\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/2306589-The-Language-Purist
Item Icon
Rated: 13+ · Poetry · Satire · #2306589
A satirical poem on linguistic purism.
A language purist went to town to buy himself a car.
The dealer took him to the lot and said, 'Well, here you are.'
The purist chose a vehicle, when suddenly, he heard
A man across the lot said, 'Yall'll love this little bird.'

Now, ne'er before had he heard such a word as that one there;
It was so unexpected that it gave the man a scare.
But rather than ignore it and just buy his new 'mobile,
He got so mad, he felt his blood beginning to congeal.

He walked up, angry, to the man he knew to just have spike,
The man took notice of this fact and asked him what he'd like.
The first said to the second that yall'll is not a word.
The second just stared back because that statement was absurd.

He'd heard it from his family, yes, his mother and his dad.
He'd used it very often, so he knew it was not bad.
He told this to the purist, whose face was now beet red.
The purist said, "Then damn your mom," then sudd'nly fell down dead.

The moral of the story, for those who'd have to seek,
Is don't go telling other people how they have to speak.
© Copyright 2023 Carl Brianson (clunk42 at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
Writing.Com, its affiliates and syndicates have been granted non-exclusive rights to display this work.
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/2306589-The-Language-Purist