Like a Normal Person

She skidded against the cracked surface, her lip catching against a bump left behind by a careless skater. She lay there for a second, her flushed cheek cooling quickly, the sweet-copper taste of blood coating the ridges of tongue and throat. With her ear pressed against the cold, she could feel the rhythms of passing skaters scritch and scratch past her. She closed her eyes, ignoring the throb in her knee, the sting of her lip. There was no sound, no feeling—just her face, her limbs, crystallized in that moment, that instant, there—

“Coco!”

Yes. “Yes,” she turned her face to smile a little. He reached down and pulled her easily up, a wry smile caught in the thin folds of his cheeks. He wiped a smear of the blood away from her mouth, and she swallowed the rest of it, her throat catching a little.

“That was embarrassing.”

“Thanks, Jamie,” she snorted, punching him lightly on the shoulder. But it was a little—she, practically born onto ice and frozen ponds, slipping on the fake plastic ice making a mess of herself. There was a little blood left on the plastic, and she tried to scuff it off, with little success.

“I need a break, want to grab some hot chocolate?” Jamie asked, beginning a leisurely skate to the edge of the rink.

She laughed, “I guess I could use one too,” He smiled and pulled her in front of him, tucking her snugly in front of him and holding his hands over the front of her waist. She laughed, and they skated in sync to the rink’s opening.

He paid for both their chocolates from the be-mittened rink attendant, despite Coco’s protests. He set the Styrofoam cups in front of her, then scooted onto her side of the bench, tucking an arm around her waist and sipping tentatively from the steaming cup.

She leaned into his side, and stirred her chocolate absently, watching the skaters slide, glide, and occasionally stumble by. A stone-faced couple skated past, hand in hand, speechless and graceful. Another pair took over the middle of the rink, the girl having fallen and the boy rocking back on his skates in laughter. Coco smiled a little and took a too-huge gulp of the scalding chocolate.

“See anything interesting?” Jamie peered past her, the eternal hint of laughter at the edge of his voice.
“Oh—people. I always forget how much I just love people.”

“Really?” He leaned in and dropped a kiss on her forehead “Do tell me more,”

She chuckled. “You’re ridiculous—always trying to psycho-analyze me and shit.”

He tossed a hand to his chest, “Me? You doubt my sincerity, my genuine interest? That hurts beyond words.”

“You. Are absurd.” She splashed a drop of the cooling chocolate on his nose, and his fingers managed a vicious response by tangling themselves over her ribcage.

“Stop, stop!” She gasped, laugh-shrieking. A few rink-patrons gave her hesitant looks, while others darted almost poisonous glances.

He raised an eyebrow. “And don’t you forget it. Now,” and he pulled her back to him. “What is it that you just love about people?”

She smiled. “Isn’t it just, I don’t know—funny—how people can so easily lose themselves in their own heads? How a moment, a conversation with someone else can be that person’s whole world for an instant—and to everyone else it’s just the same-old story of girl crushing hard on boy.”

“Or vice-versa,” Jamie smiled, running two fingers over her side.

“Haha—really very funny,” She snorted, but her insides gave a not unpleasant leap. “You know what I mean though? How—the tiniest things that have happened countless times before, when they happen to you they seem so much more significant and world-shaking.” She points at the girl, who pulled the boy down on the ice next to her in struggling to rise. “That girl, for instance, will probably remember today or a day much like it for the rest of her life, while to me—it just seems like some sad person’s hopeful little date gone wrong.”

“Oh,” Jamie followed her finger. “That’s a little harsh, don’t you think?”

“Maybe,” Coco shrugged, settling back in back next to him. “But you know what I mean, right?”

His face clouded for an instant, watching the couple. “Yeah, I understand what you’re getting at. Those little moments, repeated a million times, even by the same person can hold a new meaning each time. That’s all life is, I spose—a billion repeats with a new wonder and spark at the core. Doesn’t make any of them less valuable.” He tightened his arm around her while speaking.

They were quiet for a moment, until Jamie stirred a little, kissed the top of Coco’s head, saying, “So, do you want to keep skating? Or we could go back to my apartment and try some of the wine I got?”

