The Drakes of Heaven and Earth: #8E

After both groups of wizards returned from their respective quests, they will soon meet up.

Natsu Dragneel:[Laughs] Was that an awesome job or what!?!

Happy: Well the client sure seems to think so!

Gray Fullbuster: Face it, you guys are just lucky that I decided to come along...

ND: We're lucky that you begged to come with us? How do you figure!?!

GF: Because you were about as helpful as on of Erza's suitcases!

ND:[Head to head with Gray, ticked off] You better watch your mouth, or I'll pack you like a suitcase, pal!

GF: That doesn't make any sense!

ES&MGS:[Parting their heads] That's enough boys! Now please get dressed!

GF:[Caught off guard] For crying out loud! Why does this keep happening to me!?! I just wanna argue like a normal person for once!
Hap:[Talking over Gray] A bit of advice here, Gray, never get into a fight in your underwear!

[Gray puts on some pants.]

Lucy Heartfilia: Hey! Sorry to interrupt your conversation, but...

ND: What's up!?!

LH: When I took this job, I originally thought it would be a Solo mission, ya know!...So, why'd you have to come along?

ND: Ah! Come on! Isn't it obvious!?!

LH: No, I don't think so...

ND:[Grinning in a pose] We're Fairy Tail's Strongest Team, so we gotta stick together!

Hap: Aye sir!

GF: Don't you forget it!

Erza Scarlet: *Humph*

LH: Yeah we are!

ND: No job's too tough! Not for me, Happy, Erza, Magma and Ol' droopy drawers over here!

GF: Don't call me that...

Magma Grimm-Scarlet: *Humph* We are quite a capable bunch!

Hap: True that!

LH: YOU FORGOT ABOUT ME!

Clay(ton) Grimm:[Walking in to join the others, with Griffin in his hood] And me!

Griffin: And me...

ND: Oh! But you two were too good for us! You went on a job with Laxus and his lackeys!

CG: Don't be a butt-hurt witch[Instead of b*tch] about it! It's not our fault that Laxus invited us!

GF: But no one forced you to go...

CG: You know...A young, wise cat once said something like "A change in pace is good once in a while,"

Hap: Flattery will get you nowhere, besides I don't like you twisting my words for your excuse!

LH: Hey, go easy on them you guys...

ES: Lucy's right...You boy's should know as we as I do Laxus just doesn't go on missions with anyone...They should consider it an honor!

CG: More like a hell of a good time! Those guys are awesome!

GF: Oh, great...looks like those punks got a new fanboy...

CG: Step off Gray...They're good people! Ya just gotta have a good taste in music, and do some karaoke with them...They'll open up real quick!

LH: Karaoke!?!

ES: Never would've imagined them doing something like that...

ND: What!?! Did you sing a bunch of crappy rock songs!?!

ND: First off, Rock ain't crappy... Besides...We sang more than just Classic Rock! Each one of them has their own taste in music! But I can't believe that after all the years Bickslow and Evergreen have been in Fairy Tail, they've only told me and Griff their last names!?!

ND,GF&ES:[Shocked] What!?!

ND: Well don't keep us waiting cuz! What's their last names!?!

CG: Bickslow Poke and Evergreen Forest...
P.s: No one really knows their last names...Just made them up!

ND,GF&Hap:[Hysterically laughing] Bick-slow Poke and Evergreen Forest!?![Continues to laugh.]

Griff: Don't mock their names! They'rere swell folks...

GF: So...What's the most surprising thing you found out about those guys!?!

Griff: Hmmm...Kind of hard to say...

CG: Yeah...It's a tie between Freed being into Rap, and Laxus having a soft spot for Opera...

ND,GF&Hap:[In disbelief] Freed's into Rap!?!

ES,LH&MGS:[In disbelief] Laxus likes Opera!?!

CG: Yeah...Freed has a good flow when he raps along too! He did "Rap God" like a beast!

Griff: And I was in tears when Laxus was singing Opera...[Wiping away a tear.]

LH: So...What other kinds of music do they like?

CG: Well...Freed likes Hip-hop, R&B, Jazz and Rap...Bickslow likes Heavy Metal, Death Metal, Hard Rock and Soul music...Evergreen likes Soft Rock, Pop, Freestyle and Alternative Rock...And Laxus kinda has a broad taste in music, like me...But he seems to like Classic Rock most, with Opera as a close second!

LH: So...Where are they now?

CG: Oh, on some other mission...They asked me and Griff to come, but Griff said he was feeling a little off, so we just came back home.

Hap: I know why he wants to stay in Magnolia...

LH: You do!?!

Hap: Yep! He wants to spend time with Molly! He's in lo-ove!

Griff: Your not completely wrong about Molly...I do like spending time with her...She reminds me a lot like my late wife, before we got married decades ago...

Gang: You were married!?!

