Irreplaceable

Irreplaceable

So I spoke to you of romance,
A world of silly things—
Dainties, ladies, all in white
Pale wine and yellow rings,
And of how it all meant nothing—
The bitterest of words.
I laughed away the tension, but
I knew that you had heard.

It wasn’t long before the wind
Called my hot blood to roam.
You watched me, grieved, but unsurprised
As I abandoned home.

I went to seek my fortune, as
Cliché as all that sounds.
I imagined the way
Clearer on unfamiliar ground.
Days and weeks and decades—the green
Ages of the world…they
Passed as if in seconds, and left
Rot instead of pearl.

And if in the end I found it,
Through all that I had spent
I stared around and realized I’d
Forgotten what it meant.
A letter came without a name;
You’d married in the spring.
The yellow band upon your hand
Was someone else’s ring.

I knew that I’d lost more than time
When I betrayed your trust;
With open eyes looked back to find
My road had turned to dust.
I found myself alone and cold
Far from familiar shores
With everything I had of home
Long buried by the war.

I realized that, while I stepped up,
I knew why some had not—
Those years of blood and sweat and fear
Could peel an onion heart.

And now without a compass—with
No memory and no map;
Just trophies, medals, rusting gold
And hope to lead me back…
I find I’d give all I have earned
And scraped and struggled for
If those cold honors could be burned
To bring me home once more.


2007