Born With Blue Skin

My childhood was a silent dream of idiosyncrasy. I was born to mother of discipline, leadership, and power. She raised my brother, Iroh, and I to speak up and stand up for everything in which we believe. At the age of 4, I would mess around with neighbors and turn little aristocrats into little mischievous human beings that ended up getting invisible presents for Christmas. Iroh was two years older than me, which automatically made him more mature and wiser than I was. He did exactly what his mother told him to do. If mother wanted him to beat up the school bully, cuss out a teacher for making him feel slow, take things that he didn't have from other kids, he did it no matter what. To him it was to impress his mother. To her it proved he was vulnerable to being controlled. Later I learned he was supposed to object to her orders. She beat him to strengthen his weaknesses. Every day I would hear Iroh cry for mercy. My mother repeatedly told him not to cry. The more he cried, the harder she would beat and the longer she would beat. After he was sent to the hospital for an injury to the skull, I knew then it be my turn next. She stood before me, determined as ever. She looked as if she were a giant. I was not intimidated nor was I anxious or fragile to thought. I was rigid and bold to the fact. She stared me in the eye and a muscular body image appeared from the back door. "Fight back as hard as you can." it said. The image showed itself proud. Turns out the muscular image were a lady body builder with a really nasty deep voice. Now I felt intimidated and like a weakling. I will not explain what happened after that. All I will say is that there were so many pools of blood on the wooden floor, that you couldn't see it.



My mother always said there's good in every one. I never believed that until she bought Iroh and I dirt bikes at the age of 5 and 7. She also let us play video games and eat Frootloops in the living room at 3:00 in the morning. She never let us not beat each other with pillows and run around in the street with nothing on but Fruit of the Looms and sometimes nothing. She also taught us how to steal small goods from a convenient store successfully. Every time she would get a call from school, she would make us clean dog poop from the grass with our bare hands. And after that got old, she made us assist a random hobo with his begging for 24 hours every time she would get a call. It taught us lesson that if we kept acting like this she would kick us out. We instantly transformed into obedient demons. Those were the days. Until something atrocious happened. The police figured out who fractured my brother's skull, and arrested my mom. She did not make eye contact with anyone. She did not say one word to either of us. I gazed Iroh in the eye, for I knew she wasn't coming back.



The police put Iroh and me in a foster care home. I hated it and I hated my brother for being worn out so easily. The place was congested with 6 other smelly kids into this one diminutive town home in San Jose. It smelled like vomit and vinegar everyday do to Ms. Dale's, the foster mother, lousy meals. I only got half of what I use to get at my mother's house. My "roommate", Chase, would always drool and because he wasn't potty trained yet, he wet the bed. Chase had the room smelling like doo-doo all day also. That was way worse than vinegar and vomit. I went to a new school. It didn't have recess, playtime, or show and tell. It had workbooks, cheap teaching, and mushy school lunches. I wanted to bring my own lunch, but Ms. Dale said she needed it for dinner. So for lunch, I didn't eat. I started to skip breakfast too. PB & J every morning began to make me nauseous. After months, I began to lose weight. Ms. Dale got very worried for I lost 15 pounds in 3 months. She took me to the doctor. The doctor, Dr. Rawlins, told Ms. Dale that I just had problems eating do to stress of not seeing my mother. So he gave her these medium bags filled with snacks. Dr. Rawlins said the vitamins in the snack should help my appetite and I should consume at least half a bag a day. I was thrilled to finally eat real food (or snacks in this case). Of course I ate about 3 in-a-half bags a day.



At the age of 7, I was bored out of my head. I realized that I hadn't annoyed anyone in a while. So one day at school, I began to chew my gum very loudly with my mouth open and the teacher, Mr. Bar, was getting agitated. I looked under my desk and there was plenty of gum under there. Since he didn't want hear me or see me chewing the gum, I pulled off 4 pieces of gum from under my desk and then walked up swiftly to Mr. Bar's desk. Quickly, I jumped on his desk and put 2 pieces of gum on his eyes and 2 pieces in his ears. The class laughed like crazy. That's what I have been missing; joy and monkey business. Of course I got in trouble, but I got out of it. Ms. Dale isn't strict about kids getting into trouble. That same week, I remember having a science a project in class and I "accidentally" stepped on the well grown caterpillar and threw its guts across the room and it landed in some girls’ hair. They screamed and cried and I was laughing it up. Yes, I got in trouble again, but I got out of it, again. A couple of weeks later, Ms. Dale took all of us to the park to have some fresh air. The park was very spacious and large enough for each child to breathe their own air. The problem was that the air smelled like horse radish all around. I saw some kids throw up and some just went along with their business. It was amazing to me how people were so different. So, I decided to walk around insulting adults, offending other races that weren’t mine, started trouble between a couple, and grossing out girly boys. I thought it was fun until everyone (even people I didn't insult) started to circle me and slowly strip and beat the instigator out of me; literally. That was the day in my life I learned the golden rule. So many tears came out of my eyes that I didn't have any more tears for the rest of my long life.



