Thoughts

Drip.
I am sitting. Sweat glides off my skin, plopping onto the floor. My jaw is clenched, teeth grinding against each other. My nails dig into my palms making small cuts in my skin.
Drip.
What is that awful noise? It drives me insane. Now I hear ticking and toking. Like a clock.
Drip.
Tick. Tock.
This moment. This feeling. It makes my brain burn on a flame.
Drip.
Tick. Tock.
Voices.
Now, I hear the voices. Yelling at me. Screaming. Rummaging through my thoughts and tearing the walls of my head apart. These noises are at full volume in my head. My hands reach to my temples and clench. My eyebrows stitch together. I am cradling my head. The noises, so loud. A TV on full volume. No. A hundred TVs at full volume. All out of sync, blaring in my skull. Rattling my already brittle bones.
Drip.
Tick. Tock.
Voices.
If this goes any longer, my skin will be ruined. My mind is going. Leaving. Abandoning. I am fading. Failing. Making mistakes. I am losing. These noises cling to my mind and take advantage of my weakness. Whispering doubts in my ear. Filling my brain with a poison of its choice. This demon stays, clinging. It will never leave.
I fall over. I am curling into a ball of agony.
Not enough.
Never good enough.
Mistakes.
Losing.
Failing.
Breathe. In and out. Clutching my temple.
You are not a failure.
You are.
You are amazing.
You are a horrible person.
These thoughts run through my mind at an impossible speed, changing directions and springing in every day just to tear down the little self-confidence that remains. It rams into my soul, taking bits and pieces of who I am every time. I hide. I run. I will try. But it always returns. Always.