DIfferent Ways

I think about different ways to die sometimes,
in that way the depressed tend to do.
I think to kill the empty in my head,
empty filling to kill the time

I think it would be pretty incredible
to be struck by lightning
The energy of the universe
all yours for an instant
before you leave,
knowing you were chosen.

Drowning, for most, would be horrible
but I have always loved the water
To have her hold me close
as I closed my eyes to sleep
her gentle caress, her full body hug
would give me comfort in the end

Falling would be alright,
but not from a building.
There would always be the chance of survival
It would be from a bridge.
I've always wanted to fly
so I'll fly far away.

Burning would be unpleasant,
it would hurt to sharply
though I'd lose my nerves soon
I'd admire fire,
but he wouldn't return my affection

Being shot could be alright,
depending on where
if it was the head or the heart,
I wouldn't mind
anywhere else would be a nuisance
with a chance of pain

Bleeding out, I've been told, hurts a lot
but red is such a lovely color
if it was quick,
I would like that
but I'd have to be strong

Cancer could suffice,
but for the pain it would cause my family
I'd have to fight for them
and that would kill them more
I can't hurt them

A car crash is dramatic
but someone else might get hurt
and even in my head
I could never do that

I'm not actively suicidal,
but death comes for everyone,
what if my death,
is when I'm sleeping
and old?