3 long troublesome years later, I was counting my money on the street so I could buy myself a video game when my brother came outside and sat next to me. I hadn't really had a conversation with him in a very long time. I only probably said about 1 sentence to him every day. Plus I was still mad about him causing us to be here. He kept looking ahead and said, “Ms. Dale said we're meeting our new dad tomorrow Clyde. She said that we are moving back to Chicago and that we would have a sister. His name is Joey, and our sister's name is Kori. We have to pack up," he stood above me and scrutinized me in the eye, “We’re starting over Clyde." and walked back inside as if he told me he hated me. Mesmerized, I stood up and glanced around dull, clinging neighborhood, and the children playing in the street, and then suddenly started to run as fast as I could to wear out my broken heart. I ran for hours without really stopping. I ended up in a farmer's field that had a scent of cattle and wheat grass was high above my head. I didn't know how I would to get home. But at that moment I didn't care, I was too deranged to care. With my roughed up hair and a black hood pulled over top my head, I screamed to the heavens over and over as far as my breath could take me.



Feeling the cold raindrops pounce off of my thin hood, I decided to sneak into the farmer’s cabin. I tip toed through the fields of corn and strawberries because the ground was muddy and I just got new white shoes. The cabin looked ancient but the smell of barbecued chicken filled my nostrils and awakened my taste buds. The rain started to pour onto my head. I got startled by the cracking of a rotten nut under my shoe. Then a stranger came behind me and pulled my hood over my head enough to cover my face. I assumed he was a man by his force. He put a rope or string around my neck to choke me and said, "Get off my property before I eat your insides while you’re breathing my air." His breath was strong, cracked, and smelled of smoke. He then let me go and I was breathing extremely hard just as if I ran full speed nonstop for 20 minutes. He contemplated my face deliberately and then asked in laughter, "Scared ya butt off didn't I?" He probably could tell I thought he was crazy by the way I stared him down. "You must be city people. It’s okay you'll get used to it. You can go on home now. Bye city boy," I hoped he would get the message that I had no idea how to get home. Instead, he assumed that I had nowhere to go and let me stay there for the night. He claimed he was very lonely and needed someone to talk to besides himself and his animals. He hated the fact that I never said one word to him so it didn't make a difference that he wasn't talking to himself.



"City Boy!" the farmer yelled. "Your break-fast awaits ya!" I awoke recalling that I was staying in the farmer's dump. He left the room with a grin. I was glad I was keeping him company, but I really would rather be at Ms. Dale's house eating peanut butter and vomit for breakfast. This place smells a mixture of cow piss, cigarettes, and arm pit. I got out of bed and looked out the crooked window- chickens gobbling on chicken food, multiple dogs wrestling each other, and a cow pissing on the green grass. That was the most disturbing sight I ever saw. I walked into the kitchen, which was outside down some steps, and saw my breakfast sitting there. I was terrified to walk down the steps because he told me they were not stable. So my smart brain decided to jump the 6 steps. I stumbled, missed the last step, and landed on my chin. Worst decision ever. I didn't cry a tear, I screamed; loudly. Then, I knew that screaming would be my replacement for crying. The farmer came over asking me what was wrong and I stood up strong with no fear, for I felt like a man for the first time. But then I froze into a deep thought. I wasn't a man. I was a boy thinking he was a man. I ran away from home because I didn't want to meet my new father I never had or ever wanted. Then I remembered what my Uncle Thomas said 'It takes a real man to cry. It takes a real man to be prominent and not care what everyone thinks. It takes a real a man to face his fears. And it takes a real man to admit he is weak. That's the man I want you to be.' At that time, when he told me, I had no clue what he was talking about. At this moment, I began to comprehend that all of this nonsense gave me a message that the burden of becoming a man is the best adventure a boy could ever go through. Love, loss, responsibility, struggle, joy, labor, reality, and life itself. I took off running into the fields ready to find my home and meet my new family. I heard the farmer's City Boy cry, but I kept on going. Maybe he might have a vision one day. My ventures ceased, my mind is set, and I'm ready live.



