The other side of Marketing

                                                                            The Marketing Regime



To all our discontent and ever-hungry customers we sedately present our brand new product angled at meeting their ultimate need for entertainment. Inspired by the thoughtless and whimsical approach by the customers related to our previous products, we aim to maximize our sales this season. Thanks to our all-knowing marketing department for letting negligent lazybones know about their never-existing “needs”. You are not negligent about your needs! Are you? So you would definitely buy our product.



Our top executives and the most concerned stakeholders have invested a lot in the Research and Development department. Besides, the employees arduously working here have dedicated their attention and leftover energy towards hunting new customers, inventing customer needs selflessly, thrusting the products upon them and earning more revenues- for their bosses, of course.



Finance department is a mess- Deplorable people with pitiable lifestyle drooping over the ugly numbers in a futile attempt to make some sense out of them. Nothing really important comes out, but what comes out is big- Our 5-10 year financial plan. You have got to admire us here! That is a big step. In an ever changing economic landscape where our whole financial system is bound to crumble, we somehow manage to extract a sustainable plan for our companies on the basis of a bunch of idiotic assumptions.



Enough said. Let’s come to the product now. Talking of the product, it’s not really something very innovative, but wait! “YES IT IS!” because we say so and you believe it too. Square deal. What “can” our product do? Well, with regards to the functions, it can do almost everything. However, it does not, at all, means that it “will” do everything. But remember, we want profit and that can be achieved by more sales and a suitable price of course. So you realize where we are getting at: “High Price!” But that shouldn’t bother you. You are consuming a Brand with so many mysterious powers and you will experience them as long as you “imagine” that they exist. Einstein said, “Imagination is more important than knowledge.” So, let your imagination wander and conjure up as much benefits as you can, we don’t really care, it’s all up to you because we are totally customer-driven. So, give whatever reasons for rationalizing your purchase. (As long as it does not awaken your common sense that you are being trapped and used by us, again)



Consume! Consume everything we give you! You “need” it. Look at you! You are not beautiful. Too Bad. Don’t worry. We have it all here. Just what you need! - A magical cream to transform your imbalanced ugly face into a tremendous twilight. Were you worried about your face before we told you about our product? No? Well, you are now because let’s face it “You are ugly.” You should even be more worried because now your friends are also using our product. You would be humiliated. How could you possibly permit this to happen to yourself! What are you thinking? Go grab our product!



Are you worried? Do you often stress out? Guess what! We have the solution. “Anxiety Pill!” Take it and discover happiness! However, it lasts for only two hours. You have to be worried every two hours to experience our product. Create more anxiety within yourself and among others so we could create more “Anxiety Pills” because, after all, we want our customers to be happy. Who cares about the political reforms? Who reflects on the complexities of life? For whom is the purpose of life more important than the materialistic sumptuousness? Who wants to tax his intellect? Nobody! You see, nobody! So just blank everything out and experience our product.



Coming to the long term strategy of our company, our vision is to bring quality of life in this universe. We will achieve our aim of deeply impacting this entire diverse world by focusing our products towards a handful of people in our ultra-narrowed target market. Come join us!





This is not the end. This is just the beginning. With lustful devotees like you, we will soon pile up huge profits. We will innovate the most useless products history has ever known. Come join us in this journey towards making this world a better place. We will look after your needs, invent them, match them with our products, make you lust them so intense that you wouldn't even bother caring about what’s right and wrong. Just jump on the bandwagon with us and we will make you experience the world you always craved for!