CG: Yeah, that's right! You actually left Extalia because she died after laying your child...What was her name again!?!

[Warning! Exposition Alert!]

Griff: Her name was Cornelia...And our child would be called, coincidentally, Cana...Just like Miss Alberona...Although I left before she hatched...I was too scared to break her heart, telling her how her mother died...So I left her in the care of my sister, Shagotte...
P.s: Yes. Griffin is the Edolas counterpart of Gildarts. He was also the Former King of Extalia, and the reason why Edolas humans see Exceeds as gods. As for Edolas Cana, that's just her Human form. Griffin's human form actually resembles Gildarts, he's also just as old as Gildarts, but suffers from arthritis, making him think he's older.

ES:[Rhetorically] Well...What are the odds?

Griff: I'm aware...Anyways...Happy's just jealous because Molly likes me more than him...

Hap:[Blushing, but in denial] I do not!

GF: Oh yeah! Then why'd you offer her a fish on the way back home?

Hap: Shut it, Gray! If you remember, she took that fish I gave her and smacked me with it! Saying that she only likes saltwater fish...And claiming it was rotten!

ES,LH&MGS: It was rotten!

Hap: No it wasn't! It was aged!

CG:[Sensing a trashed Fairy Tail guild hall] What the hell!

Everyone: What!?!

CG: The guild hall![Running towards it.] Hurry!!!

[Catching up with Clay.]

ES: Why does the guild look so bizarre!?!

[The guild was impaled multiple times by Iron Dragon Clubs.]

GF: No way...

ES: What's happened to it!?!

LH: No...I don't understand...

ND: Ah...our guild...[Getting angry] Someone did this to our guild!

ES: But who would do such a thing?

CG&Griff:[Under their breath] Gajeel Redfox...

Mirajane Strauss and Clairissa Suede: It was Phantom!

GF: Are you serious?

ND: You mean Phantom did this!?!

MS: We couldn't do anything to stop them...They got us good...

[The wizards walk into the guild's basement, seeing everyone there. Including the newly formed Flying Exceed guild.]

Jet: We've never been on the best terms with those phantom jerks, but come on!

Droy: Wanna teach them a lesson!?!

Levy McGarden: Back off you guys...Don't you think we're in enough trouble already?

Master Makarov Dreyar:[Hammered] Yo! What's up, kids!?!

LH: Uhh...Hi...

ES: Sorry we weren't here sooner...

ND: Why the heck are you all just sitting around down here!?!

MMD:[Ignoring Natsu] How'd it go, Lucy? You finished the job like a good girl!?!

LH: Yeah, I guess so...

ES: Master! Do you understand the gravity of this situation?

ND: The guild hall has been completely destroyed!

MMD: There's no need to get yourselves all worked up. It's not the end of the world or anything...[Drinks beer]

ND: What!?!

MMD: It just goes to show you how powerly those dunderheads at the Phantom Lord guild really are! They struck when no one was here...Is that anything worth bragging about!?!

MGS: Nobody was here?

CS: It was after everyone had already left for the night...

ES: I suppose we could be thankful for that...At least no one in the guild was hurt when they attacked...

MMD: We shouldn't worry ourselves about people who don't even have the guts to take us head on! Forget about those fools!

ND:[Punches a hole in a nearby crate, in anger] Ain't gonna happen, Gramps! We can't just let them trash our place and get away with it!

MMD: I'm not talking about this any longer...Besides, Clay, Claire and Magma can repair the guild in no time...

CG: As true as that may be, the guild was impaled by Redfox's Dragon Slayer Iron! If we eat it, we can't barf it out until our bodies are done processing it! And although Claire and Maggie will be mostly okay, I'll have wicked indigestion until it's done! And unless you have a couple of jars of pickled plums, I ain't doing it! Besides...This is a declaration of war!

MMD: Nonsense! The last thing we need for our reputation is to be in a guild war! This is nothing but an act of rivalry!

Griff: Well Lamia Scale and Orochi's Fin have just as bad a rivalry as Fairy Tail and Phantom Lord, but you don't see them wrecking one another's guild!

Captain Havoc: Oh, grow a pair you old buffoon! If these phantom pansies want war, we'll give 'um war![The Flying Exceeds cheer in agreement.]

ND: Come on Gramps! The Exceed crew are ready to fight them, and this isn't even their guild!
MMD: NATSU!!! THAT'S ENOUGH OUT OF YOU![Makarov slaps Lucy in her butt, for no good reason.]

LH: And you spanked me because?

MS: Hands to yourself, Master!

CS: How the hell did the Valkyries let you use their magic, just to be a sexual harasser...

MMD:[Nervous laughter, runs away.]

ND: Where you going, old man!?!

MMD: Oh, keep your dress on...I gotta take a leak...

ND: I don't understand why he's being like this?