An unfamiliar black man, a teary eyed Latino little girl in pig tails, the police, and Ms. Dale stood in front of her home.

"There he is!" The girl exclaimed as she ran and gave me a really long and tight hug. I knew right away they were my new family.



"Ah, Clyde nice to meet you and I'm glad you're okay," The police said shaking my hand in relief. "Thank you so much for your help." Ms. Dale said shaking the hand of the police very wildly. She looked as if she was going to explode into emotion. "Now that that problem is solved I can go eat a taco. Have a nice day everyone." The police walked away to his car and drove off with a content grin on his face. We all walked inside the now awkward household. There was no one in the house but Ms. Dale and it was very quiet, so I assumed the other kids must be at school. The man stared at me and the little girl was now holding my hand.



The black man was a tall, dark, elegant looking man. I had a feeling that the Latino girl was adopted also. She looked like a 6 or 7 year old. She was very cute and reticent but excited at the same time. I knew they wouldn't like me one bit once they knew the real me. I knww they’d love Iroh. He's a snitch, cry baby, too smart, too nice, weak, quiet, too good in behavior, and the biggest weenie they will ever meet. I was really disappointed though because I hadn't brushed my teeth yet, neither have I taken a bath in the last 2 in half days. I don't know if I was hallucinating, but I think I felt some wetness in my pants and I don't remember ever using the restroom. So, I kept my distance from anyone before they smelled my manure body odor.



Breaking the silence, Ms. Dale said sarcastically, "I'll leave you three to catch up on each other lives." and swiftly walked away into the kitchen. Even when she left it was still extremely silent and I was very anxious to get a shower.

I opened my mouth to say something but no words would budge which made me appear stupid.



"What's wrong?" The girl asked in concern.



"Oh nothing. Just nervous that I'm talking to my new sister right now." I replied talking through my teeth.

The man was still eyeballing me down when he said, "Clint, I am extremely thankful that you and Iroh are my new sons now. I cannot wait to finally get to know you guys much better than what the descriptions gave me. You actually look much better in person. My daughter, Kori, here, already likes you I can tell. Right, Kori?" He looked over at Kori.



"Yes, of course daddy." she said looking up at me. I figured it was my turn to say something because it got silent again.



"Um, my name is Clyde by the way, not Clint. I am going to be honest. I strongly disagree that I have a new father because I never met my real father. And it makes me feel as if I betrayed my family by being with a person I have never seen before. Specifically my mother. I don't hate you or dislike you; I just don't want anyone other than my mother being my parent. You will not be my mother and I will not let you be my mother. I'm sure Iroh feels the same way." He was astonished as I was saying this. I basically just told him I hate him. What a great start.



“Wow. Actually, Iroh loves the fact he has a new father. He told me that he hated his mother and she made him feel like a weakling compared to you. So I see why you love your mother so much. You and your mother where very close. Weren't you?"



I was hesitating to answer this question. "Um, yes we did. We had the same personality and I was like a clone when people saw us together. I had the best times living and being with her. Iroh might hate her but I love her and will always love her no matter what she does to me or other people." I felt like screaming again. One, because I really, really, missed my mom; and two, I couldn’t talk anymore with foul breath.



"You loved your mother? I loved my mother too. She died of a concussion from my real daddy pushing her down the stairs," Kori said out of nowhere. "Now I hate my dad even though I really never saw him before."

I felt perplexed because I hadn't eaten in 48 hours and I was sure I was going to explode. "Look, I don't care about you and your mom and your dad. I just want to be sitting in my mom's living room with her. Look Joey, you don't even know my mom. In fact I don't think you've ever even seen her before. When you look at her, you’re going to propose to her. She's the most beautiful, fun person you will ever meet. I don't even know why I'm sitting here." I got up, went down the street, into a convenient store, and slickly stole some toothpaste, a toothbrush, mints, and roasted peanuts. I stood outside the convenient store and used the mouthwash when Joey came walking towards me.



