Otter Tale

An Otter Tale

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As a child Mario was a loner, had trouble getting along with the other kids. He had an above average IQ, didn't like sports, didn't listen to popular music (he preferred opera), and was too shy to ever ask a girl out on a date. He was teased unmercifully by his classmates, the shy withdrawn boy who spent most of his time with his nose in a book.

At one point he decided to join the Drama club as a way to possibly meet other kids of his intellectual equal. Alas he was too shy to be able to speak a single line, but the teacher was very understanding and allowed him to participate in any non-speaking roles available in the school plays. After school he spent most of his free time reading comic books and watching old sci-fi shows on TV.

His mom wouldn't let him spend all his time indoors though, so when forced to go outside he would wander alone along the deserted northern California shore not far from where he lived. He soon developed an interest in marine life, studying the small aquatic mammals that frequented the beach near his home. He found that if he copied their movements, they would let him get quite close.

Eventually he started bringing a bucket filled with crabs and oysters to the beach, and soon had otters eating out of his hand. They became so used to his company that he was even able to teach them some quite elaborate tricks, after which he would reward them with the treat of a fish or a small crustacean. He attributed his success to the fact that the otters were natural mimics, and as long as he acted out what he wanted them to do silently without shouting any commands to distract them with his voice, they would copy exactly what he did.

When it was time to go to college, Mario decided to stay close to home, applying at UC Santa Cruz where he was easily accepted. He majored in marine biology but also continued his studies in the dramatic arts, becoming quite an accomplished mime, thanks to his work with the otters. He never forgot his little buddies, and whenever he had some free time he would go back to the shore, a bucket of fish in hand, to teach them new tricks and laugh at their antics.

Then something happened that changed Mario's life. A young woman, Marlene, approached him on the beach one day, while he was teaching the otters how to jump through hoops while juggling clamshells and balancing small fishes on their noses. She was quite impressed and invited him out to dinner, Mario's first real date. What happened later between them I'll leave to your imagination, but lets just say that after that night Mario and Marlene were inseparable.

Marlene's father worked in Hollywood as a producer, and was responsible for many of the popular comedy and magic specials you may have seen on TV in the last decade. Unfortunately he had fallen on hard times as of late, he wasn't able to come up with anything fresh that the networks wanted. He was desperately looking for a new angle, something different than the usual magic acts. Marlena seemed to think that Mario's otter act would fill the bill.

"I talked to Dad, I think your act would really help him out. And if the show is successful, you'll make a good deal of money from it too. Spring break's just started. I'm sure we can film the show in a week and be back here before classes start."

"But it's just a common animal act, they'll never go for that." Mario said.

"Don't worry, Dad knows some really great special effects guys, people who've worked with Lucas and Speilburg." She replied. "Those guys'll realy jazz the show up, they'll have you floating though outer space with the otters juggling stars and moons, this show will be anything but common by the time they're done with it!"

"But I'll never be able to speak in front of the camera, I'm much too shy!" Mario pleaded.

"Don't worry, just do your act as a mime, that's the way you trained the otters anyway. Dad has a friend that's a great announcer, he's been doing intros for TV shows for years, I'm sure he'll be able to come up with something for this one. Come on, I'd like to help my dad out. And if you do this for me I'll do something nice for you too, if you know what I mean."

"Well, if you put it that way, how can I refuse?" Mario replied, and soon they were on their way to Hollywood.

Marlene's father arranged to have the otters trucked down to the studio lot, an enclosure with a pool set up for them near the sound stage. The filming went well (once Mario got used to the camera), and before they knew it the two young lovers were once again back at school. Eventually the editors and special effects people finished their magic, and the show was ready to air.

On the night of the big show Mario and Marlene were sitting on the bed in her dorm room, eyes glued anxiously to the TV, as the announcer's voice read the introduction:

There is nothing wrong with your television...
Do not attempt to adjust the picture...
We control the horizontal... we control the vertical..
For the next hour we will control all that you see and hear....
You are about to participate in a great adventure....
You are about to experience the awe and mystery which reaches from
The Inner Mime to The Otter Limits !