Reality Show

Last week I was shopping with my friend and while we were going to Bloomingdales on the NYC Bus she looked over at me and started to laugh.
“Not you too,” I said in a low voice so no one else could hear me.
“What do you mean?”
“I am amazed at how many people will laugh at, ignore, or criticize me because I am sitting on my motorized scooter.” It did surprise me that people felt they had the right to say something directly to my face, as if I didn't hear them or understand what they were saying. I never expected one of my good friends to be like that and laugh right in my face.
“I wasn't laughing at you, silly. I was kind of chuckling at the reactions of some of the other passengers. I didn't realize it wasn't funny and I apologize.”
“No, it's okay. You know that it is difficult to offend me, I always try to keep a good sense of humor. But I would like to help them understand what people with physical disabilities go through just getting up the confidence to come on a bus, especially at first.”

We sat in quiet friendship for a while until she looked at me with the impish look she gets on her face and I knew she was up to trouble.

“What?” I asked her.

I've been thinking about what you said and came up with a great idea. We should develop a reality show about all the challenges you had to go through while living independently with physical disabilities. We could produce a really successful reality show—as long as you promise to keep your sense of humor.”

I thought she was joking, she knows how I hate reality shows. But when I thought about it I wondered if that wouldn’t actually be a great way to get people to at least think about some of the obstacles people with physical disabilities face, after all anything labeled a reality show seems to be very popular.

Personally I don’t think most of the current reality shows on TV should be called that. The few I have had the misfortune to see at least parts of seem to naturally fall into three different categories; Game Shows, Competitions, and Unscripted Shows. I haven’t seen anything that comes close to approximating the reality of my life, or that of anyone I know.

But our show would be different; it would be realistic, funny, informative, and terrific. Can't ask for better than that, right? Our show would portray a real woman trying to remain independent while coping with real physical challenges and disabilities, in fact she would be me! Now I had to give serious thought of who would, or could, play that part and do it well. Meryl Streep is the first actor that came to mind, but I wasn't sure she was available.

We got so caught up thinking about our show that we actually skipped shopping and went to a local coffee shop to discuss it further. We found a quiet table at the back of the nearest Starbucks, and while she went up to get her coffee and my latte, I pulled my ever present IPAD out of the backpack of my Motorized Scooter and set up the page.

“Okay, I've jotted down a working title, just so we can label it something. You don't have to like it, we can change it later.”
“Well, what is it? Maybe I will like it.”

“Hmm. I've been playing around with it ever since you brought it up a few bus stops ago, and came up with a few. What do you think of, 'A Woman's World On Wheels'?

“Nah, Too Many words and too many W's.”

I didn't have the heard to tell her aliteration is usually a good thing to us, but we could deal with that later. “Okay, forget the name for now. The most important thing right now is to figure out what we want to illustrate, her life at home or out on the street.”

“I don't know,which would give the best illustration and be the most interesting?”

“Good point. I think we would do better if we showed her in her motorized scooter or chair going somewhere, maybe shopping, and then returning home with packages.”

“Why? What could you illustrate there?”

“Speaking from experience, I can say that we could have her interacting with several people, including those she has to ask to help her, those who refuse, others who will say yes but don't know how, bus drivers, sales people, and other customers. We could make it very interesting, and pretty funny at times. At least that is what I think.”

“I see your point. So where do we start...”

“Well let's think about it a minute. We want to say something that will let people know this isn't goint to be a negative, pity show, we want to have a good time. Remember how people laughed at the famous Jerry Steinfeld episode when he and his friend, George, parked in a handicap parking space? It wasn't really a funny thing to do but it was done in a way most people could relate to and laugh, even if they knew they shouldn't.”

“We can't use the same material. Can we?”

“No, of course not. But I cannot tell you how many times I wanted to get my scooter on one of the city buses and haven't been able to because a car was parked in the bus stop. I was so annoyed I knew I had to do something. The drivers told me that they could not let me on if a car is in the bus stop.”

I watched for a while to see how often this would happen. I was surprised at how many times people ignored the No Parking Bus Stop signs. I decided that my experience ght make an excellent episode.

“Laurie,” I said when she answered her phone. “I think I have an excellent first episode for our show. Let's say we get together this evening and I will tell you all about it.”