"Look you don't have to be all nice just because your my new dad, Joey," I said as I opened the bag of nuts. "You don't have to accept me. I might not be old enough to be alone, by myself, but I am intelligent enough to take care of myself. My mother taught me survival skills when I first started walking. So you could just put me on the street one day and the next day I'll be as wealthy and famous as Oprah."



Eating the first couple of nuts caused my nerves to finally settle down. Joey didn't say a word; instead he grabbed my roasted peanuts out from my trembling hand, and started to munch on them. Now my nerves were up again. “Why did you take my nuts. I hadn't eaten in 2 days, hadn't brushed my teeth yet, and I think I need potty training again," I said as I snatched back my peanuts. "You're acting immature. Like a boy my age." By now, my face was tomato red, and my heart was tired of shouting.



"Hmm," Joey said shaking his head. "Ms. Dale told me about your behavior."



"But the problem with that is that I am my age so I can act immature all I want. It's a part of growing up. And no one kid is going ever to run me over." Joey busted into tears at that moment. At first I thought he was faking, but when I saw real tears it proved me wrong.



"I didn't have a childhood Clyde. My mother wasn't there, my father wasn't there, and the worst part, I didn't have anyone to take care of my sister and me. I didn't have anyone to answer my questions; I had to find it myself. I was the one going to work, buying food, taking her to school. I had no childhood. All I had was work, work, work, no play. I didn't go to school until the age of thirteen when someone finally cared enough to take me in. But my sister got separated from me. I've never seen my sister ever since then. That was the worst feeling you could have when you may never see your sister again. That's why I'm taking you both in. I don't want you to be separated or alone."

Joey wasn't afraid to cry. People glanced and stared, but Joey didn't care. I have learned a lesson about life; not to care what anyone else thinks. I was rejuvenated by the story so I apologized.

"I'm sorry Joey for being rude to you and insulting your childhood by talking about mine. And I truly thank you for taking me and Iroh in especially. I don't know about Iroh, but I hate this place." Joey didn't have any sign of forgiveness on his face. He just glanced at my face in disgust and signaled me to head to the taxi in reticence.



Kori, Iroh, and the taxi driver where already waiting on us. Iroh was angry with our languid walking and yelled to hurry up. I continuously tried to speak to Joey but he wouldn't budge. The plane ride was very spacious and quiet. Everyone that was on the plane had their own seats. I finally was able to relax myself into a deep sleep. When I woke up, the plane was deserted. No one shook me awake to tell me that the plane ride was over. I had to run out of there very quickly before they close the doors. The doors were already closed and ended up staying there for three hours before people found me there. The plane attendance lead me to where my family was waiting. Nobody said a word; they just looked ahead ignoring me. I decided I was not going to be ignored. I made lots of boisterous noise with my luggage to annoy them so they could speak. Iroh looked very agitated but didn't say a word. I looked above my head, smelled the air, and discovered I was in Chicago again. I was so content with the discovery, my knees hit the ground and my lips touched the concrete. Now I was ignoring their voices in the shadows. The car finally rolled up and a tall black woman came out of the driver's seat. She looked at Iroh and me and exclaimed, “Iroh, Clyde, nice to meet you. I'm Joey's girlfriend, Michelle."



I was horrified; she would be replacing my mom. I wanted to pass out but I just stood there. I hoped she had parental skills like my mom. An airport worker assisted us with our bags and Michelle escorted us to the back of her black SUV. I was curious to ask about the house, and it seemed no one else was going to ask. "What's the house look like?" I was very anxious to get home now that she told me they live in a roomy house with a built in pool outside. But it wouldn't be so roomy anymore now that Iroh and I are moving in. Once we got to the white house, Kori, Iroh, and I ran inside. The place was small on the outside but extensive on the inside. The walls were covered with large frames of the family, kitchen cleaned white, and a shower big enough for 25 people. This was the home I would be living in for the next 7 years. Joey didn't talk to me for weeks but eventually he let his laces loose. Over the weeks, Michelle just kept on blabbing about her job and childhood stories, Kori was always at her little friend’s house, and Iroh would stay in his room all day gazing at the new 52" flat screen. I was glad it was summer time because my daily routine was wake up 10:47am, brush teeth, eat Frootloops, take a shower, play in the pool with neighbors until 2:00pm, eat lunch, take an hour nap, play in the pool by myself until 5:00, take a shower, play Xbox at 6:30pm through 9:50pm, eat dinner, watch TV, then go to bed at 11:08.



