Reminiscing on you

Darkness is in the mist tonight a dreary feeling at my door. An unraveling notion of unwanted pain I can't shake off anymore.
I do not want to lie here any longer waiting for my own empty abyss, with you on my mind, of course you are missed. I would rather lock myself far away, in my head feel the cold icy truth. And to be honest I will, just to feel, maybe what you did in that last breath. And that's just part of this, I cannot deny the need to be with you. Why are you allowed to rest and I am walking with what is left? I tried to make it through these lies day after day, that is all I do. Consuming my hours with a tremble at any mention of your name and what you left behind, is it wasted time? I tried so hard to forget you, to deny you but the pull of the truth kept you coming back and searching for me was a crime. I should had seen it then, if I had, would I had changed how you seen yourself? If I would had known then your days were numbered. What would that last goodby had felt like? Would I had tried anything to make the past right? I hope someday I will make it out of this spiral on who we where or how now, you found your own resting place. A place to fight your own fears leaving your body to stone and my soul left reminiscing all those years..

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