That night after dinner, we sat on my deck and I took out a big folder filled with some sheets and various color oaktag sticking out. I could see she was looking at it a little questionable, but I knew I would win her over in no time.

“Okay, Laurie, here's the deal. I want to educate people about how difficult it is for a disabled person to travel around the city using public transportation. I decided that one way of doing that is to show atart from the beginning—getting on a city bus!”

“Yeah. But aren't you skipping something? What about her ability to get out of her apartment or building and to the bus stop.”

“You are right! We can skip getting dressed and all that home life stuff, but getting doors opened and to the stop, after all if the curb doesn't have a cut or it's snowy, I wouldn't even be able to get to the stop. This is getting exciting!”

In our series the woman isn’t siting around crying about her problem, she is involved as a volunteer, and most of her female friends either volunteer or work. The difference is that she now has to use a scooter to get around the city, and there aren’t elevators on most of the subways so she can only get around on the NY City Transit Bus or Access-A-Ride, the small buses designated for those with disabilities. And therein lies the story line—both humor and tragedy.


I have made up large, brightly colored cards to put on the windshields of cars in bus stops that say: Do You Know That A Disabled Person Could Not Get On A Bus Today Because You Are Parked In A Bus Stop? I stopped doing this the third time I saw my card thrown in the gutter near the sidewalk. But I haven’t given up, I just have to find a better way to get the message across..




I could no longer drive so I sold my house on Long Island and moved to Manhattan, a move that brought changes to every aspect of my life. Can you see this reality show taking form? Think about the current Desperate Housewives of New York. Now think about An Independent Woman on Wheels, about a single woman with disabilities, who has to make many major changes in her life and keep on surviving while putting forward a strong and happy presence; do you think any of the “Housewives” could do this? Whenever I have seen even a few minutes of this show someone has a major crises, usually involving ‘another woman,’ and the other “Housewives” are sitting around, dressed for a club or big night out, and over a few cocktails they console each other.



Because she had to call her lawyer about starting the process for a divorce, which took longer than expected because she had to convince the lawyer that, “yes only one vacation with another woman is reason enough to start divorce proceedings, I was now late and going to be very late for my meeting. Thank goodness for cell phones, what did we do without them.

You can picture several rather humorous episodes built upon this, can’t you? While these episodes can be made humorous I can assure you some of them are rather desperate! So claims the title of the episode, right?

Take, for instance, the first several times the woman tries to get her scooter onto a NYC bus, which requires backing the scooter up the ramp in front of the double bus and making a sharp 90 degree turn into the middle aisle without dismantling the metro card machine or crushing the driver’s arm with the steering mechanism. Once she is at the top of the center aisle, the woman must now back her scooter down the length of 3 seats that face the aisle so the riders’ feet are all nicely lined up ready to be run over. Since she cannot turn her neck around too far, she must ask the riders to please move their feet, which some do while others look at her blankly. The woman moves very slowly down the center aisle while other riders from the back seats call out a chorus of instructions either about how she should steer the scooter or how the passengers should move their feet or get up and move to the back of the bus. Other passengers just sigh very loudly to register their dismay at having to wait for her to get her scooter parked. It often takes two attempts to get the scooter into the small space allocated for it, which often brings the driver out of his seat to assist, which only aggravates the situation. During two such episodes the driver can be shown pushing the scooter out of the aisle, but not into the correct space, and in the course of that one show bot arm rests on the scooter are broken.

Everyone with a scooter or motorized wheelchair has these same issues at some point or another, usually when they first get the vehicle and are learning to pull onto the bus,: she said loudly so the other bothersome passengers could hear. “Why are you bothering me today?”

“Well lady you know I have to keep a schedule and when you and the others decide to travel…”

“The other what?” she inquired.

“You know, the others who are on scooters and stuff.” He replied while red slowly creeps up his face.

“Oh, you mean the people with disabilities who ride your bus as we have a right to do. Is that who you mean?”

“Well yeah, I guess that is a good way to put it.”

:”So what were you going to say? You wish disabled people on scooters would do what?” I asked very nicely.”

“Well, er, I was just going to say that maybe you could travel when it wasn’t rush hour so these nice people could get to work on time. Then maybe they would be a little more polite to you.”