But when school season rolled around, it was another whole story. Michelle would have these berserk outbursts about nothing at all. Kori became the devil of the house when she had to go back to this horrible daycare after school every day. Iroh was so nervous, he barfed on Joeys white leather shoes every time he heard the word school. That's what made Joey go crazy. I just stood in the middle of the never ending circle of back to school chaos. Michelle drove Joey to work, Kori and I to elementary school, and Iroh to junior high. The next couple of weeks were Hell at home. School was boring, the food was bitter, but the teaching and people were fun. For the first time, I actually looked forward to going to school. The kids there had the exact same knowledge as I did. We smoked pot with the older kids, we vandalized buildings, went skateboarding often, stole of course, and we mugged other kids. One day, we had the same idea that if we distract the teachers, we would be able to start a food fight. And that we did. It was the most fun I had at school in a long time. We thought we would never get caught, but a guy named Samuel ruined it with his snitch behind. He was a new kid waiting in the front office, which was right in front of the cafeteria, and saw our trick.



Yeah, we got in trouble, and I didn't get out of it. Since Joey was my new dad, he had the right to give me my first historic whipping and ground me for a week. I had to stay in my room all week. He took all my electronics out of my room including the TV. The only thing left in there was an alarm clock. I went back to school wanting to beat this Samuel guy silly. When I approached him the next day, before I could even remember I had to beat him up, he started to talk to me. And the conversation about God being wrong about having girls in the universe was really interesting and it almost convinced me to be on the debate team. Over the next months, I ditched my old friends, and Sam and I ended up hanging out with each other a lot. We became quiet trouble makers. Sam was the "brain" and I was the "body". Together, we became invincible. Sam and I would use hangers to bust into my neighbor's house and egg the inside before he got home. And the peculiar part to us is that we egged the interior of his house at least once a week, and he still never found out who it was. We took out the camera's lens of our homeroom, hot glued the room, then spray painted the seats and desks. We never got suspected for that. Instead, a group of loud trouble makers got suspected and suspended because we put the supplies in their desks.

T

hree lively years later, Sam got a Great Dane for Christmas. He was very good looking; He was black, big and beautiful. We played with that dog all day. It was funny because we went a whole week without realizing that we hadn't named him yet. It was Sunday that day so we just named him Sunday. I knew that was the best gift Sam ever got after I heard what he got in the previous years, "Last year, my mom got me Spiderman underwear and a robe. My sisters got me a $5 bracelet that spelled out I love Barney. And the worst part is that my dad didn't get anything at all. But that ain't nothing' compared to what my grandmother gave me 2 years ago. She got me a copy of the movie GREASE! I'd rather get nothin' on Jesus's Birthday!" I was very thankful for what I got for Christmas. Now I knew for the first time what another person had to go through just because they didn't have a good Christmas.



The following Christmas, unfortunately, wasn’t as great. Instead of playing with Sunday, running back and forth each other’s homes comparing gifts, having a cookie-eating race, and beating each other with snow balls, Sam died. We were in a convenient store with his mom scratching lotto tickets. Sam and I were in the candy section tucking candy in our pockets and eating them at the same time when some old man came in and threatened to shoot everybody if he didn’t get his mama back. Sam and I glanced at each other and hid behind the shelves while the man shot the cashier and some other random people. We then heard a wailing scream, and Sam immediately went into panic mode. Shaking and twitching he whispered, “That’s my mama. That’s my mama he messin’ with. I ain’t gonna let him kill my mama. He gonna have to go through me first.” And with that, he ran right up to that man, jumped, and kicked that man in his crouch. Beside him, he stared down in horror as his mom lay there, motionless with blood hugging her body. He saw the gun in that man’s hand, snatched it, and while the man was cringing from the pain, Sam shot him in the head, then shot himself in the chest twice before collapsing onto the floor next to his mother.



Everything after that moment was a blur. Nowadays, I end up always making a simple problem difficult and I have become blind by the good because I only see the bad. Now, at the age of 17, I'm a little bemoaned by the fact that I came this far. Flunked 8th grade, became a pacifist in 9th grade, attempted suicide, found out I can never see my mother again, Michelle and Joey got married, had a split, and then she took Kori and they moved out, Iroh's living a new beginning at Yale, which leaves Joey and I alone to suffer the dullness of the empty house. What a life.