Bare Nature

This story starts out ordinarily enough: it was a beautiful afternoon, I was feeling restless, and a walk through a nearby woodland park seemed like the perfect cure. The park is a little less than a mile away, so I walked there and headed up the path into the trees. The sun was heading down towards the horizon by this time, there was a crisp fresh tang in the air, and I was all alone, suddenly very far from the city I'd just left behind.

That's when it hit me, like a little tingle of electricity up the spine. All alone. I could just take off all my clothes, right here, and no-one would mind. The idea went round and round my mind, until some little devil in my nature said, "OK, then." Still not quite ready to go for it, I took off my coat and sweater, bare to the waist now, and carried on walking up the hill. The climb was quite steep in places, and I was glad of the extra air, wicking away the sweat that would otherwise (aptly) have wound up in my sweater. The cool air tingled delightfully, and my exertions kept me warm. If anyone had happened by, they'd have been a bit surprised at this odd topless man, but I wasn't really doing anything wrong. Yet. The devil kept whispering, though, saying how much better still it would be if I could lose the trousers as well, and my heart beat faster.

I walked on like that, slogging my way to the top, never quite daring to give in. Maybe it was the exhilaration of making it to the summit, or maybe it was just inevitable, but once I got there I started looking around for a discreet spot to go all the way. A large, fallen tree looked like just the shelter I needed, off the path a bit and with nothing but trees on one side. I headed across, hunkered down, and set to taking off my boots and socks. This was it; only the trousers left. I took a deep breath, undid the belt and pulled them off, boxers and all. I'd done it! The rough bark of the tree rested against my back like a loofah, and my bare bum rested on a carpet of damp leaves. It felt amazing, just resting there, legs apart, letting the breeze caress every part of me, really feeling the forest in a way I'd never done before. It also felt gloriously naughty, but without any of the hurt to others naughtiness usually causes; I felt alive! The sunset and the nearby squirrels just felt like icing on the cake.

It could never have lasted long, not in February, but suddenly I heard a sound, horribly like people walking past. Turning, I saw a couple walking along the path behind me. They could only see my head and shoulders, though, and possibly my bare feet. And they were a distance away. For a moment I froze, but either they didn't notice me or they didn't mind, because they just carried on walking. This wasn't part of the plan! This was supposed to be my alone time with the woods, bothering no-one. Hurriedly, I dressed and sent a silent prayer to the hikers that no harm had been done.

Walking back down the hill, I met more people, hikers and dog-walkers; suddenly I realised just what a crazy risk I'd just taken. Where were all these people on the way up, when they could have stopped me? But I smiled, and said hello, hoping none of that showed on the surface. The exhilaration was still there, but I also felt a little sad that I'd never be able to do this again.

Somewhere along the way back, I started to notice that there was something a little scratchy in my trousers, so when I got home I went to the bathroom to check. Stripping down, both trousers and boxers looked surprisingly clean (given that they'd so recently been resting on a tree) but the scratchiness was still there. Some of those damp leaves (and what looked like a bit of fern) had decided to wedge themselves up my bum and go along for the ride; a fitting souvenir, perhaps, of my woodland adventure.