Write here that most people are nice and that she needs to get to work to. Check for I and Me’s.
Gobackto beginning and makemore of a story.
Another scene could have a car parked in the bus zone; the woman is waiting in the pouring rain for the bus, sitting on her scooter and when the bus arrives the woman is not able to board because the car parked in the bus stop prevents the bus from pulling up close enough to the curb to let the ramp down so the woman can access the bus. Funny? Not if you are the person sitting in the rain, but an episode can deal with the information seriously, yet in a humorous way.



Of course once the lead character gets to her destination by bus, she must get into the store, restaurant, office, wherever it is she is trying to go, and must maintain her humor and patience while doing so. Not always an easy chore. One episode could have the woman on her scooter waiting to get out of a store, one with a heavy door that cannot be opened by someone on a scooter.
Woman on Scooter: “Excuse me, could you hold that door for me after you go through?”
Woman going through door, gives a nasty look: “ I don’t have time to be holding doors for people like you all day.”
Woman on Scooter, stunned and wonders who a woman like her might be. She always felt rather unique. “It will only take a minute, and I’m in a hurry, too.”
Woman as the door closes behind her: “Then you shouldn’t be on that thing if you need to get somewhere fast.”

The man standing behind the woman on the scooter gave a sympathetic laugh and said, “Obviously she thinks you are on that scooter to have fun.”
Woman on Scooter: “ I try to be patient, so many people just don’t get it. I guess I can’t expect them to if they haven’t experienced what I have.”
Man: “That’s kind of you but it doesn’t take too much to figure out that you aren’t on that just for fun. Not with the crutches sticking out the back.”
Woman: “Thanks. You’ve been very kind.”
They both go through the door and go on their separate ways.

Can you see how such a ‘reality’ show might be developed? Some people might ask, “Why would anyone want to see this poor woman’s trials in life?” The fact is if a show was done with a real plot and enough humor, people may laugh, but it would also get them talking about the issue; maybe something like this:

Two Non-Disabled People Sitting On Bus Watching A Woman Try to Get Her Scooter Onto It
Woman 1: “Remember that episode of the reality show we saw the other day with that guy trying to get his scooter on the bus?”
Woman 2:“Yeah, (laughs) he really had a problem getting it down the center aisle, poor guy.”
Woman 1: “ I never really thought about having to drive with all those feet right in your way. Guess I’ll be a bit more careful with my feet the next time I sit there.”
Friend sitting behind them: “Yeah right, listen to you two, those seats are for the disabled and elderly, you shouldn’t even be sitting there.”
Woman 2: “Okay, okay, I didn’t say I was going to become a saint.”

Who knows what each of those speakers went away with from the visual impact of the show and the conversation they had afterward?

There are many other situations that can be covered in such a ‘reality’ show. One thing I’ve noticed since having to use a scooter is that the doors to public buildings are usually exceptionally heavy, and mostly impossible to open from my seat on the scooter. Most people are more than happy to help me by opening and holding the door for me, even if they are not going into or out of the building themselves, but I usually do have to ask. Not because they are rude or don’t want to hold the door, but because many people seem to be in their own world as they go about their business and even though I am sitting on a shiny blue scooter it just doesn’t register that I am sitting in front of the door for a reason. Once I say, “Excuse me, would you please hold the door for me?” they jump to get the door and often apologize that they hadn’t noticed me first.

I could continue with vignettes that would make interesting episodes of the “The Life of An Independent Woman.” There could be an episode of a man in a wheelchair who commutes by subway every day and gets to the station near work only to find the elevator isn’t working. There are so few subways with elevators, with no guarantee they will be working when you get there anyway. In this case a few of his commuting comrades lifted him and carried him and his chair up the stairs, a difficult and humiliating experience for the man.

The unfortunate truth is that some of these problems could be easily fixed; provide training for the bus drivers, have easily obtained information about the working conditions of subway elevators, and whenever a building applies for a construction permit that includes doors, require that they must install outside doors that have magic eyes or push button access so people with disabilities can enter or exit independently and with ease. The truth is many people would benefit from some of these simple rulings, not just people with disabilities. Think about women with strollers, or people carrying large packages as other beneficiaries of these construction requirements.

We are all in this world together, and it would be an easier and nicer journey for all of us if we were conscious of the people around us, whatever their physical or emotional condition may be.

I want thank all the people who help me, including family, friends, and strangers, because without you I could never live the independent, productive life I enjoy.