What A Man Said

A man told me to be quiet.
A man asked how dare I
A man told me I feel and say too much.
A man told me I am just emotional.
A man told me I am unstable.
A man told me i am just crazy.
When I begged a for help,
A man told me there is no help for people like me.
A man told me I was too much,
A man told me I would never be enough.

A male psychiatrist told me to just not to be suicidal and to masturbate.
A man told me medication is just a crutch,
It was meditation I needed
Be more mindful and breathe
Men like to tell me I am just a whore.
A childless man told me single mother's raise fucked up kids.
When I was in labour a man told me if I couldn't look after the kids I have I should have kept my legs shut.
A man told me I just need to try harder.
I need to do more but also rest.
Males who work as police have told me it is my word against his and no one will believe me .
An ex friends boyfriend told me I should be grateful anyone would have sex with me.
A man told me I deserved whatever I got because of the way I dressed.

A man told me to be grateful,
Just be more positive, it's easy.
A man told me to get a grip,
Shut up and do as I am told
Men call me fat and ugly
A man told me I will be alone when I am old.
A man told me he hurt me because he loved me
Men have tried to kill me.

A man told me that I am scary
A man said I'd eat him alive
Confused I would not submit to him
A man has crossed the lines.
The hateful words they have said to me
Defined who I used to be.
Men have used and abused me.
They took what I didn't want to give.
Several men have raped me.
Infected from the inside.

They should be fucking afraid.
I took all those painful Mantras
All those actions and choices that were made
Transformed them into power.
Anything that tried to hold me down,
I stabbed them all dead.

That little girl they wanted me to be
I'm sorry but that's just not me.
I am the anger, the fire and the fury.
I took all the pain inside me
And I made it a part of me.
A feral woman with anger.
A societal disgrace.
I will scream and cry and bleed.
I will make you as uncomfortable
As all of you made me.
A man can try to tell me who I am
But its my voice I hear today.

I tell myself I am enough.
That I am doing okay.
It takes strength to stand firm
Against such nightmareish beliefs
In an unjust dystopian society
No one can tell me what to do,
Or how to think or feel.
Especially not a mediocre white man,
With more ego than common sense.
Your words do not define me,
I am strong inside my head
Your opinions do not define me,
Your words do not equate my worth.

The battle is never ending,
But its no longer all in my head.
I purge these awful experiences
No matter how awkward or uncomfortable
You or I feel
I am writing my own story.
I take your assumptions and hatred,
I control the narrative
I do not respond to your names
Your words no longer have power here.

I know who I am.