MS: Listen...This is just as hard on him as it is on you...He's mad...But conflict between the guilds is strictly forbidden by The Council.

ND:[Outraged] It's not fair! Those phantom creeps started it!

MS: I know, but that doesn't matter!

ES: If the Master's decision is to not retaliate...Then we must respect it.

[Once nightfall hit, the others went home, with Lucy, Clayton, Griffin and Plue heading back home together.]

LH: Well this is a pretty big mess we're in right now, isn't it Plue?

Plue:[Whimper in agreement] Translation: It sure is...Why did they have to destroy Fairy Tail!?! It's like our second home!

CG:[Able to understand him thanks to his Biotic Eye] I couldn't agree with you more little buddy...I just hope it was just Gajeel acting out on his own after getting drunk or something...

LH: Wait!?! You can actually understand him!?!

CG: Of course I can! My Biotic Eye Magic allows me to understand all creatures...even celestial spirits!

LH: So...Do you have a blood contract with Plue too!?!

Plue:[Nodding no] Translation: No! I only know him as well as you do Lucy!

CG: Yeah...Same here...Oh! Uhhh...He said "I only know him as well as you do Lucy!"

LH: Okay...So what do you know about this "Gajeel Redfox" guy?

Griff: I'll explain...Phantom Lord is one of the few guilds that know about the S.S.F...We've actually gone on missions together with him and their other S-Class wizards...Especially the Element Four...Gajeel in particular is another Dragon Slayer...He uses Dragon Slaying Iron.

CG:[Continuing] A specific form of Earth Dragon Slayer Magic he learned from Metalicana...Funny enough the same dragon who acted as the ordained minister who wedded Gaedey and Gednus together...Even made their rings...

Random ferryman: Watch out blondie! You're about a step away from swimming!

LH:[Ignoring him] I had no idea that Phantom Lord guild and Fairy Tail had such a rivalry between them!

Plue:[Whimpers] Translation: Me neither!

LH: Honestly, I thought about joining them before I met up with Natsu...

CG: Same here...They kept giving the S.S.F. offers to be members...If it weren't for the fact that I earned a lot of jewels fixing Fairy Tail's messes, I'd have joined them too!

LH: Well how 'bout that...They've got a reputation of being almost as crazy as Fairy Tail...But I love our guild! I don't regret my decision at all...

Plue: Translation: Same here!

LH:[Opens her apartment door] Fairy Tail is kinda like my family!

[Natsu and the others we're already in Lucy's home.]

ES&MGS: Very nice place you've got here!

LH:[Shocked] THEY LEFT TO SHOW UP, WITHOUT ASKING FIRST![Hits Natsu with her suitcase.] WHY ARE YOU HERE!?!

ES: Since the guild's been attacked...We can assume their are Phantom Lord members in town...

GF: They've probably found out where everyone lives by now...

LH:[Scared] THEY KNOW WHERE WE LIVE!?!

GF: Mira said it'd be better if we hold up together...You know...Strength in numbers...

Hap: So everyone in Fairy Tail is having a sleep over!

CG: Wait! You guys just broke into her place without telling her!?! This is her sanctuary! Not your place to break into!

LH: Thank you! They do this all the time!

Griff: Well they better not do it at our home...I treat trespassers with no mercy...

Gang: Good to know...

ES: Well...You are an attractive, young teenage girl after all...I wasn't entirely comfortable with you just being here with Natsu and Gray...I feel we could only relax you if me and my darling Maggie stayed here as well![Magma nodding in agreement.]

ND: It's not time to relax!

Hap&Griff: Oh! What's wrong Erza!?! You lo-ve them!?!

[Meanwhile, somewhere near Magnolia.]

*Crumble!*

Juvia Lockser:[With a crumbling stone railing in her clutches] Dammit! Not Again!

Element Four: Guess that vacation didn't help at all...

[Back in Lucy's apartment.]

LH: So it was already decided that these two would stay with me!?! Why'd they have to come to my place!?!

Hap:[Rummaging through Lucy's stuff with Plue] Woah! You sure have a lot of dirty clothes!

Plue: Translation:[Muffled, with a large lollipop in his mouth] And yummy food!

LH: What are you doing!?! Get out of my stuff! You better stop that, right now, or you're both dead meat!

ND: Hey, Plue! Did ya find something to eat!?! Don't go hogging it all!

Plue:*Mm, Mmm* Translation: Go find your own!

Hap: Look Erza! Found some frilly panties you might like!

ES: I can't believe you'd actually wear something like this, Lucy!

CG: Wow! Someone's desperate to be on Sorcerer's Weekly...

GF: I need to get some shut eye, so can you try and keep it down...

LH:[Bummed out] You guy are taking this "Make yourselves at home" thing a little too far...

ND:[Pulling out Lucy's Prefect Boyfriend List] Hey! What's this Lucy?

