the truth is sinful

I sit here, resting my eyes in the darkness and quiet of my dimly lit room after a long day of nothing special and I can't help but allow my mind to wander.

Many things float in and out as my consciousness wanes, but mostly images of you and I flash like short movie clips in my mind. I think of you often. I think of us often. You are always my first thought of the day and always my last as I drift to dream. Images of you standing there with me, the smell of your skin, of your cologne, your breath; you caressing me, your soft and wonderful kisses; the feeling of your skin beneath my fingertips; the gruff tiny whiskers of your cheeks; of us on the floor together, me sitting on your lap like a child and you holding me so intensely, so tightly, your strong arms wrapping me in the sensations of love and protection; the moments you were poised above me, and I over you, drinking in each other's gaze, locked in the passions of this beautiful friendship which passed all too quickly.

Ahhhh, that moment, the sweet moment of mutual surrender - even if the moment shouldn't be right, there is no denying that nothing has ever been more perfect. The entire world fades to black and the rest of life melts away and disappears - everything but this feeling, this amazing feeling that nothing will ever be so right as it is in those moments. The undeniable belonging so completely to another person, the completion I feel when I'm with you.

When I gaze into your beautiful brown eyes, I hope you can see all of the love I have for you, shining like the brightest of stars. Trusting someone else for the first time in as long as I can remember. Feeling so innocent and open, there, with you. My soul burns to be with you and you alone. Life's timing may be misguided, but that is the only thing keeping me from you.

When I think of the raw passion of those first kisses, I get a catch in my throat; the intensity of those moments, the encompassing sensations and ecstasy of everything so intimate, so in tune with each other that our souls instantly meshed. I know I can't be the only one feeling so deeply. Even if I am, you enlightened me to something I truly believed only existed in movies and fairy tales. True love never existed... Until it existed in you.

For those moments, and in all the memories of those moments, I am no longer alone. I am whole, we are one