WINNER Entry - "I did it once..."

"I did it once, I'll never do it again." Jessica smiled when she said it though, which made me think that she probably didn’t really mean it.

“So, what was it like?” I asked, truly curious in a giddy sort of way. “Was it really… complicated?”

“No, not really. It took a little getting used to, but once we all figured out who belonged to what, and which hands were whose, it pretty much easy peasy from there.”

“Easy peasy, not how I ever thought I’d hear anyone describe that particular act.” I said, giggling. It was really just too much to believe, talking about this kind of thing at a table at the café at our local bookstore. But then, Jessica was always the braver and more enthusiastic of the two of us. She had been my best friend for over 20 years, but every now and then a tidbit like this would jump into the conversation and make my mouth drop open.

“How did it even happen?” I asked, unable to stop myself. This was just too fascinating and, since it is something I’m pretty sure I’d never do, I really wanted all the gory details.

“Well, we were just kind of all hanging out at the bar, and we were all getting pretty trashed. The conversation was getting really hot, let me tell you!” Jess paused, lost in thought for a minute. “I was hoping to get lucky with one of the guys we met that night. He was absolutely gorgeous. Tall and dark and handsome. I had no idea he was the kind of guy who would be able to do the things he did, let me tell you. He didn’t seem the type.” She stopped her story to take a sip of her grande latte mocha caramel whatchamacallit.

“So…” I prompted

“So, we all got up to leave, and nobody was really sure where we were going to go. I mean, I thought we’d go to another bar, maybe at a hotel or something, and just keep doing what we were doing, at least for a little while longer. But my friend Michelle, do you remember her? Long blond hair and kind of skanky? Well, she had her hand practically down this one guy’s pants, and then Lindsey and Sean were almost joined at the hip. Talk about get-a-room” She stopped again.

At this point, my curiosity was absolutely killing me. “Then what?”

“Well, I heard this low moaning sound, and I was pretty sure that someone, somewhere was getting laid. At least, that’s what it sounded like, and since that was what I thought was the plan, I just figured that someone had just gotten a bit of a head start on the rest of us. I mean, a group orgy isn’t really something I do every day!” She giggled and I giggled and we both burst out laughing. Other guests of the café looked in our direction, and that made it worse. We tried not to snort or make too much noise as we wiped our eyes and tried, unsuccessfully to get ourselves under control. Something happens when the two of us get together, and we have a strange tendency to laugh non-stop at not really all that funny things.

Finally, once our hysteria settled, she started talking again. “So, there we are, just about out the door and we hear this noise. At first it almost sounded sexy, but then as it went on, I realized it was someone in distress. So my guy, Mr. Tall, Dark and Handsome, starts running toward the noise. We all followed, half drunk and stumbling but he must not have been as toasted as the rest of us because he got way ahead of us. By the time we caught up with him, he was already on his knees between her legs and he started barking orders. I had no idea he was a paramedic, I guess our conversation never got that far. And so, with quite a bit of coaxing and praying for 911 to show up, we all helped deliver her baby right there on the street!”

“It was pretty scary.” She went on, “With lots of blood and screaming. It was really pretty horrible. But once it was over – and it took all of about 10 minutes, seriously – and the baby was cleaned up, she was really the cutest little thing, and the mother was sobbing with joy and profusely grateful for our help. I mean, can you imagine? You run out to the store for some ginger ale, thinking you have three more long weeks of being huge as a house, and bang, your water breaks on the sidewalk and suddenly, you can’t do anything but stop and drop and pray for help.”

The mood turned serious now, and we both contemplated how truly bizarre and unexpected and totally horrific that experience must have been for that new mom.

“Thankfully though, this guy knew everything and he really handled it all like a pro. He kept her calm and kept all of us drunken fools calm and kept the baby safe and it was all really quite a miracle. At least, that’s how I remember it.” Jessica finished her story and finished off her drink. “And the best part of it all is, I got his number.” She smiled wickedly.

We both stood up to leave. “And although it was quite an interesting experience, I really do have to say that I hope that I never have to do anything like that ever again.” I agreed wholeheartedly as we walked out the door and it gently closed behind us.