LH:[Terrified] AAAHHH!!!

[ Before anyone could figure out what it was, Clay pretended to accidentally eat it by inhaling it out of Natsu's grasp.]

CG:[Pretending to choke on it, then swallows it. Acting] Oh no! I ate your journal Lucy! Sorry...[Uses a house fly to whisper to her.] Your welcome...Play along! I'll get your list back to you when no one's looking...

LH:[Playing along] Ah! Come on! That was my personal journal! You owe me a replacement![Mouthing subtly] Thank you...

ES: We have a serious problem here...You boy's hygiene! I refuse to sleep in a room that reeks of sweat!

CG: My body's antimicrobial...I don't even sweat like a normal person...

Griff: He's basically a walking ultrasonic diffuser...He only bathes every now and then, just to feel refreshed...Besides...We're not staying here...

ND:[Whining] I don't want to take a bath right now...

GF: But I've already got into bed...

ES:[Grabbing both Natsu and Gray] Come on boys...Do we have to take a bath together, like when we were kids?

LH&CG:[Shocked] What kind of relationship do you guys have!?!

Hap: They're the strongest team!

LH,CG&Griff: More like the strangest team!

CS:[Through the room] Hey guys! We've got plenty of room in our place! After all...It's all complete!

CG:[Knowing what she's referring to] *Yahoo!* Come on everyone! They've finished the Underworks! Let's go![Grabbing everyone and walking home on a magic-made bridge, Clay set everyone down near their basement doors.] Did you tell everyone Claire!?!

CS: Everybody but the Shadow Gear Team is already down there...[Opening the basement door.] Come on! It will blow your minds!

[They all walk into the well furnished basement.]

Hap: Nice basement you have here!

GF: Yeah...But what's the big deal?...

Grant Chanty:[Walking in] We'll show you! Just get on the giant round area rug...

[Everyone gets on the area rug.]

ND: So what now?

CS: Just stand still! 👏 👏 [The area rug they stood on sank into the floor with them all, acting like an elevator, until they reached their destination.]

Gang:[Awestruck] Woooah!!!

[They look around to see an enormous Five-Star Hotel-Like housings. The entire Flying Exceed guild was down here, along with most of the Fairy Tail wizards. Near an enormous bar, Makarov, Mirajane, Elfman, Cana, Wakaba, Macao and Romeo could be seen, along with all the Flying Exceeds. Romeo could be seen running towards the newly arrived wizards, with a large rock in his hands.]

Romeo Conbolt: Hey, Claire! I did it! I did Lava Magic![Romeo melted the lump of earth into a thick, hot, malleable orb of molten earth.]

CS:[Joyful] I knew you could do it kiddo!

MMD:[Completely wasted] Yo, guys! Get over there! This place has everything! Booze, beds, baths, food, and a gigantic pool! Even a giant hot tub! Bathhouses for men, women, and both! Kinda wanna thank José and his chickens for wizards...If they didn't trash the guild, we'd have no excuse for being in here!

MS: The rooms make the dorm rooms at Fairy Heights look like closets! They even have tailors to make you new clothes!

Cana Alberona: And they have enough booze to get even me drunk with even putting a dent in their reserves...[Drinks beer.]

Elfman Strauss: I wouldn't mind living down here for a while...

Macao Conbolt & Wakaba Mine: I'll drink to that! *Tink!* [Both drinking their beers.]

CS: Ladies and gentlemen...Welcome to The Grimm Dwellings! Soon to be Grimm Heights after all this phantom crap blows over...It's completely undetectable by all means...

LH: Is this place even legal!?!

GC: Hell no! But once the phantom pains in our rears are done acting up, we'll reveal this place to all of Magnolia! Pa'll make a fortune big enough to make us all rich beyond our wildest dreams! Then we'll ensure it's legality!

Grimm Staffmembers[FYI; They're Earth Golems:[Circling the wizards] May I get you anything? Food? A drink? Hot towels? Anything you need, just ask aloud and we'll ensure your need is satisfied!

Gang: Awesome!

CS: Well, you could show them to the rooms...Men on the west wing, women on the right!

[While they were all enjoying their new hideout, the Shadow Gear Team walked the streets of Magnolia.]

Jet: Hope we're not too late...

Droy: You sure you know where Claire and the rest of them live?

Levy McGarden: Of course! It's right across from where Lucy lives...But I might have to share a room with one of you...Hope that's okay with you boys!

Jet&Droy:[Fainting from their love for Levy]

Droy: I'm perfectly fine with sharing a room with you Levy!

Jet: No Levy! Share it with me!

LMG: If you boys keep arguing back and forth, I'll just have to share a room with Claire...Or maybe Clay...

Jet&Droy:[Arguing against it]

[While Team Shadow Gear was bickering, Phantom Lord's Dragon Slayer ambushed the wizards, who were no match for him.]