She looked at the sky. It was very dark by now, and most of the skaters were either rink-side or heading to the exit. She stretched, it had been a long day. “Let’s blow this plasticle stand.”

“Oh god—that is so seriously unfunny I think you’ve been out here too long.” He scooped her out of booth and they both teetered a little on the edge of his skates.

“Gah—put me down, crazy!” she laughed, slipping out of his grasp and untying her skates. He sat down and followed suit.

They soon pulled out of the crowded lot—he singing quietly to his favorite song, and she tracing the lines of Orion against the window.

A few hours later, Coco nestled her head against Jamie’s chest, making him laugh at her faces and covering his neck with her wild hair. The moon fell in through the venetian blinds, painting them in distorted stripes like drunken zebra.
Happy, she thought, tracing his eyebrow with her index finger. This moment—is good. I am truly happy. She lay her head near his and simply looked.

A phone went off. Jamie started and rolled over to the nightstand. He checked the screen for an instant, and turned an apologetic face to Coco. “I’m so sorry, could you give me one second?”

She laughed, though the sound was a little too loud. “Of course! It’s always ok.”

He smiled absent-mindedly and walked into the bathroom, closing the door. She lay there, between the twisted sheets for an instant, and closed her eyes, grabbing a pillow and burying her face in it—just breathing, allowing the shampoo—the smell of his hair—whatever it was that was buried in the cotton fibers, fill her nostrils and her head. One moment. Two.

Then, her eyes still closed—she let her feet find the cold hardwood floor. Bracing herself, she opened her eyes and collected her scattered clothes, and dressed herself neatly in front of the mirror. She pulled her mussed hair back, and re-applied her eyeliner and lip-balm.

Coco glanced across the apartment at her shoes, neatly settled next to her purse, and considered putting them on.

Before she could decide, Jamie opened the door and found her standing by the window, smiling a little smile. He was unsurprised to see her dressed, merely running his hand over her shoulder and resting it on the nape of her neck. “Your hair looks nice like that,” before pulling on his own clothes.

At the finality of that gesture, Coco pulled her socks and shoes on and helped him re-make the bed.

While walking her to her car, Jamie pulled her in for a quick hug, kissing her gently. ‘I’m so sorry—I thought she wasn’t coming home tonight. She knew you would be over—I guess her date didn’t go as well as hoped.” Coco nodded briskly, her smile sticky and sharp against the night.

He held her away from him for a minute, peering closely at her. “You know that I never want you to feel less valuable or less than her in any way, right? You’re very important to me.” He kissed Coco again, not noticing her stiffness or the way her fingers itched for her car keys. “Eight years is a long time to be with someone, and well, the apartment is her home too.”

“I know,” Coco said brightly, her face set pleasantly. “I told you, it’s completely fine.”

Jamie looked at her again, then hugged her. “Ok then. I’ll call you later. Do you think you’ll be free on Friday?”

She dug her keys out of her purse and unlocked the car, slipping gently inside. “I’ll let you know.” Seeing his face drop a little, she amended “Probably.”

“Ok,” Jamie smiled. “Drive safe, and have a beautiful night.”

“Thanks,” Coco said back, starting the engine. “You too.”

And with a gentle click, he closed her door, waved, then jogged back up to his apartment.

Coco turned into the street, and turned on speakerphone with her sister, and apartment-mate. “Hey sis, actually I’m going to be back home tonight. I completely forgot to throw in some laundry for tomorrow.” Her voice was suspiciously cheery, even to herself.

Her sister answered acidly, “Really? I was going to have a guest over. You sure?”

Coco kept her eyes on the road. “Yeah, I really have to wash this stuff for work. Sorry.”

Her sister snorted. “Sure. I bet his girlfriend came home early and you had to leave, didn’t you?”

Coco was silent, her hands steering methodically. “Hey Coco, you still there?” her sister said after a pause. “God—why can’t you see this whole shitty situation like a normal person—like everyone else can. It’s fucked up, and not normal and jeez—“ the line went quiet. “Hey, ok. I won’t be in the apartment tonight then—I’ll be at my friend’s place. You know my cell for whatever.” And the line went dead.

Coco drove the way home in almost silence, letting her phone’s empty static keep her company.