Why?

I'm questioning.
I don't understand.
All these emotions,
Yet I feel so numb.
"Where did they come from?"
"What do they want?"
I ask myself.
Silence is the my only answer.
You.
I blame you.
I was fine,
Yet although I was dying.
Then you waltzed in like the light of the thousand suns and lit up my armageddon.
Did I ask for this?
Now I look forward to it.
I look forwards to it like a firefly who was lost in the darkness.
I look forward to your smiles and delusions of a happy ending.
I look forward to useless conversations on the stability of the weather when the only thing about to explode is my head from the thumping caused by the heat that your body radiates.
But you don't see it.
You never will.
And i'll just wait here until he ground gives away in the wake of an apocalypse.
You will never see that you're changing me.
You will never see the horrible effect that you have on me.
Did I say horrible?
Yes and I meant it.
Because I hate this.
I hate feeling what I can never have.
I hate feeling these sparks of happiness like fireworks that won't erupt.
And I hate you for giving me a taste of what you'll soon grab away.
You've come into my life like a tornado,
And i'm the disaster that you'll leave behind.