mountain, I peered
into the safety
of the valley below;
there I saw them laughing.
they were not hungry,
not worried or afraid,
they smelled of
wild flowers and
honey, clean.

Their peace called
to me, like whispers.
“You are not alone."
I felt a song,
its melody floating
like heat, silent.
It sang of a
lost brother, dying
in the wilderness,
crying, alone.

Closing my eyes,
I took one step,
where no ground
met my feet;
Their song, like
a memory, echoed
in my ears.
With faith I fell,
into their breath.
“Take me,” I pleaded.

Just then I woke,
shivering in the
warmth of the rising sun,
a slow breeze
rolling over my body.
My skin glistened
in the purity of
morning dew,
The song now just
a fleeting thought.

Two leaves danced
at my feet, I touched
the mossy rocks and
tried to speak the words
pulsing on my tongue,
"You knew me
first," I breathed.
No longer alone, I
cried with eyes, now
seeing for the first time.