Bittersweet.

I remember,
being too little to reach up to the stars
and standing on my tippy-toes
when did growth mean obtaining scars?
When did I stop fitting into my favorite shoes?
Like how I no longer fit into my home
taste of sweetness churned on my tongue
and childhood memories became unknown
to ease the hunger and feed on the young.

I remember,
spending hours playing hide and seek
it's been years, and no one has found me
what did I look for in every nook and creak
It is not what hid, but what I couldn't see.

I remember,
growing taller than the apple trees
and the fruits lost their flesh and seed
girlhood became saltier than the many seas
and pink youth passed by the first bleed
and that little girl lies within my heart
and she constantly pushes me through my battle
yet I hear her shattering and tearing apart
at every sign of getting caught in a scramble

I remember,
when hands did not seem so daunting
bodies and minds bare of impurity
and now those hands ease me into haunting
my womanhood is a pavement for insanity.

I remember,
but perhaps my memories are scrapped
and my version of childhood has warped.