A Thousand Earthquakes

A thousand earthquakes


1.

I've lived
a thousand
earthquakes.

My feet
do not trust
solid ground,
but in time,
I will learn
to trust you.

2.

You are like
concrete;
stable, unmoving,
predictable. 

Even in the presence
of your calm,
my feet tremble,

and my heart
keeps time
for songs of fear. 

I am a moving target;
a walking, singing contradiction.
But look, I'm still
standing here
singing my song.

3.

Sometimes, I catch your smile
when you hear me singing.
Sometimes,
I wish I could tell you
how my song
drowns out the thud
of my beating heart
in your house of serenity.

You see, sometimes,
noise is peace
and silence
is the birthpain
of chaos.

4. 

But do not stop trying
to be my sanctuary,
and please
do not mistake
my mourning song
for misery
or my silence
for a peaceful soul.

5.

If  birds and children
stop singing their songs,
they're trying to tell you
something
no words can ever describe

while praying
you can hear
what was never said.

SWPoet
See below for details:

4-6-12

SW's attempt to step into the shoes of a teen
who has PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder)
from long term and repeated child abuse and sexual truama.
For more information on child trauma, check out www.childtrauma.org,
and a book called  The Boy who was Raised as a Dog , both by Dr. Bruce Perry,
and for information on Attachment Disorder, check out the website www.ATTACh.org .


Original version (part 1 only-rephrased:

1.

I've lived
a thousand
earthquakes.

My feet
have not met
solid ground.